The 'Suck' Epidemic

From athletes to actors, to politicians, a terrible epidemic is sweeping the ranks of the rich and famous. Just today actor Sean Penn came down with a terrible case of "suck." But, Penn is not alone. Alex Rodriguez (third baseman for the New York Yankees), along with his latest injury to both his hip and his reputation, has also come down with a severe bout of "suck." And, just a few months ago, Rod Blagojevich had a near cardiac arrest from "suck" and is now situated in an iron lung with feed tubes. 

This epidemic is not new, and in fact has taken many casualties over the years. However, for as long as it has been around, no cure has been found. It tends to affect the unscrupulous (those without scruples), the corrupt, the stupid, and although seems to affect mostly the most visible in society, it is communicable to anyone. For instance, a couple months ago a girl who refused to go out with a friend of mine was struck down with "suck."

Some more famous people who have suffered from "suck" in the past, and may still be dealing with this life-altering disease are: Madonna, Paul Begala, Larry Craig, Cher, Osama Bin Laden, Nancy Pelosi, Tom Cruise, R. Kelly, Geraldo, Paris Hilton, and Oprah.

It tends to hit people at lulls in their careers, comebacks in their careers, or just every moment they spend fully conscious. It leads to horrible music and art for musicians and artists, ridiculously useless policy from politicians, and very bad movies and acting from directors and actors.

Here are some quotes from people suffering from suck:

"I kill myself for my body." - Cher

"Every month that we do not have an economic recovery package 500 million Americans lose their jobs." - Nancy Pelosi

"I didn't spend a lot of time on national security the American people will be glad to know." - Paul Begala

"I'm old, but I'm still cute and strong. And very butch" - Geraldo Rivera 

"Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything." - Paris Hilton

"I think the longer I look good, the better gay men feel." - Cher

"Not only did I get an A in music but I got an A in ladies." - R. Kelly

"I'm learning English at the moment. I can say 'Big Ben', 'Hello Rodney', 'Tower Bridge' and 'Loo'." - Cher

"If I was a girl again, I would like to be like my fans, I would like to be like Madonna." - Madonna

"There are some cigarette burns in some funny places." - Sean Penn

"I don't really think, I just walk" - Paris Hilton

"I'm scared to death of being poor. It's like a fat girl who loses 500 pounds but is always fat inside. I grew up poor and will always feel poor inside. It's my pet paranoia" - Cher

"It's a, 'Bad boy, Bill Clinton. You're a naughty boy'... The American people already know that Bill Clinton is a bad boy, a naughty boy. I'm going to speak out for the citizens of my state, who in the majority think that Bill Clinton is probably even a nasty, bad, naughty boy." - Larry Craig

"I don't like being a voyeur, looking into other people's marriages." - Paul Begala

"I always thought I should be treated like a star." - Madonna

"I think of myself as Special Forces, clearing the path for the infantry." - Geraldo Rivera

"Wal-mart... do they like make walls there?" - Paris Hilton

For some there may still be hope, but for most, they are on life support. To help find a cure make checks out to "Stop Suck Now" and mail them to Sean Penn's fan club.

Halloween Laziness.

Call me lazy, but this halloween I am just giving you a link to an article my friend Scott Spjut (satire correspondent for ABC)  wrote. It tells what all the political candidates are going to dress up as tonight. Here it is:

This is the link to the article.

Here are some photos to enjoy that I put up with my halloween party event on facebook:

...

You should be ashamed.

Scooby-rooby-roo!

Yes, your girl friend does look like a chubby little boy.

This is for my friend Nicole who hates cats.

I always knew Paris was a zombie maid.

Oh shi...

What a great dracula costume!

I'm a lego block.

You better cover your face.

Alien! Those parents are just messed up.

I thought this was Owen Wilson at first. Nope, just ambiguous in relation to his sexuality.

Oh no! Your head is being eaten by Hello Kitty!

This dog makes me laugh, but also makes me sad inside.

This dog makes me hungry.

Dumb.

Hey, that's a little tight, could you ease up a little?

Meh.

Charming. Really.

You have no friends.

Look! You can be a douchebag for halloween!

This dog is actually a rat.

Buzz, where's your ambiguously gay friend?

Nacho!!

Nice. Shaggy is stoned. Typical.

Awww.

You suck.

Um...random fish...this is what we eat on halloween....I guess...

The thinker. Silverback gorilla style.

Okapi's have long tongues...and they will be at the party.

Leaders and Followers

To be a good leader, first one must be a good follower. 

If you cannot follow, and run to the beat of your own drum, you set an example that says that you don't respect authority. And, if you don't respect authority, than why should people be expected to respect you as an authority? Of course to be a leader you cannot just follow. Likewise you cannot just lead when you are a follower. Both must be done in concert.

This is probably not new news to anyone, but it remains important nonetheless. And, this is not just applicable to Presidents, Senators, and politicians. People probably think I refer more to politics at this period of heightened electoral fervor, but I do not. Whether we are speaking of the leadership and followship of mothers and fathers, teachers and students, Assistants to the Regional Manager and Regional Managers, it is no less valuable a principle.

It is possible to teach and be taught as a teacher and as a student. In fact, I would say that good teaching only occurs when there is a healthy interplay between the two. The student must be just as involved as the teacher. And, consequently both will learn together, formulating new ideas and approaches. However, that does not mean the teacher cedes his or her authority and sits as an equal to the student on the subject being taught. It means that the teacher sees that he or she is defined just as much by his or her students as he or she defines them.

So, lead me well and I will follow. Then I will lead you well.

The World doesn't elect America's President.

You know what I just love? Don't answer that (that could lead to a number of crude responses). I love the media's use of polls. The media loves them. Politicians love them. Or, they hate them. If the poll says what they want, they put it on the front page. If it doesn't, it gets put in the classifieds. Well, a recent poll that has no relevance at all says that the people of the world want Obama as President.

First off, just a little FYI to media people who thought that poll somehow mattered, this is an AMERICAN election. In this election, who matters are the AMERICAN candidates, and what the AMERICAN people want. 80% of the French want Barack (This picture of Barack comes from the French magazine Le Monde. 

Well guess what France, you can have him after the election, if he defects and becomes a French citizen, but for now, we decide. Obviously the percentage is just as high in Kenya, but once again, Kenya is not the US, and neither is Russia, another country that also wants him to be President.

And, if it weren't enough that we have to hear about how the rest of the world wants to run our country, the beleaguered British PM Gordon Brown praised Obama's charisma and economic platforms, in a time when his party is anything but motivated. He claims that he has not endorsed Obama, but in the article that was written by one of his party's junior staffers, there was no mention of McCain. Seems like a 'not so discreet, under the table, while handing the goods to the wrong hands' type of endorsement to me. 

At any rate, while some may argue that the Presidency of the US is a global issue, because we are the world's lone superpower (excluding an emerging China, and a resurgent Russia), the fact remains, that the responsibility and privilege to elect OUR head of state, does still reside in the hands of the American people, and not in the world's hands. It is not the United States of the World. But the United States of America. Now let's stick to the issues, and let America figure out its own domestic affairs (I know we don't always let the rest of the world do it, but if I were president, sovereign states would remain that way under most conditions, and as far as I know the US is a sovereign state).