Art Or Crap?

There I was. Standing in the bathroom of a little restaurant called 'Breakfast Club' in Mammoth Lakes, California, relieving myself while staring at a clever bit of graffiti on the toilet paper dispenser. It said 'Cruz Control', but spelled in such a way that the 'cruise' part was written like someone's last name rather than the feature found in most cars.

Graffiti in public restrooms is one of those things I've tried to wrap my head around for some time now. I mean, as cool as it is to chisel nonsensical symbols and misspelt words on toilet seats, mirrors, toilet paper dispensers and trash cans, I don't quite understand the allure. Maybe I just need to embrace the subculture.

Maybe I could be a leader among them. I could start an underground public toilet graffiti gang and call myself Muad' Dib. Then we could ransack whole towns, pillaging and defacing all of their public restrooms, wreaking untold havoc and creating fear and panic among the citizenry.

Soon they will all fear Cruz Control.

Muahahaha.

Why not?

Sometimes this is the best way to talk to your parents.

Agreed, but bad punctuation.

Did I "borrow" this picture from Flickr? Yes. Is it worth it even with that annoying line though it? Absolutely.

The illusion of neutrality: Gay Marriage

Ok, I am going to take a slight detour from the typical satirical hilarity for a moment to give a little social commentary. I hope to make it brief and elicit some good responses.

I've been mulling over the issues of freedom of religion and individual liberty and how the state fits into it all for sometime. Issues that you might recall as being particularly divisive and even polemic are prayer in schools, the pledge of allegiance, and gay marriage. The one that has lately received the most attention is the latter. California's proposition 8 was covered a great deal by the press, and it's almost all I've heard any significant conversation revert to in recent weeks. For those of you who either live under a rock, in a shack in northern Canada, or are no longer living, Prop 8 was a legal amendment to California's state constitution that defined marriage legally between a man and a woman.

Even with Obama carrying the state of California, and California being a blue state since the 1980s, the Proposition was ratified with a 52%-48% vote. It was a tighter vote than it was for similar laws in Florida and Arizona because it was California, and because California's gay community is much more vocal, numerous and affluent than in those states. The proposition's acceptance makes California the 30th state in the union to enact a law defining marriage between a man and a woman (so this is not some amazing fluke).

Now here's where I'm going to weigh in. The argument of the gay community and those who are calling for equality claim that religious institutions like the LDS (Mormon) Church and the Catholic Church are trying to impose their morality on them. Well, I do not disagree. They are. It is in their interest to do so. The state is what allows them to operate on a legal basis. If the state sanctions gay marriage it affects the status of any LDS or Catholic institution, be it a private high school, a hospital, or a university. The government could quite easily tell the churches that they could not discriminate on sexual orientation, and could also tell the church they must marry homosexuals or be deprived tax exempt status, or be completely shut down for being unfair. But, lest we forget there are other rights at stake here.

The state sanctioning gay marriage limits the religious community's right to practice as it chooses. So it is freedom of religion versus freedom of the individual. But many people are led to believe that we can get along fine with a "live and let live" society. Or, in other words, whatever my neighbor does and believes is fine and equally valid as what I believe. The problem inherent in that sort of delusion is that both cannot be equally valid. If that were the case, neither would be worth a trough of pig feed. There need to be moral lines that our government draws. When people say, "morality doesn't belong in politics" they neglect the fact that by imposing this idea of a false neutrality, they are imposing a morality. 

It's the same as saying science can self-regulate. People believe that it is completely objective and neutral. However, if science were truly neutral, then it would need a guiding force outside of itself to help it decide what, how, when, and why it studies what it does on a moral basis. And, I would argue that it does. However, there are certain scientists, be them sociologists, biologists, or astrophysicists who believe that science should be autonomous from moral questions and philosophy. Well, as soon as it becomes autonomous, it must create its own morality, which, in the case of science is efficiency and predictability. Its morality becomes utilitarian. It begins to assign value to life based on utility (and I don't think I need to elucidate the path where that leads).

