Inducing deep thoughts and vomiting

Sometimes I wonder, "How can I best engage my readers? What polemic or ridiculousness will incite them to continue reading this? What topic will induce deep thoughts, and which will induce vomiting? Can I get both?"

I know when I look for things to read I generally like good titles. Like this one:

Jogger runs mile with rabid fox locked on her arm

or this one:

Dried Mushrooms may slow global warming

Whether I strike a chord with people, or just offend them, I want them to keep reading. I want them to think. I want them to get red in the face or flustered. I want a reaction. An anemic people produce nothing great. I want people to strive for greatness. They need to be charged. They need to believe in themselves. Of course I disagree with people. Even the most similar of people disagree from time to time. But that's not the point. I just want people to think. To react. To internalize. To digest. To push for change, or to hold on to tradition. I want them to do something, or do nothing, but for a reason.

And with that, here is a funny, but irrelevant clip from a British sketch comedy show called Man Stroke Woman on BBC3.

Engaged people and ridiculous pronouncements

Having been through the whole "engaged thing," and having heard advice from every qualified individual I know, as well as being in a marriage prep class at school, I find it interesting how newly engaged couples (and particularly the girl) will say things like, "I've met the perfect man." Or, "How lucky I am to be married to a guy who's perfect in every way." Or something to that effect. They put those kind of phrases in their facebook statuses, paint them on their car windows, or gloat about it to their friends.

What ever happened to that very appropriate phrase that goes something like this: Before marriage keep your eyes wide open, and after marriage keep them half shut? Honestly, that euphoric puppy dog love phase can dupe you if you're not careful. You shouldn't just fall in love with your heart, and your eyes, or even just your soul. You need to fall in love with your brain too. If you think your partner is perfect already, you're probably drinking too much nyquil, or have only been in abusive relationships.

Perhaps you have met a great guy or gal. But they have faults. And, they may seem easy to overcome now because you aren't really together. You're just dating. There's no civil mandate that joins you. But, I guarantee that even the simplest of things can and will become big issues if you don't address them now. So just remember that self-induced delirium doesn't produce the best matches. Use your brain. And open your eyes. And, after that, God Bless.