Good Blogs and Bad Blogs

I think, generally speaking, updating your blog is a good thing. However, some of the more popular blogs are starting to irk me a bit with the amount of updates and posts they put up on a daily basis (hopefully some of you readers feel the same way about this blog). I've tried to keep it to a post a day, but on occasion I've skipped because I'm just not always feeling it. Well, I'm trying to force myself to feel it more often (do not take that out of context).

Blogs used to suck. And, in fact, most of them  still do. That is, unless you are some avid personal historian who loves to hear the mundane day-to-day of several million less than exciting average everyday people. Thank goodness for failblog and awkwardfamilyphotos and lolcatz and satire blogs like the onion and this one. They will give you more than your fill of inane drivel and hilarious things that don't make sense. And really, isn't that what we all want? To be entertained? If a blog is not entertaining, why the heck are you going to read it? To catch up? To make yourself feel less guilty when your friend asks you if they've read your blog? 

For shame. 

You should read a blog because it is interesting, and because the writer is a) creative b) funny c) not going to tell you a play-by-play of every waking moment of their boring life or d) because you like the pictures/movies and random media tidbits. I hope I have done my job. Those are my two cents. Don't spend it all in one place (unless it is this blog), and then I say you read and enjoy all the posts, click a million times on all of the ads, and even buy things you find interesting. Or, you can do whatever the heck you want, which you'll probably do anyway.

A lovely sampling from failblog

And a great sampling from awkwardfamilyphotos

And a bit from lolcatz

And the ever so classy - The Onion

Shameless Promotion

There comes a time when we must question our motives. We all do lots of different things, some consciously, others almost by reflex. Well, some of you might wonder at times why I write so religiously on this blog. I am devout. Perhaps at times even more devout than some Hasidic Jews are to the Torah or Talmud. Well, there are many reasons why I blog, but I guess it would be best to let the cat out of the bag. I blog so I can promote my blog. 

I mean, if I didn't ever write anything, how in the world would you expect me to promote it? It reminds me of the movie Tommy Boy, where Tommy (played by Chris Farley) says, "Hey, I can take a sh*t in a box and stamp it guaranteed, but what are you buying? A guaranteed piece of sh*t, that's what you are buying." I have to have something to sell before I start selling. If I just kept throwing up the URL to my blog on twitter and facebook all the time while linking it to a page with a hamster running around on a wheel, people would start to get restless. They might even work up the nerve to buy their own wheels and run around in them to get out all their angst. So, instead of allowing that to happen, I write stuff. Is it good? Well, I'd say there's a chance. 

Like in Dumb and Dumber when Lloyd (Jim Carrey) asks Mary (Lauren Holly) what the chance would be of a guy like him getting with a girl like her. She responds, "One in a million," to which he responds, "So you're saying there's a chance?" 

So I write stuff. However, even more interesting than writing stuff, is promoting it. And, if I'm going to promote it, I might as well do it shamelessly. With that I mean ubiquitously and like a used car salesman. I don't just write on twitter or my facebook status, "Check out my blog, I wrote stuff." I write something more along the lines of: "Giant mutant rabbit attacks President Obama while he sells radioactive golf clubs on eBay," which of course actually happened.

But, beyond just promotion of my blog, I have, on more than one occasion told and even encouraged people to click on the advertisements on this blog. You might think my rationale for doing that is because I make more money. That's simply not true. I do it because every ad you click creates more jobs. You are supporting the economy, and perhaps even saving the world. One click at a time people. You can make a difference. And on that note, click on the ads, visit their sites, buy their stuff, and read my blog like it's water after a marathon. Read it like it's oxygen after holding your breath for 30 seconds. Read it like it's the cure for whatever ails you, because, it is.

