Need Somebody to Love?

I've heard from time to time, "I like people who like me."  And, it's never made more sense to me than now.  For years I've watched others chase girls and guys to no avail.  I've been one of those that chased as well.  But I've come to the conclusion that it's all a matter of timing.  If I like somebody, but they like somebody else, it's probably not going to work.  In the same way, if I don't like that same somebody, and all of a sudden they like me, it's too little too late.  What needs to happen is a convergence.  The liker and the likee need to be interested at round about the same time for anything to come of it.  That brings us back to the protective clause: "I like people who like me."  It works.

However, some people are stupid.  This should come as no surprise.  People we like are not necessarily people we will love, or even like, in the future. However, some people tend to think that if they are liked it's like a curse that can only be cured by them being a complete jerk to the person who likes them, by leading them on, or treating them like trash.  Then, of course the liker feels bad, but tries hard anyway, fails, and gets burned.  Then the person who didn't like the person all of a sudden gets a conscience and realizes they were stupid and turn around and like the liker.  Or they don't.  Either way, it's dumb. Games are not worth it.  Life is too short.

But here's something that I've come across in recent weeks that irks me.  I guess this might be where the maxim doesn't hold true.  I have been writing my blog, working, doing my thang, and every now and then I get anonymous love letters or weird off-color notes.  Now, if they were from girls that'd be fine.  But they're not. Gay guys are making passes at me online. And, I am not gay.  Not even a little. And, while I suppose it's nice to be flattered, I want to crush any hope that these deviants will ever have.  I don't play for your team.  I never will.  Get the #$%! away from me.

Making mountains out of molehills

A new way to give yourself and your life a new boost and a new image of self-importance has arrived. The age old phrase of 'making a mountain out of a molehill' has come back in fashion. Whatever your schedule looks like - be it taking the kids to soccer practice, PTA meetings, violin lessons, board meetings, or trips to Hong Kong - make it sound like you are the President or Secretary of State to your friends. Or, if you prefer Warren Buffet.


By doing so your life will start to become worthwhile. You can run around like a chicken with its head cut off and feel fulfilled. Because, hey, you're CEO of your World. That's right, you sure are. Not only will you start feeling better about what you do and who you are, but other people will start to be impressed.

They'll mill around asking themselves questions like "How does he do it?" and "Where does she get the tenacity?" Well, you won't tell, and neither will I. So when they ask you questions like that just say, "It's in-born. You can't teach that kind of success. She learned how to walk on water before she knew how to ride a bicycle. That's life. It's not my place to explain why some of us are mortal demi-gods and you are an untouchable. Just admire and make 'oooo' and 'aaaa' sounds."

Fledgling

Now it is time for our word of the week. And yes, I know I've never had a word of the week. I doubt I will ever do this again (blatant lie). The word is 'fledgling.' Here is a use: The young fledgling company was unstable at best.

Here's what Merriam-Webster says:

fledg·ling
Pronunciation:
\ˈflej-liŋ\
Function:
noun
Usage:
often attributive
Date:
1830
1 : a young bird just fledged
2 : an immature or inexperienced person
3 : one that is new a fledgling company

But something that occurred to me is that fledgling, when made plural sounds like something we on earth would be referred to as by aliens. Like 'We are coming to annihilate the fledglings!' However, I think there are a lot of people who could never be considered fledglings. For instance, Chuck Norris is not a fledgling. Jean-Claude Van Damme, Arnold Schwartzeneggar and Bruce Lee also fit into this category of 'non-fledgling.' I would like to think that I am not a fledgling, but then again I can't do the splits and knock out 7 people at the same time with one round house kick.









But then again, I am a young bird, and I fledge all the time.

New Eco Car

NEWS UPDATE!!!: A new car company that was possibly founded by either Koreans, the Japanese or aliens is making cars that drive themselves. They run on a combination of fast food grease, ethanol, lipo-juice, tobacco products, and rum. The interior is made of low cost bamboo mats and banana leaves serve as sun visors. The total weight of the cars is only 400 pounds. That means that after an accident, they are conveniently disposable. In fact, they are trying to make them available to purchase at Holiday Inns. They can seat 4 normal people, 8 children, or 12 ethiopians. The name of the car is the POS-Series 7. Many would call if the perfect POS ever made. If you are interested in purchasing one dial 1-800 326-2727. That is 1-800-ECOCRAP.

The Rain

Today it is raining. Well, as I write this the rain is actually puttering to a stop. And, I'm really not surprised. Utah is mostly high desert. I'd say it gets more rain than most deserts, especially in the valley, but it is a desert nonetheless. Rain here is not like rain in Boston or DC, or anywhere east really. Generally it rains for a couple minutes or hours and then its done. Some might like this. To me, it's just a tease. Back home in Duxbury Massachusetts, or in Vienna Virginia, when it rains, it pours. You'll have rain all day, or a whole week at a time. And, you can expect a good storm once a week, or once every two weeks. Out here in Utah, if rain comes you might start to believe it's the second coming, only to be disappointed to learn that it was a false alarm.


I know some people say, "I hate the rain." Well to those people I say, "You're dumb." I was actually going to say something far more biting, but I thought against it. I'm sure people from Seattle get bored with it. However, at the same time it is refreshing. The smell of rain and wet ground is unmatched. The sound of rain, and the way it brings out colors is sweet to the senses. And, I remember a number of times when I was curled up under a blanket on my back porch listening to the thunder and watching the show from a rocking chair. I have ambient sounds of rain and storms (along with the ocean and rainforest) on my computer, and I used to nap to it all the time my freshman year of college. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I need rain. I need green. I want my Nor'easters. I guess what I want is to be back on the east coast.

An Anonymous Death

Ok. I'm all for anonymous donations to charitable causes, and anonymous gifts to deserving individuals, but to an extent anonymity freaks me out. I mean, when you meet someone, generally you exchange names. To me, it's a little bit more than just a formality, but it allows me to say, "I met, or I know him/her/it." However, at least to date, I've never gone to a dinner party and had someone introduce themselves as "anonymous." Except that one time, and it was on his name tag, and he also wore a bag on his head and claimed to be mute. But that case aside, names are good. They provide comfort, not unlike a warm fire on a winter's day, or a lock on your front door before you go to bed.

Now to the point. Online people like to protect their identity. I get that. But I would prefer a lie than someone posting as "anonymous." I mean c'mon. Posting online is fun! Imagine how much more fun it could be with a new name. Let's say you hate your name, or, perhaps dislike your parents, well guess what? Now it's your chance to stick it to them. Those of you named Ug, Chesterfield, Nubby or Adolf can fight the system! Now Ug can be Sean, Chesterfield can be William, Nubby can be Chase and Adolf can be Bobby. Think of the possibilities! Liberate yourself and post with a new name. No more will you have to sit in the back of class and mumble when your name is called! No more will you bashfully write your name in size 4 font on the nametag stickers! No more are you Ug! Say no to anonymity, and live life with the name you deserve!