So how does this affect the gay marriage question? Quite simply. The argument that religion is imposing its values and beliefs on society and the state are valid, but so is the argument in the converse. By allowing gay marriage, the state is putting a moral stamp on that particular lifestyle choice (I know that's a can of worms because there are those who do not choose to be gay), and saying that it is on par with heterosexual marriage. This permits the state to limit the freedom of religions within their own sphere, and allows public entities like schools and state agencies to impose the gay marriage view on those who enter in them. 

For instance, Kindergardeners would be required to learn about alternate lifestyles and that Steve and his partner Dan are completely within their moral right to have a child, and are a happy wholesome family. Gender roles, and traditional family are no longer concrete. Children run home to their parents with questions like, "I thought families have a mommy and daddy, but at school they say you can have two daddies. Why don't I have two daddies?" Of course the parents can educate and reassure their children with their own private moral view, but the influence of the state has a dramatic effect on the children. The ability for the parents to teach and be responsible for the upbringing of their children is undermined. There is no way to opt out of this type of education. It is the law.

What gay marriage does is it denies freedom at the cost of "equality." But, it is not the only place that this is happening. The push to equality at all costs leads to an ever stronger, more powerful, centralized state. People who are unequal mentally, physically, monetarily all believe they have a fair grievance, and the only one who can flatten society is government. 

This tendency ignores the fact that people are different. Some are born smart, some are born stupid. Some are born with athletic prowess, others are not. Some are born to wealthy parents, others are not. These are things that differentiate us. Is it fair that Michael Jordan was an amazing basketball player, and I am not? No. But I don't want the government to change it. And, not to jump into another can of worms, but with biotechnology and eugenics, soon I may be able to have designer children who can jump higher, run faster, learn more, and be greater people. Of course this would be expensive, and it wouldn't be just and equal only for the wealthy to be able to have designer kids, so the government would subsidize gene therapy and enhancement. But then, after everyone's children were maximized, everyone would be the same. There would be nothing more that could be done to equalize. We'd be a bunch of identical, un-individuals. And yeah, that's what I want.

Welcome to Visalia Municipal Airport

I am currently sitting at Visalia Municipal Airport. We're not talking about Phoenix, LAX, Boston Logan or even Salt Lake International. We're talking Visalia Municipal. 

On the wall is a framed photo of a man with a cowboy hat leaning on an old biplane. Underneath the picture is a plaque on which the following is written:

SOL SWEET

FOUNDER OF THE VISALIA AIRPORT - 1927

"SOL WAS ONE OF A KIND, A GREAT AND MORAL MAN."

- NORMAN "SUNNY" SUNSTROM

I'm dead serious. Underneath it are two drinking fountains. This place was so busy, I had to ring a bell to get service and am pretty sure I interrupted either a birthday party in the back or a game of gin rummy.

The room is partitioned by a wall with a bunch of windows. On the other side is the x-ray machine and metal detector. On the partition is a sign that says: Be Vigilant. Oh yeah. I'm vigilant. Don't worry. I'll stop all those crazy jihadist farmers who want to take out their neighbor's orange grove.

Provo I bid thee farewell!

Provo I bid you farewell. Just like the Russians bid farewell to Rasputin. I bid you farewell like miners bid farewell to a decrepit mineshaft. I bid you farewell like a viking funeral. 

But, at the same time, I bid you goodbye like Murray does to the tech support lady on Flight of the Conchords season one: Leggy Blonde. And, in place of you I will party. Perhaps even becoming the Prince of Parties, as can be seen in the acid-tripping episode of Flight of the Conchords.

There will be much food and merriment. Turkeys will abound. White meat, dark meat, and gravy. Grrrraaaaaavvvvvvyy. There will be sumptuous pies, soups, breads, cranberry sauce, and stuffing. Lounging around will become my new and most favorite Olympic sport in which all I can win is the gold. Why? Why must I be so good at it? Golden turkey....Mmmmm.

