Hot Rod

I just finished watching one of the funniest films of all time. The movie is 'Hot Rod.' And, no surprise, it was produced by Lorne Michaels of Saturday Night Live fame. It's an instant classic. Right up there with Tommy Boy and Dumb and Dumber. There was slapstick, awkward humor, Gob from Arrested development, Heder from SNL....they took out all the stops for this one. If you don't know the premise it's about a guy named Rod who basically wants to become Evil Knievel after being told by his mother that his dad was Evil's stuntman and died while doing dry-runs for Evil. He of course is anything but a good stuntman. And that's why I like the movie. He may not have the skills, but he has the heart.


It almost makes you want to be a stuntman...or at least watch more stuntmen do ridiculous things. I know I will definitely be watching this movie over and over again so I can memorize classic lines and quote them to people who haven't seen it so they look at me funny. Then, after a long enough time, the lines will start catching and everyone will be quoting it. But, only 5 percent of the people quoting will know why they are doing it. Such is life. God speed Hot Rod!

Like, Love, Just do it.

I was talking to a friend the other day, as is my custom, and I asked her what I thought was a simple question with an easy answer. I asked, "Do you have your eye on anyone these days?" Translation: "Who do you like?" And, her response baffled me. I mean, I suppose there were only two ways to go on the question, but I generally assume the answer to be yes. So when she said no, I had to pry. And, upon a little prying discovered she did in fact like someone, but denied the possibility of it working out to herself, so refused to accept that she actually had feelings for this person. It was a self-protective attitude, that in my mind is not really self-serving, or hopeful.

We all like people. From day to day, moment to moment. It can be a physical attraction, an emotional attraction, or it can even be a spiritual attraction. There are many ways and reasons to like people. But, there is a distinct difference in my mind between like and love. Like is not deep. Like is not particularly committal. It's not. It's the possibility of future love, if the other side reciprocates and things work out. But it's okay to like people without reciprocation. And, here's a jump, but it's okay to love people without reciprocity. It hurts sure, but that's life. Life isn't running around in cloven meadows with flowers in your hair humming Beatles' songs (as euphoric as that might be, and I'm sure some of you and the cheeba may have actually experienced it on a regular basis). So, if you are asked if you like someone, it's okay to say yes. What are you afraid of? There is no need for fear. Let your heart go. Let it be wild. Let it be tempered only a little by your mind.

Now speaking from the other side, it is difficult to like or love. But rewarding. In your own mind you know why, who and how you'd like to see it turn out, but when you try to understand how they feel, unless they are straight forward (rare in my experience), you are left writhing in ambiguity and uncertainty. That's why being straight forward is kinder for both parties. If you are unwilling to say what you think and how you feel, you are not serving yourself or anyone else. It can torture people that you may not want a relationship out of, but with whom you still want to remain friends. So, the best way to deal with it is to be blunt. Don't play the game. There is no need for masks and hidden intentions. Be an open page, and expect the same. But of course, don't be surprised if you don't get what you want. But, fortunately there are people out there who feel the same and it's just a matter of time until things work out. Above all hope. And just live your life.

Self-Prescribed Skin Cancer

It's interesting how everyone seems to want their "day in the sun." I mean, thinking realistically, the sun isn't that friendly. It burns us, gives us cancer or it scars our skin to a deeper shade that everyone seems to want. Little do we realize that tanning thins our skin, makes us more susceptible to cancer and of course, reduces softness and firmness, not to mention longevity.

The sun takes its toll on us. We get all red and wrinkly. Or, as some would like to put it, in order to make their stupidity more justifiable, "distinguished." Right. Since when did leathery, wrinkled, freckled, pock-marked, tumor-ridden epidermus become "distinguished?" In all honesty you become less distinguished. In fact, being distinguished in my view had something to do with doing good and achieving success through generally intelligent means. Somehow I don't think ruining your skin's health fits into that category.

Skin cancer aside, the idea that everyone has of "a day in the sun" is generally not so literal. Unless you're stupid. Which, if you are, I apologize. But, if you are stupid and are still reading this, struggling and grappling with every other word I commend you. "A day in the sun" generally refers to someone being in the "limelight" or getting their share of fame and praise for something they did. But why do we want so much to bask in the limelight? Why do we want to be lauded and applauded by our peers? Well, to be blunt, we are all narcissists. To a point. Don't deny it, you know it's true. The ones who are denying it now are only lying to themselves.

We all have this ingrained, inborn, innate need to be loved and admired. We measure our worth by what others think of us, from our hair and wardrobe to our speaking ability or wit. While you might think that other people make really good judgments and assessments about you, and you generally take constructive criticism well, if you allow other people to determine the course of your life and the level of your happiness you're going to probably end up one of two things. First, insane. Second, unhappy. Since it requires that one must be sane to have feelings of happiness or sadness, they are mutually exclusive. However, there is not a clear divide between sane and insane.

On that note I am going to make a blanket statement. People are generally insane. That means that at one moment or another, given the right (or wrong) circumstances any normal, self-respecting ideologue will flip his lid. For other terms see: bonkers, go mental, go off the deep end, lose one's marbles, one rachet less than the full set, etc. But, why are so many people ridiculously obsessed with how the world perceives them to the point that they lose their sanity or become melancholy and depressed?

It's our nature. But it can be beat. What it calls for is a resurgence of cold, callous, insensitivity. We need to be able to let stuff roll off our backs. We need to have thick enough skin so that when the poachers shoot at us on the Serengeti to get our ivory tusks, we can whip our tail at the bullet, turn around and trample 'em. We need to be able to laugh at angry hippos and crocodiles that want to dash us to pieces and store us on the river bottom. They can't. We are humans. We can eat them. The moral is more clearly delineated as follows: Don't get mad, get even. If the world turns its back on you. Turn your back on the world. When you get an 'F' on your report card, drop a little brown flaming bag on the teacher's doorstep. If they call you four eyes, tell them they have webbed feet. And then, to cap it off pour your school milk carton on their face, point, and laugh.