Saturday, July 4, 2009

Happy Fourth of July!: Independence vs. Dependence

Happy fourth of July! I hope you all are enjoying, or planning on enjoying some delicious BBQ with friends and family, then watching some fireworks somewhere (maybe even lighting of few of your own). But, let's not forget that while those things are fun, tasty, etc., they are not what this day is all about. This day is about independence. It is about freedom. It is about making a choice to believe in the unlimited capacity of the human spirit.
This is not dependence day. We do not need the government to provide us with internet, healthcare, retirement benefits, or anything but the opportunity to get those things ourselves. Tell me - was the iphone created because some lawmaker appropriated funds to some government entity and told them to create the world's coolest phone? Tell me - did the best computers in the world come about because of the government? Tell me - Did we become the largest, most innovative economy in the world because of government regulation and intervention? No. It was because of freedom. It was because our forefathers believed that private individuals live happiest and produce the most when they are not tethered to an oppressive government. That is why we separated from England!

In America everyone can be great. We encourage, and offer the opportunity from the bottom up, not top down. Stifling success to spread wealth and make everyone equal just lowers the quality of life and possibilities for everyone. However, letting people be free to innovate, create, be self-motivated, responsible, and allowing them to believe in themselves will make everyone prosperous. It has for 230 plus years. Let's maintain that trend.
God Bless America! Happy Birthday Lady Liberty!

Friday, July 3, 2009

Since I've Been Gone...

Today I am no longer calling my co-writers co-writers. I am calling them occasional contributors (those occasions possibly being Easter, Christmas, or when they take a new census in the US).

I am a lone man on the Satire Report. Even perhaps a lone wolf. 

Some interesting things to happen since my last post:

*The Chinese planted soybeans on the moon.
*Kim Jong Il turned into an immortal cyborg, using a nuclear reactor that was supposed to be used in a missile test.
*Lance Armstrong won the Tour de France 7 more times and then mooned French Reporters in Paris.
*Monkeys from Gibraltar have taken over the city, one has made himself 'Emperor of the Rock'.
*Joe Biden literally put both his feet in his mouth in a yoga class in downtown Wilmington.
*Nothing else happened.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Zesty Meatballs

Dear readers, I would like to invite all of you to become fans (if you are not already) of zesty meatballs. Perhaps some of you are vegetarians, or just don't like meatballs. Well, that's not the point. Zesty Meatballs need your support. Here's the link to the facebook fan page.
Support your local meatball.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Wading in the Velvet Sea

If you're wondering what I've been doing, here is the answer: I've been wading in the velvet sea. It's great. Nothing but velvet. And, I haven't been swimming, floating, or scuba diving in it. No, I have just been wading in it. You might think, "Well isn't that some metaphor for your unwillingness to commit to something?" No. I am involved in some highly committal wading. Velvet wading. It's a serious business. It's not for everyone. I mean, we're not talking water. This is velvet. Velvet shows no mercy. If you're not up to it, it can easily lull you into a coma. Not me though. I wade on, and invite you to wade with me (and Phish):