A Sentimental Goodbye

So I suppose it's time to wax sentimental. Today I leave Provo, Utah. It's certainly not the first time I've done it, but this time it's for good (as far as I know). And, as usual, it's somewhat of a bittersweet farewell. I've learned a lot here. That is not an overstatement, and does not include my college experience, that, on the whole was pretty informative too. I've met great people, done many stupid things, many smart things, had some adventures, heartbreaks, backbreaks, disputes, discords, reconciliations, and intimate moments. It's been good (Now that's an understatement).

It really didn't hit me until this morning. I got out of the shower and my room mate said, "I may never see you. I wrote you a note." It was short and light-hearted, and yes, it did include what I owed him for last months utilities, but that doesn't take away from the fact that he wrote it. I've been in and heard of too many situations where a departure from a house or apartment is anticlimactic, as in, they leave on a flight or drive away while their room mates are still sleeping. Or, they leave and no one cares. Well, it's nice to know someone cares. And last night some friends took me out to dinner for a bon voyage party. I went out with some old freshman year buddies for lunch. I had one last hurrah hiking/camping trip with some friends down in Zion National Park over the weekend. I feel good about the culmination of way to many years here.

However, there are of course people who are probably not so sad to see me go. I've been, and still am at times stubborn, inflammatory, blunt, petty, lazy, forgetful, uncaring, aloof, etc. (and so much more). To those who I have hurt, defamed, or otherwise destroyed, I apologize. I never intended to do harm to anyone (unless I did - that is, in that case that you messed with my friends or family). On the other hand, I think, in many ways I have been helpful to people with good words of advice and encouragement, providing perspective and hope. I have always cared for people big and small, and gone out of my way to make their lives a little happier. I realize I'm not dead yet, but I try to live each day so that when I leave this world the world will hopefully shed a tear or two instead of just throwing a massive celebration at my departure. I will miss my friends here (but I also encourage them to finish up here and get on with life elsewhere). Provo has been a great place to grow, but thank goodness it's not the only place.

At this point of the sentimental post I'm going to list some memorable moments:

1. Getting arrested and thrown in jail in Eureka, Nevada
2. The first surf trip to Morro Bay (with my two friends who were 6' 3" and 6' 5")
3. Breaking off my engagement
4. The second surf trip to Morro Bay (with both friends being 6' 1")
5. Going over several layers of management to get my refund on my engagement ring
6. The third surf trip to Morro Bay and on down to San Diego (hitting Ventura and LA beaches) - good food the whole trip
7. Getting accused of being a stalker by Mall security
8. Surfing in LA/San Diego (burned some bridges and the car was killed by a metrosexual)
9. Hiking in Zion freshman year and getting kicked out of the park at night
10. Going to my grandparents for Thanksgiving every year for the past couple years
11. Driving from Exeter, CA to Duxbury, MA, wasting 1300+ miles just getting out of CA, then driving nearly 41 hours straight from Sacramento to Duxbury with only an hour rest in an Indiana rest stop
12. Homecoming freshman year. We went to an Italian place and the Mahi mahi was dry and my stomach didn't fare so well in the bathroom later, but I did learn some Italian while in there
13. Going to endless senior recitals with delicious food and good friends
14. Hiking up past the Y two times, and both times being halted by snow drifts
15. Hiking Mount Timpanogos a few times, mostly freshman year
16. Getting my car towed at least 5 times in the course of maybe a month or two, also getting 8 parking tickets on campus (mostly 5 minutes before it was OK for me to park in the spot)
17. Going to many football, volleyball, soccer, lacrosse, and basketball games with friends
18. Many late night runs to Wendy's, Arby's, or some other unhealthy place to eat
19. Traveling to most of California's National and State Parks in May of last year (also dropping by my family's cabin northeast of Yosemite)
20. Going out to the cabin with two friends (enjoying the 4th of July in Bridgeport, Bodie, hotsprings, and fresh mountain air)
21. Getting a friend of mine to pay for my sandwich at the Cougar Eat and then regifting it in his sink later
22. Cross-Country Skiing at Aspen Grove
23. Foundations of Leadership at Aspen Grove (I am only in contact with one of those people)
24. A recent surf trip from Morro Bay and Pismo up to San Francisco with friends
25. Zion National Park this past weekend
26. Test driving an Audi TT, a Mazda 6, the new Accord, and some other cars down Provo Canyon (always telling the attendant I was going to buy a car in the near future)
27. Going down to Vegas to give my abandoned car to a tow company guy who didn't speak english and then seeing the shark exhibit at Mandalay Bay
28. Catching 9 straight shrimp in my mouth at Asuka two years ago for Valentine's Day
29. Rafting on the Provo river
30. Getting asked by every new person who ever came by my house if I surfed and why I had surfboards in Utah
31. Going to the gym with two of my good friends almost all the time I lived here
32. Cooking interesting dishes from Brazil, Italy, or my head
33. Getting in only one really long term relationship and having way too many flings (not all regrettable might I add)
34. Holding Gladiatorial games in the backyard last summer
35. Breaking my hand sledding at Rock Canyon Park
36. Getting diagnosed with mid-thoracic back pain syndrome brought on by lack of sleep and stress (this diagnosis was preferable to the one saying I had a collapsed lung)
37. Draining the lizard for four minutes straight after a late night at some crazy girl's apartment
38. Being way to graphic and unnecessary in my descriptions all the time to make certain people (prudes) uncomfortable
39. Going to a lot of general conference sessions at the Conference Center and at great peoples' houses
40. Going running with a good friend of mine infrequently, but always with great intensity