This blog has multiple writers, but they don't write much

Dear Readers, 

I'm sorry that I am writing this blog post in letter form. Let me start with that. I don't approve of what I'm doing. I also want all of you to know that I have multiple authors on this blog. Unfortunately they only seldom grace us with their clever musings. You may notice on the bottom of each post there is a name. Here is a list of the writers on this blog:

Enrique

John

dreamcatcher

Jimbo

and myself, Michael Powers

Enrique has written 1 post. Here it is. To give him credit, he did have another draft ready that he never finished about the Montauk Monster. That should be forthcoming in the next year or so.

John has not written a post yet, but he has been the inspiration for at least one post: this one.

dreamcatcher has written one post, and it was great. Here it is.

Jimbo's first post follows this one.

The rest of the posts have been written and inspired by my strange mind. However, if you haven't read all of them, some are obviously better than others. On the right side of this blog you can check out the archives. You'll probably find at least something to laugh about or something that will make you think, or something that will leave you ridiculously angry or inspired.

Sincerely, 

Michael Powers

PS - I already read the book that inspired Rambo (First Blood), and am now reading Deliverance for my last class at BYU. Jealous?

How does he do it?

Oh no. I've actually run out of things to write about. This is the end!!! No more happy thoughts. Lost, Lost, Lost...

I am stuck between a rock and a hard place, and the hard place is another rock. Below me is a bottomless chasm of nothingness. I can't hang on much longer...

And look at that, I managed to squeeze out a couple sentences about not being able to come up with anything to write. I'm amazing. No, really.

I have talked to a couple friends of mine (some more friends than others), and they ask me from time to time, "I read your blog and I love it. How do you keep it fresh? Where do you come up with that stuff?"

Quick answer: Magic.
Real answer: Satanic rituals.
Another answer: Mexican jumping beans.
Bonus answer: I don't actually write my blog, it writes me.

So there you have it.

Public Domain

I have an interesting note to share.  As you know, I am quite fond of posting random, weird, but hopefully applicable pictures to this blog. To get these pictures I do a google image search.  I then link the pictures to the site where I got them from.  In my mind, it's free publicity for them, and I have a cool picture to illustrate my point. Well, recently I got a little anonymous comment from someone telling me that a picture I used wasn't in the public domain, and said I should contact 'so and so' to get rights to display it.  Well, I'm not about to pay them on top of the free publicity I gave them...so I deleted the picture and put one up that I believe was in the public domain.  But, I honestly don't know.  From what I understand, most bloggers don't worry a whole lot about it.  I'm not a picture pirate.  I am bringing your work to light for free, and linking it back to your site, giving you more traffic.  

Arnold would say, "Stop your whining!" And I would have to agree. Seriously.  My blog is in the public domain.  Quote from it as you please.  Print out posts you like.  Put them under your pillow at night for the satire fairy.  Put them in your family bible.  Have them reprinted in your local paper.  I credit the pictures by backlinking them, so I'd expect a little of that too, but my blog will always be free.  Down with the man!  Open source baby!

Technorati is suspect

Perhaps you have heard of this site called technorati. It supposedly collects and aggregates blogs and syndicated online media. And, after it collects, it supposedly keeps track of which blogs put links of other blogs on their blogs. Based on what blog has you on its blog roll, how many times you have been linked back to, or cited by a fellow blogger, they give you an authority rating.

Well, I'm going to come out with it. Technorati is suspect. I have several friends who I have put on my blog roll, and who have put me on theirs, yet technorati has yet to register that it happened. Oh, and when someone does that, technorati calls it a blog reaction. Supposedly the more times someone links your blog or mentions it the more powerful it is. So I've gotten a quite a few good reactions, but I know they are only a fraction of the reality. Perhaps we're asking too much of technorati. There are after all, bazillions (literally, of blogs and syndicated online media to keep track of), but stop spouting lies about my authority level. I've seen a bunch of people with the exact same authority and rating. Guess what technorati, 75 people cannot have the same blog authority ranking of 1,166,069th. That's not how rankings work.


And, another thing about technorati, it does not look very web 2.0 and crashes all the time. Weak sauce technorati. Weak sauce. Guess what?! My blog doesn't crash. That's right. Blogger and google have me covered. Eff you technoratpack.

