Shameless Promotion

There comes a time when we must question our motives. We all do lots of different things, some consciously, others almost by reflex. Well, some of you might wonder at times why I write so religiously on this blog. I am devout. Perhaps at times even more devout than some Hasidic Jews are to the Torah or Talmud. Well, there are many reasons why I blog, but I guess it would be best to let the cat out of the bag. I blog so I can promote my blog. 

I mean, if I didn't ever write anything, how in the world would you expect me to promote it? It reminds me of the movie Tommy Boy, where Tommy (played by Chris Farley) says, "Hey, I can take a sh*t in a box and stamp it guaranteed, but what are you buying? A guaranteed piece of sh*t, that's what you are buying." I have to have something to sell before I start selling. If I just kept throwing up the URL to my blog on twitter and facebook all the time while linking it to a page with a hamster running around on a wheel, people would start to get restless. They might even work up the nerve to buy their own wheels and run around in them to get out all their angst. So, instead of allowing that to happen, I write stuff. Is it good? Well, I'd say there's a chance. 

Like in Dumb and Dumber when Lloyd (Jim Carrey) asks Mary (Lauren Holly) what the chance would be of a guy like him getting with a girl like her. She responds, "One in a million," to which he responds, "So you're saying there's a chance?" 

So I write stuff. However, even more interesting than writing stuff, is promoting it. And, if I'm going to promote it, I might as well do it shamelessly. With that I mean ubiquitously and like a used car salesman. I don't just write on twitter or my facebook status, "Check out my blog, I wrote stuff." I write something more along the lines of: "Giant mutant rabbit attacks President Obama while he sells radioactive golf clubs on eBay," which of course actually happened.

But, beyond just promotion of my blog, I have, on more than one occasion told and even encouraged people to click on the advertisements on this blog. You might think my rationale for doing that is because I make more money. That's simply not true. I do it because every ad you click creates more jobs. You are supporting the economy, and perhaps even saving the world. One click at a time people. You can make a difference. And on that note, click on the ads, visit their sites, buy their stuff, and read my blog like it's water after a marathon. Read it like it's oxygen after holding your breath for 30 seconds. Read it like it's the cure for whatever ails you, because, it is.

Technorati is suspect

Perhaps you have heard of this site called technorati. It supposedly collects and aggregates blogs and syndicated online media. And, after it collects, it supposedly keeps track of which blogs put links of other blogs on their blogs. Based on what blog has you on its blog roll, how many times you have been linked back to, or cited by a fellow blogger, they give you an authority rating.

Well, I'm going to come out with it. Technorati is suspect. I have several friends who I have put on my blog roll, and who have put me on theirs, yet technorati has yet to register that it happened. Oh, and when someone does that, technorati calls it a blog reaction. Supposedly the more times someone links your blog or mentions it the more powerful it is. So I've gotten a quite a few good reactions, but I know they are only a fraction of the reality. Perhaps we're asking too much of technorati. There are after all, bazillions (literally, of blogs and syndicated online media to keep track of), but stop spouting lies about my authority level. I've seen a bunch of people with the exact same authority and rating. Guess what technorati, 75 people cannot have the same blog authority ranking of 1,166,069th. That's not how rankings work.


And, another thing about technorati, it does not look very web 2.0 and crashes all the time. Weak sauce technorati. Weak sauce. Guess what?! My blog doesn't crash. That's right. Blogger and google have me covered. Eff you technoratpack.

Oh, but just to appease the morons over there, look at the top of this blog and click the link to add it as one of your technorati favorites. Oh, and remember, if you click on my ads, those weird people who sell lingerie and gay marriage packages make money (and so do I) so click on a few! (don't worry, it's not against my adsense contract to encourage you to click on the ads; it's an endorsement that increases revenue for everyone).

Who are you?

True story: I have no idea who actually reads my blog. The only way I have of knowing that people ARE actually reading it is from Google Adsense. But, all it tells me is how many page impressions there have been on any given day and how many people have clicked on the ads (great idea I might add). So all you people really are to me is an aggregate of numbers. I do not know your names. I am sure I know some of you, at least from the comments you leave, but others are mysterious.

I will never understand why my own friends will choose to post comments as anonymous. I would've thought that by now they would understand that I don't care if they agree with me or not. I don't get offended easily. Any publicity is good publicity. Any comment therefore, is a good comment. Have at it my loyal readers! On another note, this morning I was surfing in Carmel and my friend and I went to the old Spanish mission and basilica. He took pictures and I just soaked it all in. Now we're on our way to San Fran.