Indian Curry: A Cautionary Tale

Indian food is delicious. There is no denying that. They use so many colors, spices, types of fruits, meats, vegetables, and breads it makes every bite a unique sensation. However, there are drawbacks. Indian curry, when put in highly concentrated quantities often is something that should be admired from a distance rather than consumed.

Yes, I speak from experience. Indian curry is great. I love it. But it doesn't always show me the same good will and affection. Lamb Vindaloo sounds innocuous enough, but it fooled me. Teary eyes and regular visits to my friend lou are common if the curry is particularly strong and concentrated, and if I was manly enough (read dumb enough) to eat it all. 

So, I guess this is a warning. Maybe not just against curry, but against many foods you may love, but may not love you in return. Love's not always a two way street. Especially with curry.

Being Reasonably Unreasonable

It's been a while since I've waxed philosophical. I'm expecting some readers, upon reading that last sentence to be groaning. Just like when your mother offered you some new healthy food alternative or told you to do your chores. "Look, it's muslix!" Or, "I know something fun you could do - weed the garden!" Well, this philosophical waxing will be even better. Think eating muslix and weeding the garden at the same time. I bet you're giddy.

I will start with a quote from Lord Byron, although some people might argue that it wasn't he who said it:

"The heart has reasons that reason does not understand."

I want to let that sit. Like butter melting on your hot pancakes. Wait. Do not think yet. The butter needs to melt.

Ok. What that means, is that reason cannot always be the ultimate arbiter in human affairs. It has limitations as does everything in our finite existence. We often laud ourselves or others for their even-keeled rationality and careful deliberation, and lambast others who do not use logic to deduce the best answer. Well I'm hear to say that is folly. While quite often you might think that reason appeals to everyone, everywhere, all the time, the truth is, it doesn't. There is truth (if we assume right now that that is the goal of reason, to attain truth) in art, poetry, music, love, and irrationality as a whole. But I suppose saying all that begs another question. What is irrational? And can we at times act rationally while doing something seemingly irrational? The answer is yes. Because, while saving one's brother or mother from harm might seem rational, unconnected with anything else, if it comes down to saving one's brother versus saving an entire village, rationality would have us choose the village. Perhaps that isn't the best example but it brings me to an important point. The truth that escapes reason is the truth of the particular, the love of one's own, the value in honor. The truth that reason strives for is abstract, general, and universal. The problem is, we cannot reasonably say one is always better. Reason wouldn't allow it. Or would it?

I do not want to ask too many questions. But what I do want to point out is that passion, emotion, art, love, instinct, yearning and many more things fall outside the realm of reason and yet are just as, if not at times more important than reason. Being reasonable is balancing your reason with your irrationality. Here is an example that will appeal to you:

Let's say you go to a family reunion. At this reunion everyone poses for a group picture. In this picture everyone is wearing coordinated outfits, is smiling, and has a marvelously picturesque background behind them. The photographer snaps the picture. But, the picture doesn't really satisfy. It doesn't hold the whole truth, as truthful as the camera lens has been to its subjects. Now, a little later, a painter takes that photograph and repaints the family. In his painting little kids are running around pulling on skirt hems and a grotchity uncle is elbowing someone next to him, and Aunt Edna is sticking her tongue out in disdain. While none of this happened while the picture was taken, it more accurately describes the family, its temperament, and reality as a whole. Extrapolating from this example you can see how simple rationality does not get at the whole, or, gets at only the edges of the whole and not the parts.

Now, enjoy your muslix, and I'll be back in a little while to check on the garden.

The REAL Meaning of Valentine's Day

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Conspiracy theories? A dime a dozen. This Valentine's Day, you will get nothing but the truth. As it turns out, Valentine's Day was created to pacify another pagan holiday called "All Kill Day" celebrated by the Visigoths, Norse peoples, and the Druids. The day was celebrated by hiding from the violent God of destruction and/or killing things in his honor. His name later was changed to Cupid, or St. Valentine. His real name is Wrothtag. Wrothtag reigned over all the world for this one day, February the 14th, shooting flaming balls of fire from his slingshot and painting the streets of villages red with the blood of his victims (which non-discriminatorily included anyone, and any animal he felt like). The Greeks and Judeo-Christian governments of Europe later pacified Wrothtag into Cupid, or Saint Valentine and made him into a sappy love encouraging symbol to make people feel good. 