Oh, but just to appease the morons over there, look at the top of this blog and click the link to add it as one of your technorati favorites. Oh, and remember, if you click on my ads, those weird people who sell lingerie and gay marriage packages make money (and so do I) so click on a few! (don't worry, it's not against my adsense contract to encourage you to click on the ads; it's an endorsement that increases revenue for everyone).

Who are you?

True story: I have no idea who actually reads my blog. The only way I have of knowing that people ARE actually reading it is from Google Adsense. But, all it tells me is how many page impressions there have been on any given day and how many people have clicked on the ads (great idea I might add). So all you people really are to me is an aggregate of numbers. I do not know your names. I am sure I know some of you, at least from the comments you leave, but others are mysterious.

I will never understand why my own friends will choose to post comments as anonymous. I would've thought that by now they would understand that I don't care if they agree with me or not. I don't get offended easily. Any publicity is good publicity. Any comment therefore, is a good comment. Have at it my loyal readers! On another note, this morning I was surfing in Carmel and my friend and I went to the old Spanish mission and basilica. He took pictures and I just soaked it all in. Now we're on our way to San Fran.

Top Blogs

Well, I don't want to inundate you with more ramblings...with flooding in parts of the world, I'm sure you get enough. So I'll just key you in to some sweet blogs:

michellemalkin.com
erinjarvis.com
thebigbags.com
gthing.net
desperateworkingmomma.com

Those are my top five.

Honorable mention goes to:

sayakapella.blogspot.com


Eat those up like a bowl of chunky soup. Oh and today is officially international naked day. It is not recognized by any government except the government of Michael Powers and Satirereport.com. But, share the magic anyway.

Omnibus Post: Touching it all

This week has been a blog post explosion. This will be my seventh. And, I'm going to address a number of issues. First, I have ads on this site. You might have noticed that. Feel free to click on them if you're interested. Window shopping doesn't cost a thing. I promise. I know not all of you out there are interested in mormon dating, lingerie, dog food or Barack Obama t-shirts, but maybe you'll find something that strikes your fancy. Maybe a site where Obama is eating dog food in one of his own t-shirts, on a date with a mormon while wearing lingerie. Weirder things have happened.

Second, I want to say that manly men still do exist, although they are scarce. And, you do not have to move to Montana or Texas to find one. Massachusetts is chock-full of them, as is Virginia, West Virginia, New York and any other place in New England. You've got a great history there. That's right, the men from those states defeated the British, the greatest empire since Rome. What did Texas have to beat? A bunch of straggly Mexicans. Not so impressive. Another reason the east and New England is better than either of the aforementioned states is because of our proximity to the ocean and the fact that we know how to live in it. The ocean makes up 2/3 of the globe, and Texans and Montana residents are land-lubbers.

Third, I do not have a great affinity for Cleveland right now. I am watching the Celtics vs. Cavaliers and we are down by 11. I effing hate Lebron, Varejao and all of their spot up jumping a-holes. It's our home court. We better eff 'em up good. As I have been typing we just cut it down to 6. Yeah B. There is no excuse for a loss. I want to crush those midwesterners and their aspirations to climb out of the mediocrity bowl. Garnett needs to step up.

Fourth, Ikea furniture is a joke. Engineered in Sweden, made in China. Cheap all around. People think it's cool. People also think McDonalds is cool. From time to time people are right, but Ikea and McDonalds lack class. Not that I'm the king of class, but when I break a cup or plate made by Ikea I don't really feel bad. And, I kinda want to do it again. I support America. I buy American when possible. To be honest, I'd rather support the Vietnamese than the Swedish. That's why I buy CK, Dockers, Kenneth Cole and Hilfiger.

Fifth, if you're gonna have a wedding make sure it's not just cake. I don't care if you have 10 different kinds of cake. I, as a poor college student, go to weddings for the food. And, if it has to be cake, there better be an attractive woman popping out of it. I need to be honest. I'm glad my friends are getting married, but I want to see a couple steaks, shrimp or at least deli sandwiches. I went to one recently that had nothing but sugar and fluff. Gag. I promise my wedding will have good food (if I ever get married).

