I Love Big Hair

One of the joys of life that is simple and yet wonderful, but often overlooked for "more important things" is BIG hair. I know you're probably all thinking Afro puffs and dreadlocks or even Goldilocks. Well, I'm being more general. More basic. More obvious. I love big hair.



I know many of you women have discovered, after cutting all your hair off, that you are no longer referred to as "hot" or "beautiful" but rather as "cute." And in my mind...rightly so. The only ladies that can pull off the no-to little hair look are cancer patients and Halle Berry. For the rest of you, keep your beautiful cascading locks of loveliness. If it's too much for you to handle, and you wish you had been born a boy, so you wouldn't have to be the object of ridicule or the Goddess of Pantene Pro-V or Herbal Essence shampoo, tough luck.



Flowing locks though, do not have to be just for women however. Remember Duncan McLeod? The Scottish Highlanders are famous for their big hair. And guess, what?! I am one. So I am allowed, and should even be encouraged to grow my coiffeur even longer. That being said, let us remember Fabio. I can't believe it's not butter, and I can't believe you still haven't cut your hair after all of these years. Remember how he was riding a roller coaster at an amusement park and got hit in the face by a goose? That was a great story. But his hair saved him. It always did. It took the attention away from his squashed face and put it on his gorgeously conditioned golden locks.



You might ask yourself, what brought this post on? Well, yesterday I was transfixed when I saw a big haired Goddess walking down the street. I felt it only right to pay tribute.

Potato Fun

As many of you may be aware, I have as of late been on a strict potato diet. And, by strict I don't mean just potatoes although that is generally what 'strict' implies. I have been eating them just about everyday with ranch and BBQ sauce or butter and salt and pepper and it's been a welcome food for many reasons, most of all taste. Potatoes contain iron, vitamin A, C and some Bs as well as protein. They say eating a lot of them will make you fat, but I tend to think the contrary is true. In fact, I think I have lost fat since I went on my potato diet. However, there always is a but. As cheap, delicious and even healthful as potatoes are, they have their drawbacks. And some might know the biggest one. Flatulence. Now I'm sure there are those of you who love flatulence and having the ability to make your own body tuba music, but for those of us who every now and then like to sit down with friends and maybe even go on the occasional date, it's not quite so appealing. I honestly don't know what it is that make potatoes so gas prone, but I know that they are and if you're going to eat them, you must live with the consequences. While of course a gaseous exclamation every now and then certainly can ease your troubles, I prefer to quell the beast whenever possible. But, at least for now, at the current rate of my potato consumption my room mates and friends are probably just going to have to buy more scented candles and incense.

Stereotypes

Stereotypes are unavoidable. And, of course, fun. But they wouldn't be nearly as fun or funny if they weren't based on truth. Yeah, we always strive not to label people, but what would we do without blanket statements and blatantly non-PC social commentary? Some would say utopia. I would suggest hell. But if you like hell, maybe it's one and the same. For instance, if I couldn't make a general statement like, "People who live in Boston are stubborn massholes," or people in LA are "fake-baking, bling-loaded chumps," how else could we address their social backwardness while still eliciting a chuckle? The fact is, people who get labeled generally accept it and laugh along with it. It doesn't mean they'll change, and in fact might create some pride in their mocked lifestyles, but at least it's been addressed in a way that is more enjoyable than the painful truth.

Humor?

Well I've been less than regular on this blog. But, with school kicking into high-gear again I'm just trying to get adjusted. And, to be honest I don't even know if I really do have any regular readers for this little diatribe spot I do anyway. Clearly not all of my wanderings have been satirical, or even good writing. But, I hope in general I have kept those who read this entertained.

On that line of thought I wanted to write a little about what entertains people. Tastes in humor. For instance, here in Utah a lot of people are attracted to the cookies and gum drops kind of positivistic mush humor that you might find on 'Blue's Clues' or 'Sesame Street'. And, when I'm really tired, or with the right company I might even manage to wrangle up a muffled chuckle or giggle, but for the most part I just don't get it. I just would rather leave PBS and puppets for the kids. My humor, as you may have gathered, tends to be observational, practical and has plenty of sarcastic undertones. Some may think I'm bitter or cynical, but my view is that if you can't laugh at yourself and the silly stuff that happens all around you from minute to minute, you're just not gonna last that long. I'm an optimist, but I don't think we need to put tutus on cats or talk like we're five year olds to get by. What is needed, is a vision. A vision of today, tomorrow and what could be. Always looking out beyond the next hill, bend or banana peel. And, if there's still some banana left in it, then all the better.