However, it's very important to remember the past. Wrothtag, in his infinite merciless anger and blood lust has sworn revenge on all living and, although anthropologists debate the date of his return, it could be any Valentine's Day. Maybe even today. My best advice is to run and hide. He cannot see underneath beds, large comforters, or when you are coated in honey or wax. Good luck and Godspeed.

Engaged people and ridiculous pronouncements

Having been through the whole "engaged thing," and having heard advice from every qualified individual I know, as well as being in a marriage prep class at school, I find it interesting how newly engaged couples (and particularly the girl) will say things like, "I've met the perfect man." Or, "How lucky I am to be married to a guy who's perfect in every way." Or something to that effect. They put those kind of phrases in their facebook statuses, paint them on their car windows, or gloat about it to their friends.

What ever happened to that very appropriate phrase that goes something like this: Before marriage keep your eyes wide open, and after marriage keep them half shut? Honestly, that euphoric puppy dog love phase can dupe you if you're not careful. You shouldn't just fall in love with your heart, and your eyes, or even just your soul. You need to fall in love with your brain too. If you think your partner is perfect already, you're probably drinking too much nyquil, or have only been in abusive relationships.

Perhaps you have met a great guy or gal. But they have faults. And, they may seem easy to overcome now because you aren't really together. You're just dating. There's no civil mandate that joins you. But, I guarantee that even the simplest of things can and will become big issues if you don't address them now. So just remember that self-induced delirium doesn't produce the best matches. Use your brain. And open your eyes. And, after that, God Bless.

Bombay Love

The city once known as Bombay is a beautiful place.  Now it is called Mumbai, a change made by an adamantly pro-India, anti-British colonialism political party.  I read most recently a fabulous book that took place in Bombay, before it became Mumbai, but it is still the same place.  In the city there are well over a hundred different languages and dialects, amazing food, smells, beaches, culture, and tradition.  The book that enlightened me to this place was 'Shantaram.'  I mentioned it in a previous post before having read it, and I am now following up.

Shantaram is now one of my favorite books.  And, I think that says a lot with the amount of books I read.  It is over 900 pages of brilliant writing, imagery, and philosophic depth.  It is a book you cannot simply nibble, but must savor and devour like a succulent and eloquently nuanced dish at a great restaurant.  And the theme that stays with it more than any other is 'Love.'  

In India there are more than a billion people, and not too far from now will surpass China in population.  And, it is about six times the size of France.  However, paraphrasing the author Gregory David Roberts, it is a tribute to the love of the place that they all get along with relatively few serious incidents.  Sure, there are battles, riots, etc., but over the years they have generally coexisted well with one another in peace even with hundreds of differing cultures, religions, and languages.

 

There is a part in the book where the main character is boarding a train to go to the country.  As everyone wants a good seat, there is pushing, shoving, and clamoring for space.  But, as soon as the train starts to leave the station people are calm and composed, offering food, kind words, and smiles to their neighbors even with feet in their faces, and overly cramped quarters.  In other words, there is order when it is most important.  If a similar size country had a billion Americans, Australians, or Frenchmen, you can be sure there would not be that kind of civility and calm.  And that is why India, and Bombay specifically, are the world capitals of love.

Need Somebody to Love?

I've heard from time to time, "I like people who like me."  And, it's never made more sense to me than now.  For years I've watched others chase girls and guys to no avail.  I've been one of those that chased as well.  But I've come to the conclusion that it's all a matter of timing.  If I like somebody, but they like somebody else, it's probably not going to work.  In the same way, if I don't like that same somebody, and all of a sudden they like me, it's too little too late.  What needs to happen is a convergence.  The liker and the likee need to be interested at round about the same time for anything to come of it.  That brings us back to the protective clause: "I like people who like me."  It works.

