Things to do with extra cell minutes: Fantasy Pet Hotline

I have a very comprehensive and affordable phone plan. I have free text messaging, data, internet, free nights and weekends, and I have a LOT of minutes. And, something I noticed in a lot of my bills was that I rarely went over even half of my minute allotment. Some of you would probably say, "Well why don't you just move to a plan with less minutes?" To which I would say, "No." 

It's not a matter of pride I promise. I like having way more minutes that I need because I know I won't run over, and, I'm still paying less than people who have half the plan I do (because I know a guy...that's all I'm saying). So, what am I going to do with all those extra minutes? Well, I've thought of some good ideas with my friend Severino*:

1. Start a hotline where I pretend to be a dog, cat, or some other animal, so that people without pets can pretend to have one. It would be like a fantasy pet hotline. (Severino also suggested that I do exotic pets like Ewoks, because hey, every wants an Ewok. And, I think even Ewoks would want a pet Ewok).

2. Pretend to be a pet psychiatrist for the pet hotline (because I am both the psychiatrist and their fantasy pet, I can always get the problem right). And the fee would be nominal.

3. Make a second hotline that specializes in robot animals. The problems they face are less messy and more technical. Robot animals might appeal more to the anal-retentive germophobe, or the very allergic demographic (And, for the record I can do an awesome robo-bark).

4. Set up a hotline completely unrelated to fantasy pets that would help people get over their fear of talking to prank callers. People could call up and I would prank them mercilessly. However, they would have made the call and so they'd at least think they were in control. They could know that a prank was coming (except that sometimes I'd just carry on a normal conversation with them to keep them on their toes, and then when they least suspect it WHAM! Totally pranked them).

5. Set up my phone so that all calls to a certain extension (8482-639426 = VIVA-MEXICO) would go to a 24 hour loop of mariachi bands playing during, after, and before a bullfight or battle. There would also be intermittent "ay ays" and "arribas."

What else would you suggest?

*Obviously not really his name

The Dew

They say you should never go grocery shopping when you're hungry. And, I would say you should probably never write about food when you're hungry. I fail at both of those rules all the time.

I know I've probably mentioned from time to time, and even just recently, that "hole-in-the wall," "mom and pop" type restaurants and stores are the way to go, and I still feel that way. National and even local franchises are good for a quick fix if you're on the go, but if you really want to enjoy your eating experience, you should go elsewhere. It's about ambience, service, feeling at home, and extra care in each meal. Such is the case at my new favorite eatery.

The Dew. It is just a half block from my house (which makes it easy), and it is down to earth, yet super chill. They serve Boba drinks (Asian smoothies with tapioca balls), sandwiches, salads, french pastries, and a variety of drinks (from Mexican Coca-Cola to Apple Beer). It is run by a former student of BYU and his Chinese wife. And, the food they make is great. I recommend the Lemon Grass Pork sandwich, their noodle salad, and a peach Boba. But, any combination will go down well. They have guava, passion fruit, coconut, avocado, raspberry, and many other exotic and delicious varieties of Bobas. And, for me, the most important thing is the service. They are very friendly people and are prompt at getting your order done. I've had a few moments to talk to the owner, and he is a great guy. If that matters to you, and you like good food, you should go there. And, it's cheap too.

Dew Address:

669 East 800 North

Provo, Ut 84604

Tel 801-822-1878

How does he do it?

Oh no. I've actually run out of things to write about. This is the end!!! No more happy thoughts. Lost, Lost, Lost...

I am stuck between a rock and a hard place, and the hard place is another rock. Below me is a bottomless chasm of nothingness. I can't hang on much longer...

And look at that, I managed to squeeze out a couple sentences about not being able to come up with anything to write. I'm amazing. No, really.

I have talked to a couple friends of mine (some more friends than others), and they ask me from time to time, "I read your blog and I love it. How do you keep it fresh? Where do you come up with that stuff?"

Quick answer: Magic.
Real answer: Satanic rituals.
Another answer: Mexican jumping beans.
Bonus answer: I don't actually write my blog, it writes me.

So there you have it.

The Taco Temple

The Taco Temple: California Fusion. For a moment I want you to imagine a taco. Now I want you to imagine the best Mexican food possible. Now, if that weren't enough, imagine ingenious chefs and fabulous decor. Then you would have an indescribably holy experience with large quantities of Mexican ambrosia. I had the honey Chipotle tacos with mango cheesecake to top off the meal. It was fabulous.

Towards the end of our meal a server came out to pick up our plates. He was wearing a loose-fitting button-up shirt and khaki shorts and boats shoes. I doubted he was a regular waiter and figured he was the owner of the temple, or perhaps...the Temple President. Unfortunately Gary the man (a friend of mine) ruined the facade when he asked him if he was the owner and he said he wasn't, and that it was actually his first day there. I was befuddled at first, but then he said he was friends with the owner and that he came over from time to time to help out; he had his own restaurant nearby. But in my mind, I met the Taco Temple President.

It was not the first time I had been to this great restaurant in Morro Bay, and it certainly won't be the last.