But, sacrifices must be made. To get out of this place I have to take a plane. That flight leaves at 6am. So, I have to leave the house tomorrow at 4:30am. Seeing as I hit the snooze at least three times every morning when it goes off at 7:30am, it should be interesting. Worst case scenario: If I miss it I will have to eat turkey at some place other than my grandparent's house in California. Probably not the worst thing. The REAL worst case scenario: Sigourney Weaver wakes me up from my bed and tells me I have an alien inside of me. Only seconds later it pops out of my chest and eats all the turkey (One more reason to be anti-alien).

Goodbye Provo! I only wish it were a longer goodbye.

Props to the Prop that's propping the Prop

(Sasha Baron Cohen (Borat) crashes the party)

Out here in Provo, and I'm sure in other cities, counties, and states people have been promoting ballot initiatives. But, the interesting part for me is how many people here have no idea what initiatives or representatives are on their local ballot, but yet are deeply informed about California's ballot propositions. And, particularly prop 8. 

I am not saying that you cannot, nor should not be interested in other states' initiatives, but I find it somewhat hypocritical to be promoting one, while having little to know knowledge about your own. The argument could be made that I shouldn't listen to you on the mere grounds that you have no idea what is on your own ballot. Of course I don't entirely believe that, because your knowledge of local politics does not transcend your moral and religious convictions, which are indeed important. 

But here are some of the things that irked me a little bit, perhaps because of their zealotry, and perhaps because most of these people have never been politically inclined or willing to galvanize themselves over any prior issue, which may have had just as much import. These are some examples of facebook status lines and even text messages that I saw and received:

Voted! Yes on Prop 8!

Pray for prop 8.

Join with us and fast for prop 8

so and so has donated their status to remind everyone to vote Yes on Prop 8 today.

Yes on Prop 8!!!

hoping CA votes yes on prop 8!

is voting yes on prop 8!

*PrOp 8*8 pRoP

already voted Yes on prop 8 two weeks ago. And believe it or not, I'm not ignorant nor discriminatory... I even have two gay friends.

YES ON PROP 8! AND PROP 102 FOR ARIZONA!

reminds everyone to VOTE YES ON PROP 8!!!

VOTE VOTE VOTE! Mccain & YES to Prop. 8!!!!

is praying and fasting for the election. YES on Prop 8 and other important values!

Then there were people like me, who wanted to point out the perhaps unintended ridiculousness of it all:

Yes on 8... and 1A, 2, 5, 7, 9, 11 No on 3, 4, 6, 10, 12. Oh yeah... and John Galt for President.

And here was mine:

Michael gives props to props and those voting for props. He likes prop 345365462634523456345623.

So, any thoughts?

Thinking about retirement

I took a test yesterday that measures your calender age versus your "actual age." It calculates how fast you are aging based on your eating habits, exercise habits, hereditary diseases, etc. And, guess what? I'm 8 years younger than the calender says! And, if that's the case, I just got my license to drive a car. But, on another note, that means it'll take me eight more years than the rest of you to hit middle age. Here's a link to the test.

Even though I now know how young I still am, I still can't keep myself from thinking about retirement. And, quite frankly I don't really want to retire. All the men on both sides of my family have pretty much worked up until their dying day. It'd almost be nice to be able to mark it on a Calender so I know when work will officially be over (at least in mortality). But, I can think of certain work impoverished situations that I certainly would not mind.

I would love to live in a cozy cottage overlooking the central California coast. I would have a computer, some pens, paper, surfboards, a garden, and a great kitchen. I could wake up and catch some waves, veg out on the beach a little bit with my special someone, then come back home and write while looking out on the water. Then I could split time with my garden and pull up a bunch of summer squashes, cherry tomatoes, and cucumbers and head back to my awesome kitchen and whip something delicious up. That, to me, would be ideal. I would feel accomplishment in writing, and yet still be relaxed and flexible enough to enjoy my twilight years. However, what it would have to imply is that I am good at writing, and that could be easily debated. But, jumping back to this dream scenario, I don't think it would have to be the central California coast. It could be Cape Cod, or the South Shore area of Massachusetts. It could even be Nova Scotia. Who knows? I think you get the point.

