What Color is the Best?

Debate has raged for centuries. Wars have been fought. Civilizations have fallen. Mothers cannot sleep soundly at night in comfortable suburban neighborhoods. All because of this great question: 

What color is the best?

Some say red, others yellow, and even a few wise guys will say things like turquoise, sea foam green, fuchsia, or aubergine. Well they are all wrong.

The best color is brown. Yes. That's right. It's the best. EVER. That's not even subjective. Fashionistas everywhere are calling it the next pink. Brown is earthy, not too flashing, and goes with a lot of stuff. It also is has great polar extremes. On one side it gets flushed down the toilet, and on the other it gets devoured in an ice cream cone. On another side it gets your car dirty, and on the other it can start your day. On another side you get Chris Brown, and on the other you get James Brown. Brown is great. And, I think UPS would agree whole-heartedly.

Enjoy brown:

What can brown do for you? (Stop doing commercials with some guy writing on white boards)

For shame Chris. For shame.

"Yeah! Oooow!" That's probably what he just said.

Awwww.

Capuccino or hot chocolate. Take your pick.

The best part of waking up...

Most women would not be able to function without it. And I would kill for it.

How now brown trout?

Campbell has brown hair too.

And this lady has brown clothes (but has no name).

The Greatest Mom to Ever Live

This mother's day, just like every past one everyone out there (at least in the US) is grateful and gushing for their mom. Some are just kind and appreciative. Others are more hard core. They brag and say things like: "My mom is the best in the world." Not bold enough I say. Because, truth be told, my mom is the best in the world, hands down. But she's better than that. She deserves more than the accolades of this world. My mom is the greatest mom in the universe (parallel or otherwise existing). This judgment is not subjective. Sorry other moms.

Here's where you want a pedigree or a list of what makes her great. I don't think that is necessary. Just bottle up all the best characteristics that humanity can provide and put them together and there you go. She's never led my astray and her love and kindness are unwavering beacons. She is always serving, always loving, and finding ways to improve herself and the lives of others. I find no fault in her.

Mom, I hope you liked the flowers, chocolate, breakfast and the past quarter century as my mom. I know I can be a handful. But would you have wanted anything less?

My Valentine's Day Philosophy

There are a lot of Valentine's Day haters out there. A lot of people have been disappointed on Valentine's Day. Some never get asked to do anything on Valentine's Day. Some are never in a relationship when it comes around. Some are in a relationship but either vow not to do anything because they're afraid of it never meeting expectations, or don't do something because one or the other is a schmuck. Well folks, here is my Valentine's Day philosophy:

I don't hate Valentine's Day. It's never made me bitter or upset. It is a day of love. There is no reason why a single guy can't ask out some girl on Valentine's Day and show her a good time. You don't have to worry if it's going to go anywhere. It's nice to have a day where you can just lavish gifts and romantic praise on someone. It makes the asker feel good because they have someone that day, and aren't relegated to 'stay at home loser' status, and the askee should feel great because of the same reason and that they got asked (so someone was at least thinking of them). If you do want to start something good luck. If you are already in a relationship relish in it. Of course you can go out on nice dates and buy exorbitant gifts on any day, but Valentine's Day gives you an excuse to go over the top and not feel bad about it.

Here are some good reasons to enjoy Valentine's Day:

1. Chocolate

2. Sensuous meals

3. Creative floral arrangements

4. Sweet Nothings

So, there you have it. Live it up this Valentine's Day. Just be careful with the sweet nothings.

Questions to distract you from Holiday Stress

(This is what might happen to you if you read this)

I have decided to write a list of questions for my readers to answer. It could provide a little break and distraction from christmas shopping, finals, work, or anything else that you'd rather not do or think to much about. Here they are:

Would you rather have cold hands and warm feet or warm feet and cold hands?

Which to you like to watch more, rain or snow?

Which do you like to hear more, rain or snow?

Where is your happy place?

What time is it?

What is your favorite Christmas song?

What is your favorite Christmas singer?

Would you rather die choking on dark chocolate or milk chocolate?

How many times have you injured yourself while decorating for Christmas?

What is the capital of Uzbekistan?

Did you know that mistletoe is actually poisonous?

Have you ever eaten Santa's cookies before he got there?

What did Santa do to you when he found out you ate his cookies (ignore if you're a good kid)?

How many pairs of slippers do you own?

Have you ever found coal inside them?

Did you ever want a power wheel for 5 straight years and never get one from Santa?

Do you wish you could have snow and warm weather at the same time (If yes, then I can recommend a few cities near volcanoes)?

Mmmmm....chocolate.

Chocolate. Fondue. Waterfall. Fountain. Strawberries. Banana. Pineapple. Pretzels. Chocolate. Ghirardelli. Godiva. Nestle. Melting. Pouring. Dark. Delicious. Chocolate.

I hope that made your mouth water. It certainly got my craving going. 

Fortunately for me and my craving, we had a fondue party on saturday complete with a chocolate fountain and all of the wonderfully satiating ingredients I previously mentioned. But even after eating chocolate covered strawberries, pretzels, and the occasional pineapple, I felt like I needed something else. Something perhaps to cap it off. Wash it down. Milk. That would do it.

Problem: My house is full of 20 some people, and if I take out my gallon of milk everyone will want a glass.  And, being a courteous host I would give them all glasses, and offer even the one's who didn't ask, leaving me with no milk. 

Solution: Keep the milk hidden. Drink water.