Iron Man

The time has come to save the world. MJ tried and failed. Greenpeace tried and failed. The UN tried and failed. Who is left?

Iron Man.

He is our only hope, because, as we all know, Obe-wan-kenobi isn't real. However Robert Downey Jr. is clearly alive and well. Sure, a former drug addict might seem an unlikely savior, but he is still Iron Man. And that suit is awesome. And, what is it that makes Iron Man so awesome? His superior intellect. He is the best superhero because he can create just about anything, from anything, with his mind. I mean, who other than Iron Man could have built the suit he did while being held captive by terrorists? The answer is no one.

Iron Man 2 will be out in 2010. I'm stoked. The world will be saved. Soon.

The Greatest Mom to Ever Live

This mother's day, just like every past one everyone out there (at least in the US) is grateful and gushing for their mom. Some are just kind and appreciative. Others are more hard core. They brag and say things like: "My mom is the best in the world." Not bold enough I say. Because, truth be told, my mom is the best in the world, hands down. But she's better than that. She deserves more than the accolades of this world. My mom is the greatest mom in the universe (parallel or otherwise existing). This judgment is not subjective. Sorry other moms.

Here's where you want a pedigree or a list of what makes her great. I don't think that is necessary. Just bottle up all the best characteristics that humanity can provide and put them together and there you go. She's never led my astray and her love and kindness are unwavering beacons. She is always serving, always loving, and finding ways to improve herself and the lives of others. I find no fault in her.

Mom, I hope you liked the flowers, chocolate, breakfast and the past quarter century as my mom. I know I can be a handful. But would you have wanted anything less?

"Definitely Maybe-ers"

Paraphrasing a friend of mine, there are two kinds of people in this world: Those who are always busy, and use that as an excuse not to do things, and those who are just as busy, but somehow always seem to find time for things. I thought this statement was pretty accurate, except I think some people just aren't busy and don't do jack (much to Jack's chagrin). But those people aside, I want to talk about the people who are always busy and never seem to be able to find time to live life.

I'll call these people the "definite maybe-ers" because, they have a hard time prioritizing and organizing, so instead of saying "yes" or "no" they say "maybe". I have a feeling that I am not the only one to deal with this dilemma, so while it may seem that I am ranting, or complaining or whatever, I'm just trying to point out a trend that people can relate to. A trend that makes no sense for anyone.

Let me give some stark examples. 

If you are invited to a wedding reception, or a wedding, more often than not (and by that I mean every time) you are asked to RSVP. I have never heard of someone RSVPing "maybe" to someone's wedding. It's just not practical. The couple cannot just spend an inordinate amount of money of tables and food for people who may or may not come. They need to know definitively. So, if I ever heard a "maybe" for my wedding or reception, I would take it as a "no", and, a slap in the face because the person could not deign me with an appropriate response. If I got that response, the person would most likely not remain a friend. Now, bear in mind a "no" is far more polite and I would not feel burned at all. 

Another example would be if you're asking someone out on a date. Especially if the date is something that needed to be planned out in advance, like a concert or a nice restaurant. If the person being asked says "maybe", I would move on. It's not polite. How hard is it to pull out your planner, look at your schedule and either see if you're free or not? It's not. Now, if you are a "definitely maybe-er" you might have a bunch of "maybes" already penciled in, and that would cause you once more to say "maybe". Living life like that is ludicrous. Give a guy or gal a "yes" or "no".

But here's where the problem comes from: Many people want to seem polite, or be "nice", so they do not give definitive answers and waffle out of fear of offending the other party. Well, the reality is, being clear and saying "yes" or "no" is not a mean way of interacting. It is honest, true, appreciated, and "nice". There is no need for ambiguity. Ambiguity makes things awkward for the "definitely maybe-er" and the person being "maybe-ed". So, the solution is directness. 

If you truly don't know if you can manage something, there is a polite way to deal with it. You do not respond until you know for sure. "Maybe" cannot suffice. Neither can a "yes" that turns to a "no" or a "no" that turns to a "yes". I hope I'm preaching to the choir on this. What do you think?

Freckled People Enlist Animal Help to in Takeover Bid

As you know from a previous post, freckled people are taking over the world.

The freckled people have now enlisted the help of several ingenious animals and people on their quest to take over the world. Here are some of them:

So what if me and the colonel know each other on a first name basis?

Obesity. It's a serious problem in this country. It's almost a world-wide epidemic. 

Now, that being said, it's bad enough to be called 'obese', but then why do doctors, lawmakers, and other people need to sub-classify some people as 'morbidly obese'? Either you're obese or you're not. Do we really need to attach scary adverbs like morbidly? It makes the person feel like they are not only fat, but part of a freaky haunted house at a bad halloween party. Guess what?! That fat isn't a halloween costume, and this isn't a Stephen King novel. Saying morbidly obese is just uncaring. 

So I think we should reclassify these people in a more PC way. 

Perhaps saying they are 'weight impaired'. Or, maybe 'the more blessedly obese'. Or 'the reason we have good NFL lineman'.

The World doesn't elect America's President.

You know what I just love? Don't answer that (that could lead to a number of crude responses). I love the media's use of polls. The media loves them. Politicians love them. Or, they hate them. If the poll says what they want, they put it on the front page. If it doesn't, it gets put in the classifieds. Well, a recent poll that has no relevance at all says that the people of the world want Obama as President.

First off, just a little FYI to media people who thought that poll somehow mattered, this is an AMERICAN election. In this election, who matters are the AMERICAN candidates, and what the AMERICAN people want. 80% of the French want Barack (This picture of Barack comes from the French magazine Le Monde. 

Well guess what France, you can have him after the election, if he defects and becomes a French citizen, but for now, we decide. Obviously the percentage is just as high in Kenya, but once again, Kenya is not the US, and neither is Russia, another country that also wants him to be President.

And, if it weren't enough that we have to hear about how the rest of the world wants to run our country, the beleaguered British PM Gordon Brown praised Obama's charisma and economic platforms, in a time when his party is anything but motivated. He claims that he has not endorsed Obama, but in the article that was written by one of his party's junior staffers, there was no mention of McCain. Seems like a 'not so discreet, under the table, while handing the goods to the wrong hands' type of endorsement to me. 

At any rate, while some may argue that the Presidency of the US is a global issue, because we are the world's lone superpower (excluding an emerging China, and a resurgent Russia), the fact remains, that the responsibility and privilege to elect OUR head of state, does still reside in the hands of the American people, and not in the world's hands. It is not the United States of the World. But the United States of America. Now let's stick to the issues, and let America figure out its own domestic affairs (I know we don't always let the rest of the world do it, but if I were president, sovereign states would remain that way under most conditions, and as far as I know the US is a sovereign state).