Forty was way more than I thought I would write. There are of course a lot more, but some are more private, and the ones I listed omitted names, and interesting details. At any rate, I hope you enjoyed my reflection. I'm now going to post some random and irrelevant pictures.

First Snow: And brainwashing little kids

Well, I'm pleased to announce Provo's first substantial snowfall. We've got about an inch or two covering the ground and there are still some flurries shaking things up a bit as I write. The snow makes me happy, and reminds me that all of those Christmas movies with snow in them are still accurate even with the horrible Armageddon-like global warming that is sure to destroy humanity as we know it. 

But there's another thing that made me smile. I was watching a movie starring Daniel Day-Lewis and Emma Thompson called 'In the Name of the Father' which tells the story of the Guilford Four, a group of Irishmen who were accused of an IRA bombing that they did not commit. I highly recommend the movie. But the movie is not what I want to talk about. I was watching the film on hulu (an online aggregator of TV shows and movies made available legally online), and as I watched it, all of the commercials on it were sponsored by the Ad Council.

The Ad Council has some good messages, and some brain-washing ones. The one that struck me most powerfully was on global warming (Remember I was watching it as the snow was cascading down outside, as it still is). The ad had a bunch of little kids between the ages of probaby 5-9 who say the word 'tick' and 'tock' with cuts between the kids to make it all add up to this crescendo as if they're part of a time bomb. Then they ask the current generation to save them from "massive heat waves," "severe drought," "devastating hurricanes," saying, "Our future is up to you, go to fightglobalwarming.com, while there's still time." I was nauseated.

Once again little children are used as pawns in an effort to brainwash people into thinking the world is coming to an end. And it's all because of that evil, insidious gas called CO2. Yeah, that's right, the stuff you exhale every time you breathe is going to destroy the world for your grandchildren.

Here's the ad.

Here's my two cents: Fight the hysteria! Fight the real battles of AIDs, malaria, extreme poverty, water pollution, illiteracy, and malnutrition. Fight against problems that are proven, and that we can most surely fix. Global warming is not even directly correlated to man's CO2 production. How can you fight a problem that may not even be causally linked to man? Well, quite simply you can't. You cannot fight anything if you do not know what causes it. Do we know what causes water pollution? Do we know what causes illiteracy? Do we know what causes malaria? Yes. Yes. And Yes. Would it stifle innovation and cost an unforeseeable amount to attack these known problems? No. Can the fight against global warming say the same? No. Bjorn Lomborg gets the priorities right in this video.