Sixth, I'm sorry this sounds like a column of straight up bitching. That's not my intention. I just want to give you a piece of my mind. A hearty, healthy, Campbell's Soup, manly man from Boston who loves America piece. Eat up.

My Mom IS "THE Best"

There is a time and place for subjectivity. This blog is one such place. But today I will be anything but subjective. I'll just be honest. My mom is the best mom who has ever lived and will ever live. Don't argue. It's just the way it is. You might think to yourselves that your mom is better, but if we are in the 'truth zone,' or the land of objectivity, you know in your heart that you're wrong, and I'm right. Sorry, that's life. Some people just get nicer things, a better life, or in my case, the best mom.



Why is she the best? Well, I could make a long list like everyone else does on mother's day, but for a mom who has already attained perfection, there is little I could say or do that would make it any more real and glorious to have her around. The words I could write and the words I could say would not do the reality that is my mom justice. Let me just allow you all to be jealous. Imagine if you will, a utopian world and a perfect family. My mom would be the head of that family. That's right. Happy mother's day mom.

I'm famous!

Everybody these days is famous in the blogosphere. Wow, just writing the word blogosphere makes me feel like some cultish cyber-weirdo (well, maybe I am). Some of you may never know. And, then again, some of you are probably just nodding your heads in agreement.

So, back to the point. With the advent of blogs, podcasts, social networking sites and the like, people who otherwise would have slid under the proverbial rug, are running the world. Some people, and occasionally I find myself falling into this category, prefer to get their news from blogs rather than CNN or MSNBC. It's almost like a total system upheaval...and, I kinda like it. But that being said, with the good blogs come the bad/mediocre/crap blogs.

Now, as much as I would like to think that there are lots of good ones, the truth is that most probably suck and are poorly edited (Some of you are thinking, "Yeah like this one"), but believe me, there are worse. And, I really don't think I need to give to a list of them, they're easy enough to find. But, even though people now publish through RSS feeds everything from their baby's first poopy diaper to diatribes about the weather, they aren't really published columnists. Much less authors. And, although some are, rarely are they even AP contributors. Often they are computer savvy college kids, bored teenagers, soccer moms or the unemployed. But, even though everyone chips in their two cents, the colorful myriad of poetry, satire, ramblings and photo journals is enough to cause one to be ecstatic. Or crazy. Or both. I am not some amazing author. Clearly. I have fun with it. But I guess we just need to be more discerning, because, most people can't write for beans (or any other food-like substance). Just because I have a blog, you have a blog and my friend's dog has a blog doesn't mean we're awesome...well, if you're the dog, maybe it does.

Attention Spans

Well, I know that we all have tons of spare time on our hands to read inordinate amounts of posts, articles, blogs and the like all over the internet, but I decided I'd write a little blurb just to experiment with the attention span of any of my readers. That means I am making this post short so that you all can do those really important things like add ridiculous facebook applications like 'Knighthood' and 'What Beatles Song Describes Your Life Right Now.' Wait, maybe I'm the only one who does that. Do you want to know how pathetic that is(rhetorical, do not respond)? I think that daily I sift through hundreds of news articles, blog posts and facebook profiles a day. I think for sports stories I read anywhere from 10-15, for odd news stories probably 30 or so, and for the rest (politics, world news, celebrity gossip, etc.) I usually top the 100 mark. Now you might think "How does he have the time?" Well, it's easy when you have classes that so often bore you to tears and you take notes on a laptop. Not to say that I don't also take notes, but I've learned how to multi-task. In fact, my last post on this thing was done during my Political Science class on international terrorism. There is a blog to that here It's kinda lame and jargon filled, but it's interesting nonetheless. So anyway, let me know if this post was too long for you, and tell me how much news you tend to digest daily. Or just tell me how much you read, because I'm also reading another 5 books simultaneously and just finished 'The Kite Runner' by Khaled Hosseini, which I strongly recommend.