Good bye Semester!

Relief. Euphoria. Exhaustion. Gladness. A bittersweet farewell. Well, mostly sweet. These are a few of my favorite things at the end of a semester. Just a few short hours ago I finished a paper. The paper was not all that well-written mind you, but I got it done. That's what matters. That, and there are no more papers until next fall. But, while I live in peace for this moment, finals looms on the horizon like those deep purple and black storm clouds that stroll in uninvited on a beautifully sunny spring day. I think some of you, if not all might be able to relate. But, why must it be so bittersweet? I mean I should be able to clap my hands together and sing Hallelujah and do back flips (I'm working on the back flips...maybe for graduation, if that ever happens). The semester is done! Shout from the bell tower! Run around Notre Dame with Quasimodo! Victory!

Ah, but then we miss our new friends, our old friends, and perhaps on occasion, even a teacher (cough). We miss the monotony of hours of class and going in and out of consciousness in class, or checking facebook during an important lecture. We miss the soothing ring of that bell when we get into class just in the nick of time. We miss those people in the front row who always know the answer and contribute such wonderfully pertinent things to class like their trip to Maui last winter and how much their cat barfed the night before. We miss it all. Oh the memories. Let us revel. Thank you for letting my parents spent thousands of dollars on this wonderfully life-altering and mind-numbing education. I am so looking forward to Grad school.

Wazzup Dude? How are you?

The ways we communicate are many and intricate. From town to town, county to county, state to state, or nation to nation there are variations in inflection, nasality, dialect, and language. For the purpose of this post I'd like to address a some what common trend. You may see it as a bad thing, or a good thing, or you may not care either way.

The simple fact is, wherever you go in the United States, you run into a preponderance of colloquialisms, slang, and mumbling. Personally I find myself more drawn to the mumbling (It is the perfect way to say something offensive without anyone really perceiving it except your closest mumble-translating friends). But, the far greater concern is not the mumblers, although perhaps we should enunciate more clearly.

The real problem is everyone who overuses the following words: stuff, things, dude, yeah, sweet, cool, crap, ya know, like, etc. Rarely, if ever does anyone truly use any of those words correctly in day-to-day speech. What it could represent is a dumbing down of the American-english vulgate. Or, perhaps the spread of MTV and surfer culture has made a massive juggernaut movement. I happen to be part of the surfer culture, but, contrary to what you might think, not all are sun-crisped air heads. In fact most are not. But, even though they may have MBAs or be CEOs and lawyers...they still love to use the words brah, dude, whoa, wazzup, gnarly and the like. This lingo has its proper time and place in my opinion. On the beach, at the board shop, on a surf trip, in the ocean, at the X games, etc. But, this language has made its way into Universities and the workplace and places that one might have thought could be safe, or even immune.

However, what helps it gain momentum is instant messenging, text messaging, and the ever-growing need to be cool and maintain a "I'm smart, but I don't need to use good grammar or complicated language to communicate." With the information age, it becomes easier to talk to one another in a variety of ways, but we also tend to communicate in the most base and easy way. Why? It's less time consuming. It's much easier to send a text that says "Wazup bro? R U goin 2nite to that thing?" than "Hey Tom, how are you? Are you going to the Maroon 5 concert?" And, some might think the second form makes you sound like a pompous dork. Why should we need to punctuate? Who cares about grammar? I got the point across didn't I? Yes. Yes you did, but I can't say I could vote for you for public office, or feel comfortable about sending my kids to a school where you teach. I doubt there is much we can do about the trend...unless we decide that we want to take the time to speak and write well without being ashamed of it.

The cool kids with the sweet lingo don't get the important jobs that go places or change the world. The stubborn people who like books, reading, writing, and public speaking get them. Talk amongst yourselves.

I'm famous!

Everybody these days is famous in the blogosphere. Wow, just writing the word blogosphere makes me feel like some cultish cyber-weirdo (well, maybe I am). Some of you may never know. And, then again, some of you are probably just nodding your heads in agreement.

So, back to the point. With the advent of blogs, podcasts, social networking sites and the like, people who otherwise would have slid under the proverbial rug, are running the world. Some people, and occasionally I find myself falling into this category, prefer to get their news from blogs rather than CNN or MSNBC. It's almost like a total system upheaval...and, I kinda like it. But that being said, with the good blogs come the bad/mediocre/crap blogs.

Now, as much as I would like to think that there are lots of good ones, the truth is that most probably suck and are poorly edited (Some of you are thinking, "Yeah like this one"), but believe me, there are worse. And, I really don't think I need to give to a list of them, they're easy enough to find. But, even though people now publish through RSS feeds everything from their baby's first poopy diaper to diatribes about the weather, they aren't really published columnists. Much less authors. And, although some are, rarely are they even AP contributors. Often they are computer savvy college kids, bored teenagers, soccer moms or the unemployed. But, even though everyone chips in their two cents, the colorful myriad of poetry, satire, ramblings and photo journals is enough to cause one to be ecstatic. Or crazy. Or both. I am not some amazing author. Clearly. I have fun with it. But I guess we just need to be more discerning, because, most people can't write for beans (or any other food-like substance). Just because I have a blog, you have a blog and my friend's dog has a blog doesn't mean we're awesome...well, if you're the dog, maybe it does.

