Awkward Family Photos and Alien Cats

I stumbled across this site and find it more than just mildly entertaining. It is called Awkward Family Photos.com. It's really phenomenally weird and eery, but hilarious at the same time (Sounds like all the things you ever wanted and more right?) Here are some of the photos, and one of the latest from failblog.org:

The finger.

Sporting their pet rabbit and parrot. Why not?

Freakiest birthday cake picture ever taken.

Joe Dirt's family.

Just me and a tiger in some local mall.

Do not get pictures taken at Nina's: Check.

I think I'm going to start "reporting the news" with weird random photos. And, but "reporting the news" I mean making up bald-faced lies that are hysterical, yet poignant and revealing. An example might be the following picture with the caption "Owner discovers pet cat to be alien after giving it a bath":

Bob Rothbart was a simple man, like so many are in this country. But, he had a gentle heart. On March 5, 2004 he saw a little stray kitten eating grass on his lawn. His wife was wary of strays, and said she was allergic, but Bob took the little cat in. His wife Cindy had this to say on March 16, 2009:

"I don't know what he was thinking. That animal was ugly looking. When I saw it for the first time I thought it was a rabid squirrel that had a strange tumor on its face. Bob was so trusting."

Bob named him Lucky. The little kitten Lucky grew and lived like a normal cat for years. However, Bob never did take his little fur ball in to the vet. He didn't know how ironic the name 'Lucky' would turn out to be. On March 17, 2009, Bob was let in on the secret. 

While washing his 1994 Dodge Caravan, Bob sprayed Lucky a little bit. When he realized Lucky enjoyed being sprayed, he took him inside for a bath. That was when he found out. But it was too late. Only seconds after the cat was soaked did Bob recognize the creature before him. His cat was an alien. Not only that, but little gremlins started popping out of its fur. Several of them immediately scampered down the main hall way in his house and promptly sucked out his wife's brains. Bob ran to get his gun and shot Lucky, but was mobbed by the gremlins while making his escape for help. His leg was severed and he received 70 stitches on his shoulder, but Bob made it out.

The neighborhood he lives in was put on quarantine for 7 months by the federal government. Bob lives in an undisclosed location under the witness protection program. 

"If there was one thing I could share with people out there from this experience - don't pick up strays, and listen to your wife. I sure wish I did," said Bob.

Tasers don't work on raccoons.

This is a legitimate news story that I had to share. You'll learn things. Important things that will help you later in life:

Raccoon unfazed by cop's Taser during wild chase

Oct 23, 3:40 PM (ET)

DALLAS (AP) - Police learned something during a frenetic burglary call to an elderly couple's home: Tasers don't work on raccoons. Police arrived with guns drawn after receiving a 911 call from an 85-year-old man who heard noises near his front door Tuesday night. Officers surrounded the house but pretty quickly - in the words of the police report - "determined the suspect was a raccoon."

In the meantime, the masked burglar apparently made its way into the house through the chimney. And that's when things got really interesting.

With officers in pursuit, the raccoon took off through the house, ripping up Venetian blinds, pulling down drapes, knocking over a lamp and toppling a flowerpot. Finally, Officer Daniel Ek tried to let it out the back door when the suspect apparently turned threatening.

"While unlocking the back door, the suspect ran at Officer Ek," the police report says.
Ek used his taser, but the raccoon ran up the chimney with the stun gun's prongs in its back. An animal control officer tried unsuccessfully to flush it out with ammonia, homeowner Bill Hyde said in Thursday's editions of The Dallas Morning News.

A neighbor helped secure the front of the fireplace to keep the raccoon from returning. The next morning, when the neighbor returned to put a cap on the chimney, the raccoon had escaped.
"He got away clean," Hyde said.

Attention Spans

Well, I know that we all have tons of spare time on our hands to read inordinate amounts of posts, articles, blogs and the like all over the internet, but I decided I'd write a little blurb just to experiment with the attention span of any of my readers. That means I am making this post short so that you all can do those really important things like add ridiculous facebook applications like 'Knighthood' and 'What Beatles Song Describes Your Life Right Now.' Wait, maybe I'm the only one who does that. Do you want to know how pathetic that is(rhetorical, do not respond)? I think that daily I sift through hundreds of news articles, blog posts and facebook profiles a day. I think for sports stories I read anywhere from 10-15, for odd news stories probably 30 or so, and for the rest (politics, world news, celebrity gossip, etc.) I usually top the 100 mark. Now you might think "How does he have the time?" Well, it's easy when you have classes that so often bore you to tears and you take notes on a laptop. Not to say that I don't also take notes, but I've learned how to multi-task. In fact, my last post on this thing was done during my Political Science class on international terrorism. There is a blog to that here It's kinda lame and jargon filled, but it's interesting nonetheless. So anyway, let me know if this post was too long for you, and tell me how much news you tend to digest daily. Or just tell me how much you read, because I'm also reading another 5 books simultaneously and just finished 'The Kite Runner' by Khaled Hosseini, which I strongly recommend.