Local School Class Hamster Successfully Undergoes Last Chemo Treatment

Dorchester, Mass. - Children in Mrs. Winterbottom's 2nd grade class at Whatsherbucket Elementary School were surprised with the news from their resident veterinarian, fellow classmate Johnny Rosenblatt, that their beloved class hamster pulled through its last chemotherapy treatment.

The hamster had developed prostate cancer as of September of last year, said Rosenblatt.

"I'm so happy that little Fur Nugget is still with us. He had us worried. I think now we get a pizza party," said Miley Gilmore, class psychologist, and winner of last week's math olympics.

The hamster has been with the class since the summer of 2012, when "Fur Nugget" replaced a previous hamster named "Old Fuzzy" who had gotten himself stuck underneath a washing machine and was only able to be extricated three days too late by the jaws-of-life.

"I don't know what a prostate is, but I'm glad Fur Nugget is still with us after all that chocolate milk and ketchup packets Johnny put in his butt," said Theodore Frugal, class idiot.

Peyton, Reeling From Humiliating Loss, Caught Eating Dominoes Pizza

Denver - After a soul crushing drumming by some football-playing aquatic seabirds (The Seattle Seahawks), Peyton Manning was seen in a nearby hotel eating Dominoes pizza.

Peyton has a lucrative and well-known endorsement contract with Papa John's, and, reliably, Papa John's was none too pleased.

"Peyton was my boy. He said he loved my dough. He was so happy when he did the commercials. I don't know where I went wrong, " said John Schnatter, AKA Papa John.

Peyton was unavailable for comment.

However, Dominoes' company spokesman did go so far as to say, "Neener, neener, neener," to Papa Johns.

Repackaged, Repurposed and....Still Funny

Here are some of the more enjoyable recent funnies from Failblog, Very Demotivational, Pictureisunrelated, oddlyspecific and engrish:

Deep inside he knew that this was the best part of his day.

Oooooo.

Actually, in Ireland you would not get arrested. Common practice.

Is it just me or do his undies look like a hamper?

It can be done.

You've been in this situation before.

Greatest day of your life.

Llamas. Of course!

That's a bad law. Only in Gaithersburg.

Just your average, everyday house....for psychos.

That's what you think. The aliens took this picture.

The part you can't see is the other golf cart on top of the second ladder.

This is not a fail. Pizza is the real hero.

Pretty accurate actually.

I always do.

Recent Overtures of Funny

Here are some of my latest favorite demotivational posters:

I also found this hilarious letter on failblog today:

NYPD Pizza

Whoa. Almost missed my daily blog post. Well, for those of you in the eastern or mid-western United States, I already missed it. I apologize. I was busy visiting an LDS temple open house in Draper, and then eating some delicious pesto pizza at NYPD Pizza, a place that just opened today. We made sure to make it memorable with each of us ordering our water differently. I had my water with ice and a lemon while my other mates had their waters either straight or with ice. The waitress fortunately humored us, and was well-tipped for it. Oh and she had the shiniest pen I have ever seen. She gave it to me to sign my check and it was so covered with glittery fake gem stones that I nearly died of an epileptic seizure then and there.

The pizza was delicious. I recommend it. Highly. That is all. I'm going to bed. Tomorrow's post will make up for this I promise.

Best Onion Moments

This story about monkeys is probably my all time favorite.



What the little girls says at the end is wonderfully quotable.



I never leave home without one.



I don't know about you, but I'm pretty excited for the sequel.

Nina's Original

There is a little pizza place not from from my house. It sits right next to an oh so popular hot dog stand called J-Dawgs. The place is called Nina's Original. And believe me, it speaks volumes about the place.

Nina's Original is an escape. An escape to my true home, the east coast. In particular, at least in this case, New York. You see, Nina and her husband who run the place are New Yorkers, and so is the pizza. The pizzas are made right there just like you were eating a pie in Brooklyn. The diameter of each pie is at least 2 1/2 feet, the crust is thin and the toppings to choose from are many and distinct.

When I drop by I am greeted by my name, usually strike up a conversation about anything that's on my mind, and Nina makes me feel at home. I generally order by the slice, putting on sweet and hot sausage and onions with some pineapple, or some other great combination, and I finish it off with a smooth Chinotto.



True to their Italian form, Nina's carries San Pellegrino sodas. They have Aranciatta (an light orangish beverage), Limonata (a lemonade type beverage), and Chinotto (a slightly aged, cultured taste, orange beverage). My preference as of late has been the Chinotto, but I'd say it takes a bottle or two to acquire, and you have to shake it up first. But, believe me, it's well worth it.

In the back of Nina's Original they have a Projector and cable so you can watch movies and whatever game is on. And in fact on one of the nights during the NBA finals when my TV was missing the AV cables (thanks to a brother of mine), I went to get some pizza and share my plight with Nina and her husband. They were all too kind and first offered their projector and room after some people finished a movie, but then seeing that it might take a while, they tried to scrounge up some AV cables for me. After they couldn't find them in the restaurant they said they could run home and get them. I of course was grateful for their efforts, but declined. However, the story tells quite a bit about the character of Nina and her pizza place. They are courteous, down to earth, helpful, and my kind of people. And, even better, they serve great pizza.