Trying to be as pragmatic as possible, what is your retirement scenario? Talk amongst yourselves.

The Morning After

Today is like the morning after. The streets are quiet, the drunks are still konked out, and the merriment has subsided. We had to take out the trash and do the laundry and tidy things up a bit to leave the cabin this morning, and now I'm just idling by the Silver Maple again, waiting for the load of laundry to finish a block down the street. The vendors are mostly still asleep, and having already bought a Hawaiian backpack and some books from the library, I think I've done my duty.

Among the books I purchased were biographies of James Dean, Winston Churchill, Benjamin Disraeli, and Henry Kissinger. I also got a book on Australia circa 1968 (I don't think much has changed since then - well, that's not true, but it had cool pictures). The books cost five dollars in total, and the backpack cost fifteen dollars. I needed to buy the books to fill the backpack. Made perfect sense. Oh, and I bought a photograph of the Bridgeport valley with the sawtooth ridge in the background. That will be shipped to me, and in a week will cost me forty bucks, but it's signed and I'll put it in my room or office. The lady who sold me the picture is from Lemoore, California, just fifteen minutes or so west of Visalia where my Dad grew up and around which most of my family lives. So, the world grows smaller.

I have no real anecdotal irreverence this morning, but I'll fill your basket or bucket soon.

Yosemite Sam Angry at Yosemite for name infringement

I think you all remember the red handlebar mustached, midget cowboy from Looney Toons. His name is still Yosemite Sam. And, he wants the US government to pay up to the sum of 6,000,000 million dollars for the use of his name with its most profitable and famous national park.

Although he says he will take a check, he prefers cash. He also wants all coyotes shot in the park. That is the one stipulation that has made this deal sticky. And, as of yet, neither party will budge.

Some people who know him, like Daffy Duck and Porky Pig have encouraged him to drop the suit. Roadrunner and Bugs however are on his side. This hullabaloo has been going on quietly for months now and both the Looney Toons and the US government want to see it come to a expedited conclusion. For now we just wait.

Twin Lakes Escape

Right now I am sitting in a car parked next to a motel in Bridgeport, California called the "Silver Maple." You might wonder why. You also might not care. But allow me to explain. Bridgeport is the little town that is seven miles from my family's cabin in Twin Lakes, California. There is no cell coverage or internet at my cabin. Therefore to get online and check my voicemail, I have to go into Bridgeport. And, having done this before, I know I can tap into the wi-fi at the Silver Maple for free. It's not the best, but it works.


Now let me tell you why I love this place. My family has owned the cabin at Twin Lakes since the 1940s. It was built on national forest land so we send lease payments to the government every year (not always so sweet). However, because we are on government land there isn't the rampant commercialism that comes with private residences. There are no obtrusive satellite dishes, no sickly pimped out SUVs, and there are lots of trees and privacy. You also won't find any exotic colors and nasty lawn gnomes. It's just a group of subtle cabins that grace the lake shore. Now cap that with kayaks, a little motor boat, plenty of fishing poles, cozy rooms, a great porch, and big windows and you have a paradisiacal escape. All around the place are things to do or not to do. You could, for example, go hiking around the lake and mountains and head over in Yosemite, go fly fishing in the Walker river, go trolling in the lake, go off-roading, horseback riding, shooting, go to the hot springs, visit Mono Lake, go to Bridgeport, or you could visit America's best preserved ghost town, Bodie. Or, of course you could just sun yourself on the porch and read a book. It is a sweet refuge from the hectic world outside the Sierra Nevada mountain range. And, I invite any of you to come and experience it for yourself.

Civil Unions

Ok, here's a topic I'm prepared to take the heat for. I'm sure you're all well aware that in California the Supreme Court decided to legislate from the bench and say gay marriage is okay. Well I'd like to take issue with that. In my opinion, and in the written text of most dictionaries I am aware of, marriage is between a man and a woman.