So what is the solution? Better research. Level-headed research that doesn't politicize science. Saying that man-made CO2 will bring about the end of the world is as valid as me saying having a glass of wine a day will make you explode in 30 years.

Provo I bid thee farewell!

Provo I bid you farewell. Just like the Russians bid farewell to Rasputin. I bid you farewell like miners bid farewell to a decrepit mineshaft. I bid you farewell like a viking funeral. 

But, at the same time, I bid you goodbye like Murray does to the tech support lady on Flight of the Conchords season one: Leggy Blonde. And, in place of you I will party. Perhaps even becoming the Prince of Parties, as can be seen in the acid-tripping episode of Flight of the Conchords.

There will be much food and merriment. Turkeys will abound. White meat, dark meat, and gravy. Grrrraaaaaavvvvvvyy. There will be sumptuous pies, soups, breads, cranberry sauce, and stuffing. Lounging around will become my new and most favorite Olympic sport in which all I can win is the gold. Why? Why must I be so good at it? Golden turkey....Mmmmm.

But, sacrifices must be made. To get out of this place I have to take a plane. That flight leaves at 6am. So, I have to leave the house tomorrow at 4:30am. Seeing as I hit the snooze at least three times every morning when it goes off at 7:30am, it should be interesting. Worst case scenario: If I miss it I will have to eat turkey at some place other than my grandparent's house in California. Probably not the worst thing. The REAL worst case scenario: Sigourney Weaver wakes me up from my bed and tells me I have an alien inside of me. Only seconds later it pops out of my chest and eats all the turkey (One more reason to be anti-alien).

Goodbye Provo! I only wish it were a longer goodbye.

Upset at Presidential Campaigns and plugging myself.

This Presidential election season has not inspired me. I suppose it's not obligated to do so, but I would even go so far as to say I am beyond fatigued at this point, and indeed disappointed. The methods employed by both campaigns were shoddy and only they only feigned accountability and decency from time to time. The press pretty much shot itself in the foot with its fiendish diagnosis of one side, while almost entirely ignoring anything even remotely detrimental from the other. I believe in tough journalism, but it needs to be equally tough and effacing for both parties. Our press has become so sensationalized and subjective it has caused an uproar among its own. 

Here's a great article on it from ABC news columnist Michael S. Malone.

That being said, I will be glad on November 5th. I will be able to write about other things. I will be able to write about defiant garbage collectors, toothpaste, writer's block, provo dating scenes, manly men, global cooling, cranberries, eco-cars, wo-men, girlfriends, new housing market options, potatoes, the Chinese, taking naps, etc., etc., etc.

Yes, I just plugged my own blog. And, I'm patting myself on the back now. Thank you. 

Always Leaving

The truth is, not matter how long you stay, no matter where you go, or what you do, everybody leaves. They leave when they graduate from high school, college, when they change jobs, when they go into witness protection, and when they're on the run from the law. Everybody leaves. And it can be sad, and it can be happy, and it can be bittersweet. But even those people who stick around in the same town their whole life leave.  It begins with life and ends with death. "Easy come, easy go, a little high, a little low...any way the wind blows" as Queen says, and I'm sure Pocahontas from the Disney animated feature would agree.

And in my case I can't wait to leave sometimes, and other times I wish I could stay forever. Well, in Provo it has never been the latter. I will not really miss the place. Sure I'll miss some friends, but the place has been anything but cool. I've had some good memories, good times, and enjoyed myself on occasion, but to be honest, most of the good friends I've made here at school have been from Pennsylvania, Idaho, California, Minnesota, Ohio, Virginia, and even my home state Massachusetts.  But I find it odd that while in Utah I'm chillin' with out-of-staters like myself. It must be a sign. I have a higher calling. When I leave here I will shed no tears, but rather put on a smile, and throw a huge rager.  Then I'm out.

