Cats suck.

Having recently cleaned up the sun porch where the family cat lives, I have come to the conclusion that I will not buy a cat. The room was full of so much cat dander, cat hair, hidden fur balls, puke, and dead rotting mice carcasses, that I nearly lost my lunch, and at one point or another, my will to live. Who ever said cats are clean is a liar. Sure, maybe they keep themselves clean, but that's it. That is why I will at some point get a dog instead of a cat (probably when I move out of my parents' basement).

This will be my dog:

Man Stroke Woman Again!

Well, it's been long enough in between appearances. Here are some little clips from BBC3's Man Stroke Woman. Enjoy!

My sister cried when she saw this:





Not guilty.



It's actually a very nice thing to have in a public restroom.

Soothing a Throat Near You

You know what commercials I miss? Ricola commercials. They always made me happy. It's mostly the Alpenhorn. Here you go:







Get a bag today!*

*Yes, I endorse Ricola.

Alternative Uses for Health Food

Here are some great uses for "health food":

Celery - Good decoration with flowers

Rice cakes - Make great coasters, and unlike bread, it is already hard without having to toast it

Flax cereal - Bricks and other sturdy construction materials can be made of your bi-products after consumption

Buckwheat - Can be used to stuff bean bags and pillows

Amaranth - Good replacement for quicksand in an obstacle course or slow torture for James Bond

Carrots - Make fabulous snowman noses

Beats - Can permanently stain your hands

Sea Salt - Great for babies

Happy Memorial Day!

I hope everyone is having a great memorial day. I know I posted about it before, but this day is a truly special one in the United States. Many think of it as merely an extended weekend in which to have barbecue with friends, but I would hope that many more know its true significance. 

Memorial Day is a national holiday in the US, and is designated as such so that we may honor those who have fought for our freedom and way of life for hundreds of years. We honor the valiant and noble young men and women who have donned the uniforms of our armed forces from every generation and every war - from the Revolutionary War to the present day wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. 

Our hearts go out to those who have lost loved ones, and our souls fill with pride and honor as we remember the great ones who have preceded us in fighting for such a magnificent dream. America is and should always remain a land of hope, freedom, justice, honor, and courage. 

It is such a simple thing in comparison to all that they have done - to honor their service on one day of the year. To wear the red, white, and blue. To wave a little flag. To salute the fallen, and to thank those active duty military members today. 

Today I helped coordinate the National Memorial Day Parade in Washington, DC. I think it was a marvelous success. All of the branches of the military were honored with bands, flags, musical numbers, honored guests, dignitaries and thousands of Washingtonians, Brazilians, Belgians, Kuwaitis, and many other nationalities. I wish you all could have been there, but I'm hopeful that you had your own parade or traditional celebration of some kind in your own hometown. God Bless you, America, and the Troops, both fallen and those still with us.