Now before everyone blows up at me for being intolerant let me say that I am fine with gay people having civil unions with legal rights similar to marriage. However, my problem is in the wording. Marriage should not be used when referring to a gay union. It is a union, but not a marriage. It would save everyone a whole lot of trouble if that's how we kept it.

Here is the webster definition of marriage:

mar·riage
Pronunciation:
\ˈmer-ij, ˈma-rij\
Function:
noun
Etymology:
Middle English mariage, from Anglo-French, from marier to marry
Date:
14th century
1 a (1): the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law

And here is wikipedia's explanation of a civil union:

A civil union is a legally recognized union similar to marriage. Beginning with Denmark in 1989, civil unions under one name or another have been established by law in many developed countries in order to provide same-sex couples with rights, benefits, and responsibilities similar (in some countries, identical) to opposite-sex civil marriage. In some jurisdictions, such as Quebec, New Zealand, and Uruguay, civil unions are also open to opposite-sex couples.

Most civil-union countries recognize foreign unions if those are essentially equivalent to their own; for example, the United Kingdom lists equivalent unions in Civil Partnership Act Schedule 20.

Many people are critical of civil unions because they say they represent separate status unequal to marriage ("marriage apartheid"). Others are critical because they say civil unions allow same-sex marriage by using a different name.

Now that wasn't so hard now, was it?
Read article.

Nanatech

My Nana is a great woman. Born and bred in the heartland of America, Indiana; she knows how to get things done the Hoosier way. Nana's house is an efficient machine - it runs like clockwork, day in, day out. She is very kind, but she will not be crossed (nor should she be). But with all her organized ways and my allusions to machinery I thought of calling the way she does things something you may all find familiar: Nanatech. I know what you're thinking, "It's nanotech Michael, you're so silly." Well, I think it's worthwhile to point out the similarities.

When we say nanotech - we mean bite size technology.
My Nana stands barely 5 feet off the ground.

When we say nanotech we think of high tech organization.
Nana has the menu of every meal planned out for years.

When we say nanotech we inevitably think of ipods, microchips, and spider gadgets from Minority Report.
My Nana does not own an iPod and is scared to death of spiders.

So I guess that is where the similarity ends. I love my Nana, and I wouldn't trade her for any nanotech ever. I like my Nanatech.

Invites Around the World

Today I would like to leave you all with a list of places I have been invited to visit. I will put them in order first by number of invites, and then by desire to visit. What I ask of you, well, all I ask of you is where you think I would be best spending my time. Here they are:

1. Brazil (over 10 invites)

2. Hawaii (3 invites)

3. Australia (1 invite)

4. England (1 invite)


Desire to go:

1. Brazil

2. Australia

3. Hawaii

4. England

So I'd like to go to Brazil because I've been promising some friends down there I'd visit soon. That's an understatement. Every year I tell them I'll visit, but something comes up, and I don't have the money. With Australia, I've always wanted to go and I've loved Koalas, Crocodile Dundee, the aborigines and the outback since I was a little kid.


That, and it would be a prime surf venue. However, the invite was for Perth, and I don't know if the surfing is quite as good as the gold coast, but it has to be better than most of California. Oh, and Brazil is a good surf destination too. Hawaii of course then goes without saying. It has the best big waves in the world, and great surfing. My invites have come from missionary buddies, friends and family.

But it all comes down to cost. Right now I'm saving up for a car (because my last one was destroyed by a metrosexual. I let him and another friend borrow it while I surfed it up in San Diego. Long story.) I don't know if I'll have the necessary funds after the car purchase to go anywhere that isn't stateside, but I hold out hope. If I go on a trip with the company I work for now it could be a tax write off. That's a thought. And I didn't address England, but I'm more interested in the other three. And, don't worry I'm not really putting the decision on you, the reader's proverbial laps, but a nice comment or two of advice would be nice.