The Rain

Today it is raining. Well, as I write this the rain is actually puttering to a stop. And, I'm really not surprised. Utah is mostly high desert. I'd say it gets more rain than most deserts, especially in the valley, but it is a desert nonetheless. Rain here is not like rain in Boston or DC, or anywhere east really. Generally it rains for a couple minutes or hours and then its done. Some might like this. To me, it's just a tease. Back home in Duxbury Massachusetts, or in Vienna Virginia, when it rains, it pours. You'll have rain all day, or a whole week at a time. And, you can expect a good storm once a week, or once every two weeks. Out here in Utah, if rain comes you might start to believe it's the second coming, only to be disappointed to learn that it was a false alarm.


I know some people say, "I hate the rain." Well to those people I say, "You're dumb." I was actually going to say something far more biting, but I thought against it. I'm sure people from Seattle get bored with it. However, at the same time it is refreshing. The smell of rain and wet ground is unmatched. The sound of rain, and the way it brings out colors is sweet to the senses. And, I remember a number of times when I was curled up under a blanket on my back porch listening to the thunder and watching the show from a rocking chair. I have ambient sounds of rain and storms (along with the ocean and rainforest) on my computer, and I used to nap to it all the time my freshman year of college. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I need rain. I need green. I want my Nor'easters. I guess what I want is to be back on the east coast.

The Provo Divide

In the town of Provo there is a great divide.

I have spoken of it on many occasions with many friends. In Provo, and especially around Brigham Young University, there are a lot of young, college-aged types who are looking for a good education, maybe some work, and a good time. Rarely, do they get all three. And if they do, they are the lucky ones.

As a college town, you might expect there to be a lot of students. This is true. But BYU is not the only school here. There is UVSC (Soon to be UVU), along with many beauty schools and other schools I've never heard of. So, the pond is stocked full of tons of fish. You might think, "Well that's good. If you have lots of fish, you have a lot more options." True. But everyone thinks that way and it creates a mindset that is detrimental to anyone ever getting anywhere in life (socially speaking). With so many options girls and guys around here tend to be either extremely non-committal, or way too committal. The first mindset happens because the first group sees so many options, they become fickle, picky, stupid, and like playing games and become worthless flakes, and the second mindset happens because once the other group finds someone, they cling to them for dear life out of insecurity of the system regardless if the person is an absolute monstrosity. So if that's all we've got, it leads me to wonder, what about the middle? Are you telling me (or am I telling myself) that people either play the field or get married after 6 weeks? Yes. The middle is nearly non-existent.

And, that middle has the only people with any common sense. This middle believes that you can date someone to get to know them and see if something more is there without thinking of long-term all the time. The middle believes that you should date whoever you want, but that being on two dates together does not make you a couple. The middle dates for the sake of dating. And, learns about people, relationships, and what they want out of life in a normal way. They are the balance. But, where are they? Well they have fallen into the Provo divide. Into the deep chasm that is or was the normal way to interact. I am one of them. I am not super-committal (I'm not looking to get married after a couple days or weeks of knowing someone), and I'm not a flake (I don't get interested in one girl on one day and then totally psych myself out, convince myself she's ugly, stupid or uninterested and move on to my back log of other potentials). So where do I fit here? That's a good question. Perhaps I just need to go back to the real world (like any place outside of Utah).

Back in Provo

I think you need some pictures. I was on the road, blogging from my cell phone, and my camera sucks so you got what you got. Now that I'm back in P-town (not Provincetown mind you, but Provo), I have all the amenities once again. Here's the list of amazing amenities that I may or may not have taken for granted:


This example is still not as big as mine.

1. My massive front window
2. Consistent wi-fi
3. A couch where I can sit
4. My own bed
5. A shower and bathroom only steps away
6. My aesthetically pleasing house plants
7. The possibility of meeting an attractive girl (that I could actually get in a relationship with)
8. My DVD collection
9. My front porch
10. My neighbors
11. That's it.

So I'm glad to be back. In a home where I can take a breather and not have my style cramped by 5 x 8 (the size of the car's cabin). I now can see the value of an RV or larger vehicle. And now if I flirt with girls, I can actually see them after that initial interaction as opposed to leaving them in whatever podunk town they live in out in California. Yeah, Provo is good.


That's me with the big hair.