However, some people are stupid.  This should come as no surprise.  People we like are not necessarily people we will love, or even like, in the future. However, some people tend to think that if they are liked it's like a curse that can only be cured by them being a complete jerk to the person who likes them, by leading them on, or treating them like trash.  Then, of course the liker feels bad, but tries hard anyway, fails, and gets burned.  Then the person who didn't like the person all of a sudden gets a conscience and realizes they were stupid and turn around and like the liker.  Or they don't.  Either way, it's dumb. Games are not worth it.  Life is too short.

But here's something that I've come across in recent weeks that irks me.  I guess this might be where the maxim doesn't hold true.  I have been writing my blog, working, doing my thang, and every now and then I get anonymous love letters or weird off-color notes.  Now, if they were from girls that'd be fine.  But they're not. Gay guys are making passes at me online. And, I am not gay.  Not even a little. And, while I suppose it's nice to be flattered, I want to crush any hope that these deviants will ever have.  I don't play for your team.  I never will.  Get the #$%! away from me.

Narcissism

In recent weeks, narcissism has come back into fashion (not that it was ever out).  People all over the world are becoming their own Barbie.  Everyone has their own method for preening and gawking at themselves.  Some go to the gym for hours not just to lift weights and run on the treadmill, but to watch themselves do it in the mirror and see their rippling muscles bulge in the rhythm of popular classic rock songs.  Some people go to tanning salons, pools, or spas, and follow their visit by a self-stare down in the mirror.  When they look in the mirror they see more than themselves, they see a raw power that they own and control, and love.  It is perhaps a trend you might want to start.

People have begun to neglect their friends, pets, house chores, work, school, and other obligations because they seem more content to stare at their image in the mirror or in a car window, fixing their hair and making their clothes fit just right.  Some people have taken it to other extremes.  The blind are not left out on this.  They cannot see themselves, so instead, many of them record themselves talking about and to themselves, so they can later listen and admire their own voices and the amazingness that is only theirs.  

So loneliness has finally been cured.  For sure there is always at least one person who will love you, and, you have complete control over that person.  Give yourself a hug, a pat on the back, or rub your own head (and then fix your hair afterwards), because hey, you deserve it.

The Painted Veil

Last night, as I sat down to watch 'The Departed,' I came across a trailer that intrigued me. And, I wondered about it. I wondered because I heard little said about it. The movie stars Naomi Watts and Edward Norton. Both actors are terrific, and the plot seemed very well thought out. I won't bother you with the details (of which I know little), but it takes place in rural China (which is a splendidly gorgeous backdrop for any movie I might add), and it involves both Norton and Watts as a married couple. However, only Norton's character married for love. The other does not love him, and in fact, cheats on him. But then he tells her he's taking them to China to face the cholera epidemic. Of course, as you might imagine they must rediscover each other, and she learns to love him. I haven't seen it, but I was intrigued, and curious as to what other people might have heard about it. Here's the site that talks about it. It's out on DVD.

Let's have babies!

I read a story today from Gloucester, Massachusetts. 17 high school girls no older than 16 plotted to get pregnant and raise the children together.

Usually the school has about 4 pregnancies a year (which to me is absurd), but this year the number was quite a bit beyond that (clearly). And, if that weren't enough, one of the fathers was a homeless man. Unfortunately, this story isn't a joke. But, it left me wondering why.

Here's the answer: The girls claim to want to be loved unconditionally. So, they have babies?! Apparently they weren't thinking about waking up at 3am to feed the baby. Apparently they forgot about having to change diapers, going to the hospital when the baby eats a bottle of tylenol, or some of the other gloriously loving things babies do. Then I think about it the other way. If they are looking to receive unconditional love, are they prepared to give it? They have now put themselves in positions that prevent the children they carry from having a stable home to grow up in, with a father and the type of monetary and psychological support that a more mature mother or family could provide.

But hey, at least they have the unconditional love of a disenfranchised baby.

Like, Love, Just do it.

