Asinine.

Asinine.

It just works. On the one hand it has an obvious audible bite to it when you say it, yet on the other hand it's a cultured way of saying something is absurd without using words you'd rather not. It's not distasteful, yet it seeps with you own sentiments of distaste.

I'm a fan. I'm also a fan of taboule.

Random.

Here's a non-related picture:

Or is it related?

Classy van seat

Yesterday I was sitting on my porch in my pinstripe suit with a light pink shirt and a blue tie, watching people walking to church. I was waiting for a friend to pass by so I could walk with him. Then, as I was sitting there, a heavy set guy who looked like he came from the Detroit suburbs right out of a Journey music video or Wayne's World called out:

"That's classy. The middle seat of a van. That's what I'm talking about."



He was of course referring to the van seat I was sitting on. We use it as one of our porch benches. I suppose it may have appeared that I was posing for GQ on that bench yesterday, and the van seat made up the difference. But, with such a classy piece of furniture, it's hard not to look at least a littler bit dapper. The seat is not leather, but car fabric. It's a typical gray seat you might find in a '94 Dodge Caravan (although I have no idea what year the car was). The seat has been there for years (even before I moved into this place). And, it has held up remarkably well. It was built to last. Maybe it was a seat from a GMC. Either way, I am honored to sit on it.

There was a time when I thought "let's get rid of that thing, it's so tacky." But now, I recognize its unlimited value. It is comfortable, reliable, and it doesn't smell. So many benches age poorly and become eye sores. Not this van bench. It has remained iconic and has its place on our porch forever. There may come a time when our society annihilates itself in some cataclysmic World War III, and archeologists will come back to that spot on my porch and marvel at the van seat. Either that, or everyone will digress to back to the Neolithic age and hunt in tribal groups. Then they will make the van seat their idol.

Dressing for Success

Do you dress for success? No. You don't. No one does. There is a common misconception when someone says "dress for success." That misconception is that one must wear a power suit with a red tie and shiny shoes. The reality could not be farther from this pseudo-truth. Of course if you spiffy up a little bit, you'll make a good impression before you speak, but once they've gotten beyond your silk Italian tie and your Armani cologne, there has to be something tangible there.

Dressing as you feel helps you exude confidence and independence. If you feel that today is Hawaiian shirt day, then it sure is! You should dress in whatever way you feel makes you work longer, harder and more efficiently. So, if you are a scuba-dive tour guide, that probably means a wet suit. If you want to wear a tie with that, that's your bag. If you are a pro surfer, you should probably wear boardshorts a wetsuit, or a powersuit just to piss off your brother, who, while at his office job turns on the TV and sees you surfing in his $800 suit. Whatever your job is, even if you have a dress code and work at a country club, you have your options. If it has to be a polo, make it a purple one. If it has to be slacks, make sure they're tweed. If you have a uniform, make sure all your co-workers sign it with their John Hancocks.

Dressing for success is up to you. Just like your success with that dress. If you are the man, then dress like you own it. If you are the wo-man, do likewise. Wherever you go, whatever you wear, be the success that makes your dress. Make your office jealous. They'll be whistling a different tune when they see that those Winnie the Pooh slippers got you a promotion.