Monday, May 12, 2008

Spring=Global Cooling

Spring.  What a misleading word for such a muddled and ambiguous time of year.  In the spring it's not always particularly warm, and it rains a lot.  I like rain.  But it's not warm rain.  It's cold rain, and for a couple of days this May at least, it was snow.  I mean, it didn't stick, but it was not as pleasant as some springs I remember back in the day.  Before global cooling.

That's right friends.  Sound the alarm.  This is our new crusade.  Global cooling.  If it weren't for all of our potato, fast-food eating and overall flatulence and gas guzzling, we would be even closer to the precipice of the next ice age.  But, fortunately, the more greenhouse gas we can contribute, the better.  That's the only thing saving us from a catastrophic global freeze.  

Solar activity has been at a near standstill for several months now, and if it continues much longer, we're in deep doo doo.  So I encourage you all to drive more, burn mountains of tires in your backyard, start a cattle farm and eat more potatoes and fast food.  At least then, just maybe spring will have a little more bounce in it.  Maybe, just maybe it will be a pleasant 70 degree day, rather than 30s and 40s and overcast with a chance of snow.  If you aren't worried about global cooling, you hate the environment.  End of story.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Ha ha! This is probably my favorite post I've read on your Blog. Keep up the good work!