I was talking to a friend the other day, as is my custom, and I asked her what I thought was a simple question with an easy answer. I asked, "Do you have your eye on anyone these days?" Translation: "Who do you like?" And, her response baffled me. I mean, I suppose there were only two ways to go on the question, but I generally assume the answer to be yes. So when she said no, I had to pry. And, upon a little prying discovered she did in fact like someone, but denied the possibility of it working out to herself, so refused to accept that she actually had feelings for this person. It was a self-protective attitude, that in my mind is not really self-serving, or hopeful.

We all like people. From day to day, moment to moment. It can be a physical attraction, an emotional attraction, or it can even be a spiritual attraction. There are many ways and reasons to like people. But, there is a distinct difference in my mind between like and love. Like is not deep. Like is not particularly committal. It's not. It's the possibility of future love, if the other side reciprocates and things work out. But it's okay to like people without reciprocation. And, here's a jump, but it's okay to love people without reciprocity. It hurts sure, but that's life. Life isn't running around in cloven meadows with flowers in your hair humming Beatles' songs (as euphoric as that might be, and I'm sure some of you and the cheeba may have actually experienced it on a regular basis). So, if you are asked if you like someone, it's okay to say yes. What are you afraid of? There is no need for fear. Let your heart go. Let it be wild. Let it be tempered only a little by your mind.

Now speaking from the other side, it is difficult to like or love. But rewarding. In your own mind you know why, who and how you'd like to see it turn out, but when you try to understand how they feel, unless they are straight forward (rare in my experience), you are left writhing in ambiguity and uncertainty. That's why being straight forward is kinder for both parties. If you are unwilling to say what you think and how you feel, you are not serving yourself or anyone else. It can torture people that you may not want a relationship out of, but with whom you still want to remain friends. So, the best way to deal with it is to be blunt. Don't play the game. There is no need for masks and hidden intentions. Be an open page, and expect the same. But of course, don't be surprised if you don't get what you want. But, fortunately there are people out there who feel the same and it's just a matter of time until things work out. Above all hope. And just live your life.

I Love Big Hair

One of the joys of life that is simple and yet wonderful, but often overlooked for "more important things" is BIG hair. I know you're probably all thinking Afro puffs and dreadlocks or even Goldilocks. Well, I'm being more general. More basic. More obvious. I love big hair.



I know many of you women have discovered, after cutting all your hair off, that you are no longer referred to as "hot" or "beautiful" but rather as "cute." And in my mind...rightly so. The only ladies that can pull off the no-to little hair look are cancer patients and Halle Berry. For the rest of you, keep your beautiful cascading locks of loveliness. If it's too much for you to handle, and you wish you had been born a boy, so you wouldn't have to be the object of ridicule or the Goddess of Pantene Pro-V or Herbal Essence shampoo, tough luck.



Flowing locks though, do not have to be just for women however. Remember Duncan McLeod? The Scottish Highlanders are famous for their big hair. And guess, what?! I am one. So I am allowed, and should even be encouraged to grow my coiffeur even longer. That being said, let us remember Fabio. I can't believe it's not butter, and I can't believe you still haven't cut your hair after all of these years. Remember how he was riding a roller coaster at an amusement park and got hit in the face by a goose? That was a great story. But his hair saved him. It always did. It took the attention away from his squashed face and put it on his gorgeously conditioned golden locks.



You might ask yourself, what brought this post on? Well, yesterday I was transfixed when I saw a big haired Goddess walking down the street. I felt it only right to pay tribute.

Age Gap and Relationships

Is there anything wrong with a young twenty-something dating a mid-thirty-something? Should we balk so much when a sixty year old man marries a girl just out of highschool? Such profound questions bring to mind the taboo and hot topics of debate that have lingered for centuries. Does appearance matter? Well, many, and most would say it does. However, is it really our place to judge, and thereby demolish the happiness of others?

Honestly who cares if there is an age gap, or a fat gap, or even a tooth gap. Love is love. We should not seek to tear down a good thing. As I have said before, let's try the lace before leather, and try to love people across the board. Don't get me wrong, we don't have to love everyone's decisions. However, we can love them and wish them the best. Of course it's a ridiculously hard task, especially when that old guy's after shave smells like yak and the skin over his knees resembles an elephant rump, but still, we must make an effort. I mean, at least if it doesn't work out, you can sell him to a taxidermist.