Need Somebody to Love?

I've heard from time to time, "I like people who like me."  And, it's never made more sense to me than now.  For years I've watched others chase girls and guys to no avail.  I've been one of those that chased as well.  But I've come to the conclusion that it's all a matter of timing.  If I like somebody, but they like somebody else, it's probably not going to work.  In the same way, if I don't like that same somebody, and all of a sudden they like me, it's too little too late.  What needs to happen is a convergence.  The liker and the likee need to be interested at round about the same time for anything to come of it.  That brings us back to the protective clause: "I like people who like me."  It works.

However, some people are stupid.  This should come as no surprise.  People we like are not necessarily people we will love, or even like, in the future. However, some people tend to think that if they are liked it's like a curse that can only be cured by them being a complete jerk to the person who likes them, by leading them on, or treating them like trash.  Then, of course the liker feels bad, but tries hard anyway, fails, and gets burned.  Then the person who didn't like the person all of a sudden gets a conscience and realizes they were stupid and turn around and like the liker.  Or they don't.  Either way, it's dumb. Games are not worth it.  Life is too short.

But here's something that I've come across in recent weeks that irks me.  I guess this might be where the maxim doesn't hold true.  I have been writing my blog, working, doing my thang, and every now and then I get anonymous love letters or weird off-color notes.  Now, if they were from girls that'd be fine.  But they're not. Gay guys are making passes at me online. And, I am not gay.  Not even a little. And, while I suppose it's nice to be flattered, I want to crush any hope that these deviants will ever have.  I don't play for your team.  I never will.  Get the #$%! away from me.

Like, Love, Just do it.

I was talking to a friend the other day, as is my custom, and I asked her what I thought was a simple question with an easy answer. I asked, "Do you have your eye on anyone these days?" Translation: "Who do you like?" And, her response baffled me. I mean, I suppose there were only two ways to go on the question, but I generally assume the answer to be yes. So when she said no, I had to pry. And, upon a little prying discovered she did in fact like someone, but denied the possibility of it working out to herself, so refused to accept that she actually had feelings for this person. It was a self-protective attitude, that in my mind is not really self-serving, or hopeful.

We all like people. From day to day, moment to moment. It can be a physical attraction, an emotional attraction, or it can even be a spiritual attraction. There are many ways and reasons to like people. But, there is a distinct difference in my mind between like and love. Like is not deep. Like is not particularly committal. It's not. It's the possibility of future love, if the other side reciprocates and things work out. But it's okay to like people without reciprocation. And, here's a jump, but it's okay to love people without reciprocity. It hurts sure, but that's life. Life isn't running around in cloven meadows with flowers in your hair humming Beatles' songs (as euphoric as that might be, and I'm sure some of you and the cheeba may have actually experienced it on a regular basis). So, if you are asked if you like someone, it's okay to say yes. What are you afraid of? There is no need for fear. Let your heart go. Let it be wild. Let it be tempered only a little by your mind.

Now speaking from the other side, it is difficult to like or love. But rewarding. In your own mind you know why, who and how you'd like to see it turn out, but when you try to understand how they feel, unless they are straight forward (rare in my experience), you are left writhing in ambiguity and uncertainty. That's why being straight forward is kinder for both parties. If you are unwilling to say what you think and how you feel, you are not serving yourself or anyone else. It can torture people that you may not want a relationship out of, but with whom you still want to remain friends. So, the best way to deal with it is to be blunt. Don't play the game. There is no need for masks and hidden intentions. Be an open page, and expect the same. But of course, don't be surprised if you don't get what you want. But, fortunately there are people out there who feel the same and it's just a matter of time until things work out. Above all hope. And just live your life.