The New Pink: Dating a nerd

Everyone likes to be on top of the next trend, and for you fashionistas out there, there's a great one coming. I'm sure you've all heard that this color or that color is the new pink, but now there's a supplemental lifestyle change that is just as good as the next color. Forget about earth tones, paisley, skinny jeans, or over-sized sunglasses. The real next pink is dating a nerd.

That's right. If you date a nerd, your coolness factor skyrockets. The trend has been backed by some big names in fashion. The coalition formed to promote nerd dating includes, but is not limited to Armani, J Crew, Ralph Lauren, Gap, Gucci, and BGCG Maxazria. 

To become part of the trend you cannot merely pick up a token nerd for a week and dump them once your friends see. The relationship must last at least 3 weeks as prescribed by the coalition. Those who have succeeded in more long term nerd relationships are to be commended.

One particular success story comes from Oakland, California. Cindy Fox and her beau Sigmond Neuerbonsen have been dating for over a year now. Cindy said:

"I've been with Siggy for a while now, and I just don't know what I'd do without him. I can take him anywhere, and his shirts are always pressed to perfection, he always has a pen, and if I ever need to do some mental arithmetic he's there for me. I also love the way he stares at the floor and blushes when I kiss him."

When Mr. Neuerbonsen was asked why he thinks his relationship with Cindy has been so successful he said:

"I think she likes my fashion sense. I always wear plaid, and whenever I go out I make sure to put a brand new ticonderoga brand number two pencil in my left ear. She also loves riding in my bike and playing with the streamers and ringing the bell."

A scientist at the University of Pittsburgh named Dr. Theodore Melvin believes the trend is a step in the right direction. 

"When you put a good looking, shallow person's genes together with a nerdy person you get a normal person, and I think that's something society could have more of. On another note, I now have a girlfriend. A year ago, I never thought that was even fathomable."

The nerd dating trend, however, may be short lived. Some fashionistas have even started to exchange their nerds for shiny bracelets. Another possible trend could also involve owning lots of cats and buying an enormous victorian house in need of a lot of repairs. Experts are divided on the issue, and say it could go either way. 

Mary Newhouse of HOT FASHION, a new high end designer brand from New York said:

"No, the nerd thing was cool. I mean, I still have mine, but I needed to spice him up a little bit. I wrapped a blue scarf with purple sequins around his leg and I have him shimmy behind me when I'm talking to company. Occasionally I make him wear a mask and a feather boa.  And, I think he really likes it. It's a win for everybody."

Whether the trend stays, goes, or morphs into something like what Ms. Newhouse described is hard to say, but to all nerds out there at least they can take this olive branch and live more fulfilling lives.

PS - Bald babies might be the new black.

Stop and smell the Roses

Paraphrasing T. S. Eliot, we are becoming 'distracted from distraction by distraction.'  And it is a worrying trend. All the world is a stage, and there are no players. People are much more content doing everything and nothing at the same time. Children and adults alike have no attention spans any more. Fewer people can sit and be content reading long news articles, much less novels. And this ADHD society we live in is only getting worse. It's not like people don't have the ability to focus, it's that we're being marketed to death by the masterminds of distraction.

Every new gadget, be it the iphone, flat screen HD TVs, and every new program, from leopard to random applications for PDAs are pulling us away from reality. Some may argue, and perhaps successfully, that with the technology and information age that we are becoming closer, more cohesive, and we can absorb much more information than the past.  But, many new studies are proclaiming that we are being stretched too thin psychologically.  I read this article in the London times about it.  Turns out multi-tasking, which is the expectation and the most praised thing in modern society, is bunk. When you attempt to multi-task, you do a whole bunch of things poorly, as opposed to one thing at a time well. You are not more productive, you're not saving your company money, or making things easier on yourself, your family, your friends or co-workers. It comes down to distraction.

You get tons of emails, phone calls, text messages, and talk to people daily. You try to respond as best you can, but rarely take the time needed to do something thoroughly. We are all guilty of this. Social networking sites, (as cool as they are, and as much as I use them) can degrade and submerge the quality of our social interaction, and our ability to gather and retain useful information. We become so often caught up in the storms of gossip and banter that we idle our lives away while not gaining much more than superficial pleasure and a relief from our self-induced boredom. 

Life is exciting. There are great books to read, projects that need to be done in the yard, games to be played with sons and daughters, nephews and nieces, and every task deserves its own time and a high level of attention to be done well. I have always been and avid supporter of stopping and smelling the roses, breathing in the air, getting away from the world to understand it. If we can't take the time to digest our world, we'll just keep vomiting, getting sicker and sicker until we starve. We need to know the foundations that made what we have now possible. Works of art, literature, philosophy, science, and long books, trips, and talks are all important. We shouldn't give in to the whirling, spinning, superficiality and trendiness that is fleeting. I call for us to stop and smell the roses, and maybe, buy a few, or start our own rose garden.

*****

And, on another note, I leave for Brazil tomorrow, and my friend will be taking over for the next two weeks. I do this because I practice what I preach. It's time for a break. I love you all. Ask me to bring you back something, and I'll do my best (no promises).

Picture taken from this site.

Narcissism

In recent weeks, narcissism has come back into fashion (not that it was ever out).  People all over the world are becoming their own Barbie.  Everyone has their own method for preening and gawking at themselves.  Some go to the gym for hours not just to lift weights and run on the treadmill, but to watch themselves do it in the mirror and see their rippling muscles bulge in the rhythm of popular classic rock songs.  Some people go to tanning salons, pools, or spas, and follow their visit by a self-stare down in the mirror.  When they look in the mirror they see more than themselves, they see a raw power that they own and control, and love.  It is perhaps a trend you might want to start.

People have begun to neglect their friends, pets, house chores, work, school, and other obligations because they seem more content to stare at their image in the mirror or in a car window, fixing their hair and making their clothes fit just right.  Some people have taken it to other extremes.  The blind are not left out on this.  They cannot see themselves, so instead, many of them record themselves talking about and to themselves, so they can later listen and admire their own voices and the amazingness that is only theirs.  

So loneliness has finally been cured.  For sure there is always at least one person who will love you, and, you have complete control over that person.  Give yourself a hug, a pat on the back, or rub your own head (and then fix your hair afterwards), because hey, you deserve it.