Today's Search: Craziest Thing Ever & Crazy

Crazy Nate Robinson wins slam dunk contest

He's on fire! No. Seriously.

Person? Or Robot?

The robots are brainwashing the children

Some hotrods are awesome. Some are preparatory.

It's the robot master and his child.

Crazy Indian stunt driver. What up Evil?

Hey man. Forgot to brush your upper teeth huh?

Schizo-dog.

Crazy sweet.

And that is all. 

Olympics moved to moon

So China got the skies clear just in time for the Olympics. Supposedly. After taking half of the normal 3.3 million cars off the road and a little artificial precipitation, they have breathable air (or so they want you to think). The truth is, the IOC has recently agreed to host the Olympics on the moon. Even with all the capital improvements (like that giant bird nest stadium thing), and the demolition of entire swathes of neighborhoods to build random shops and venues in Beijing, the best option has been, and still remains, the moon. And as it turns out, the Chinese have laid claim to it as a former possession (even prior to Taiwan, although they still believe it is made of Cheese and sits on the back of a giant turtle). Apparently they'll even be there before the US returns, so the IOC decided we might as well hold the opening ceremonies there.

French President Sarkozy says, "This is a great decision, I've always wondered what would be the best wine with a moon landing." And I'd have to agree. I've always wanted to see the long jump from outer space, and swimming in near zero g.  I think the IOC has finally got it right for a change.

Chinese moon taken from this blog.

Classy van seat

Yesterday I was sitting on my porch in my pinstripe suit with a light pink shirt and a blue tie, watching people walking to church. I was waiting for a friend to pass by so I could walk with him. Then, as I was sitting there, a heavy set guy who looked like he came from the Detroit suburbs right out of a Journey music video or Wayne's World called out:

"That's classy. The middle seat of a van. That's what I'm talking about."



He was of course referring to the van seat I was sitting on. We use it as one of our porch benches. I suppose it may have appeared that I was posing for GQ on that bench yesterday, and the van seat made up the difference. But, with such a classy piece of furniture, it's hard not to look at least a littler bit dapper. The seat is not leather, but car fabric. It's a typical gray seat you might find in a '94 Dodge Caravan (although I have no idea what year the car was). The seat has been there for years (even before I moved into this place). And, it has held up remarkably well. It was built to last. Maybe it was a seat from a GMC. Either way, I am honored to sit on it.

There was a time when I thought "let's get rid of that thing, it's so tacky." But now, I recognize its unlimited value. It is comfortable, reliable, and it doesn't smell. So many benches age poorly and become eye sores. Not this van bench. It has remained iconic and has its place on our porch forever. There may come a time when our society annihilates itself in some cataclysmic World War III, and archeologists will come back to that spot on my porch and marvel at the van seat. Either that, or everyone will digress to back to the Neolithic age and hunt in tribal groups. Then they will make the van seat their idol.

Brasil in lieu of a car

A couple of days ago I had a decision to make. It wasn't really all that pressing, but it was important that I make it. I had decided a few months ago that I would save some money to buy a car, then hopefully have enough to cover a trip to Brasil and save a bit in the bank. Well, recently I thought about how stupid buying a car right now would be. The only way I could make the original plan work would be to buy a POS car, which isn't really my cup of tea.


So the new dilemma was between purchasing a car or going to Brasil. On the one hand, a car would be nice to have because I could then go farther distances in a shorter amount of time. However, at the same time, gas is costing on average $4 a gallon and to be honest, I'd rather not have to pay another insurance bill and maintenance on an old clunker. And then I thought, "Wait a minute, I have a bike." Now, the bike is a BMX bike, not the all so popular mountain bike, but if I got it some new tubes, a new chain, cleaned the rust off and got a new comfy seat, it'd be fine for local travel. So that's exactly what I did. So all of a sudden, there was really no reason to get a car. I still have a little bit of school left, so I don't have a high-paying career yet, so the more I can put away the better.


This brings me to Brasil. The cost of my trip to Brasil would be only half that of buying a car, and I could pocket the rest. Not only that, but I've been telling my Brasilian friends for years now (3 as of yesterday) that I would come back down and visit them. So I thought it was about time to unravel the tapestry of excuses, hop on a plane for the first two weeks of August, and say hello. So the game plan is to work out in Provo until the 30th of July, get on a plane to DC (because if I leave from DC it costs me half as much in airfare), then on the 1st of August get on a plane bound for Sao Paulo, switch planes there and head to Maceio for the next two weeks. When I get back, my brother will just be getting back from Haiti, and we can either drive or fly up to Boston for a friend's wedding on the 23rd. Good plan? I think so. But certainly a busy one.

New Eco Car

NEWS UPDATE!!!: A new car company that was possibly founded by either Koreans, the Japanese or aliens is making cars that drive themselves. They run on a combination of fast food grease, ethanol, lipo-juice, tobacco products, and rum. The interior is made of low cost bamboo mats and banana leaves serve as sun visors. The total weight of the cars is only 400 pounds. That means that after an accident, they are conveniently disposable. In fact, they are trying to make them available to purchase at Holiday Inns. They can seat 4 normal people, 8 children, or 12 ethiopians. The name of the car is the POS-Series 7. Many would call if the perfect POS ever made. If you are interested in purchasing one dial 1-800 326-2727. That is 1-800-ECOCRAP.

The Good Things of Ohio

Some of you may remember, with some bitterness and dismay, the post I wrote a while back about the good state of Ohio. To understand my rationale for bludgeoning the good name of the state, I must just say my Celtics were not doing so hot in a seven game series against Cleveland. However, I foolishly did not remember all of the good people I care for and appreciate that have lived there or call Ohio home.


There are many good things to come from Ohio. One of which is a man named Ross Mangum. Ross was born in the Ohio cradle of love, not far from the garden of Eden. He was nurtured by Cyclops wet maids who rode unicorns (and his loving family, who may or may not have known about the cyclops). Ross grew up near Ohio State University, and has close ties with it. His father is a professor there, and that in turn with his proximity to the school created an unwavering devotion to the school, and consequently its football and other sports programs. He is currently studying neuroscience at Brigham Young University, and heads the BYU chapter of the Alliance of Students Against Poverty (ASAP). He is an extremely bright fellow, with a knack for soccer, and a love for Brazil, having served a two-year mission for the LDS church there. Currently he is a research assistant in Scotland, solving all the mysteries of the human genome and probably cloning lots of sheep. Ross is one good reason to like Ohio, but there are many others.

Let me list them:

Bryant Angelos
Soon to be Mary Angelos
The Bergins
Sea World
Sandusky
High Speed Tech Corridor
Jack Nicklaus
Neil Armstrong
The Wright Brothers
The Cardinal (State bird)
Columbus
Beaver Wars
Cleveland
Cinncinati
Toledo
Akron
Dayton
Automobile plants: Jeep, Honda, Ford, GM
Rubber
Steel
Wright-Patterson Airforce Base
NASA
Cornbelt
Healthcare

There are obviously many other things that I could list, but those should be good enough. The two Angelos family members and the Bergin family should be enough, but you don't necessarily know them. So take your pick (flight, steel, rubber, cars, Beaver Wars), they're all good options. I don't think anyone could still exist without Ohio's contribution to our country and lives. And by exist, I mean live in any meaningful way. Oh, and if you don't know anything about what I listed, look it up on wikipedia, because I don't have the time or patience to write it all out, and I want you to have the wonderful discovery experience I just had with Ohio.