Showing posts with label puppy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label puppy. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Oh CUTE!

English is an interesting language.

Well, some people seem to think so anyway. And, I guess I fall into the category of "some people". But something that makes English so interesting is that it is a living language. It lives in the same way Frankenstein's monster does/did/I don't know if he's still alive. I say that because of how much it is driven by popular culture, vernacular, and is in essence a flowing amalgam of bits and pieces from many other languages and cultures beyond merely those of the British isles and places that were at once part of the British Empire. Ok, let's get to the point.

The word CUTE has become in a way, it's own sub-language. It's versatility is frighteningly unoriginal:

Here is the way in which it was at one point, and may sometimes still be used:

- That baby/puppy/halloween outfit* is CUTE.

*all terms can also be exchanged for butterfly wallpaper, floral arrangements, kittens, etc.


However, here is the way in which it is now used:

- He's CUTE. - (in reference to a boy/man - who should in fact never be considered cute, unless he looks like a puppy holding a floral arrangement while wearing a children's halloween costume - and in that case I believe the correct terminology would be FREAK. A man/boy used to be called attractive, handsome, good-looking, etc., but now, he has unfortunately been relegated to puppy status. If that were all, then no worries, but cute is a universal coverall as we shall see)

- That's so CUTE! - (when referring to any object that has a favorable color scheme or design, when one could just say, "I love those colors, such and such compliments the other, and/or that is a clever or creative way to use yellow and blue/pink and mint green/etc. and etc.)

- Oh what a CUTE sign! - (When the sign is actually not cute at all, bearing no resemblance to a newborn baby, puppy, and containing nothing resembling a kitten with a bib and pacifier. Most often the sign contains a clever turn of phrase, is witty, or is just cleverly being offensive while also subtly attempting to be innocuous)

- Oh CUTE! - (When referring to anything, ever, for any reason at all)

So there you have it. Is there a remedy for this generic way of describing things. Yes. Will anyone really make any concerted effort to come up with a more in depth way of evaluating their sentiments about people, places, and things that will avoid the temptation of cute's simplicity? Probably not dude. I mean dude. Really dude? Dude.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

What Color is the Best?

Debate has raged for centuries. Wars have been fought. Civilizations have fallen. Mothers cannot sleep soundly at night in comfortable suburban neighborhoods. All because of this great question: 

What color is the best?

Some say red, others yellow, and even a few wise guys will say things like turquoise, sea foam green, fuchsia, or aubergine. Well they are all wrong.

The best color is brown. Yes. That's right. It's the best. EVER. That's not even subjective. Fashionistas everywhere are calling it the next pink. Brown is earthy, not too flashing, and goes with a lot of stuff. It also is has great polar extremes. On one side it gets flushed down the toilet, and on the other it gets devoured in an ice cream cone. On another side it gets your car dirty, and on the other it can start your day. On another side you get Chris Brown, and on the other you get James Brown. Brown is great. And, I think UPS would agree whole-heartedly.

Enjoy brown:
What can brown do for you? (Stop doing commercials with some guy writing on white boards)

For shame Chris. For shame.

"Yeah! Oooow!" That's probably what he just said.

Awwww.

Capuccino or hot chocolate. Take your pick.

The best part of waking up...

Most women would not be able to function without it. And I would kill for it.

How now brown trout?

Campbell has brown hair too.

And this lady has brown clothes (but has no name).

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Christmas Cheer

This is how the military's drones really work.

Had to happen some time.

Oh reindeer unions!

I figured this picture would get a good reaction from the ladies.

He's just so tired. 

Proctologist needed.

Notice the purple scarf, and the pink hair dryer? Not typical snowmen.

I actually heard a dog say this once.

Explanation why the tree is turning yellow

Brutal.

Sick.

Yeah Mr. T

That was me when I found the grave.

Oh kids these days.