Useless Facebook groups: Boycotting Oil Companies

Here is the link to a facebook group, that, like so many others is trying to solve a complex problem with an over-simplified solution. The problem, as is deemed by the creator of the group is that gas prices are way up, and the only way to bring them down is to boycott the largest supplier of gasoline in the US, Exxon/Mobil. I could go into much more detail about how the dollar is still sliding, inflation is up, and the FED is doing a terrible job trying to keep a weakening economy afloat....but let's just keep to the basics. Here is what I posted when I added this group:

"Ok, I only joined [this group] because the logic is flawed and I'd like to tell you all to WAKE UP! Exxon/Mobil sets its prices based on the price per barrel they pay to OPEC. Therefore, the real problem is what the Saudis, the Venezuelans and the Iranians are charging, not our American companies. You want cheaper gas?! Allow drilling in ANWR, and allow us to use our own resources so we're not so dependent on OPEC."

So, to bring this to a hopefully more hopeful conclusion, perhaps I should make a group that pushes for more development of our domestic resources, green energy and more hardline negotiations with the countries that make up the cartel that is OPEC. But, more than likely people would find that group too complex, and settle for the useless boycott. It never has anything to do with what is the best way to get things done; people just like to do whatever sounds cooler. That says a lot about America. And people in general. Maybe I should just play some Bob Marley and get stoned and forget about life for a while. At least then I could wake up happy and talk about Sheriffs, love, and not rocking my boat instead of facebook oil boycotts.

Wake up to the chant of CHANGE (with no direction)!

Wake up people! Seriously. Now that we've had a couple months of a prolonged democratic nominating contest, you can see the candidates so much more clearly. The contrasts are telling. I will refer to Obama right now.

In the beginning, I'm sure you well remember his constant mantra of CHANGE! CHANGE! CHANGE! My question, is I think very relevant. Remember that quote that "The only constant in this world is change"? Well at least that hasn't changed. So then I ask, what's the big deal? From the looks of things, Obama talks out of one side of the mouth, while mumbling something unappealing an unintelligible on the other side. By that I mean he calls for us to rise above partisan politics all the while toting the most liberal voting record in the senate for 2007.

Then there's the fact that his preacher, Jeremiah Wright, whom he never really distanced himself from, thinks black people are the only people who are worthwhile. You should listen to his sermons on youtube.com, it's all about how the white man has it out for the black man, and how the black community must rise up against the evil white wave. Please. How is this a new kind of non-divisive politics? It's that whole concept of unity through disunity that I guess I never got. Sure. Lets favor one group over another to compensate for years of inequality the other way. Bring equality through inequality! Fight fire with fire! Genius. But I digress.

Obama is eloquent. Obama is charismatic. Obama has a decent image. Why? Because eight months ago, no one knew he he was. Now they do. How fortunate for the voters. Not so fortunate for him. Turns out he's got a closet loaded full of skeletons. And, on top of it, he has no real leadership experience. Two years in the Illinois senate and two more as a junior senator does not make you qualified to be leader of the free world. He might as well do one of those Holiday Inn Express commercials. I can see it now, the President of the EU comes to the White House to shake his hand and he starts talking about his new golfing buddy Raul Castro and how he will solve all our problems with universal health care...and then on top of that balance the budget with more taxes...then the President of the EU says, "Who are you again?" And Obama says, "Well I'm just a junior senator from Illinois that bribes people to vote for me with Dave Matthews Band tickets, but I also stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night." Classic.

Don't eat me grease monkey!

"Oh no I couldn't."
"Why not? It's delicious."
"Oh, but it has so much fat."

Have you heard this before? Maybe the first person is you. Maybe you're the second person. Either way, you've given in. And good for you. If you're going to eat a tray of brownies, a gallon of ice cream, or a bucket of fried chicken, don't do it half-arsed. Gorge yourself in the sugary, fattening goodness.

I love to see people deny themselves the savory delectable treats of life in one moment and then turn around and eat something far worse. It makes me smile. I can't say that I haven't done it myself. An example I will give occurred just the other day. A friend of mine named Betty* came over to my house with her room mates. Fortunately for me, and my room mate Cletus*, they brought warm, deliciously gooey brownies. And, I had some high quality milk to wash it down. We chatted, and made merriment for a while, and then got down to business. Everyone had at least one brownie...but there were left overs. So, Cletus had another and I had another 4 to finish them off. I felt I had done my duty. Now, before I had done this, the other ladies were offered those same brownies, but for some odd reason, apparently they just didn't taste as good as they had before, or perhaps they were full...or maybe they just realized they didn't like the color brown. All very good reasons. So, we finished. And then, much to surprise and utter joy (slight exaggeration), Betty suggested we got to a fast food restaurant to eat some burgers. Wow. What a novel concept. So we went, and everyone ate a burger and me and my room mate ate 1 1/2 burgers (I know some of you are wincing right now at how healthy our choices were that night). But now, at this point, I was definitely not in need of any more food. You might even say I was full. And, I would have thought that the others there with me felt the same. I was wrong. Betty then said, "Why don't we go get some more burgers"....at such and such a place. At this point I couldn't help but see why all of her weekly exercising had gone to naught.

Please don't tell me you can't have another brownie, and then go off and lube your digestive tract with fryilator grease. If you are hungry for unhealthy garbage, eat it. Don't pretend to not like it only to eat more of it later. You are not getting any benefit from your pseudo-denial. But, you do make me chuckle. Give in fatty. Give in.

*Names changed to protect their gluttonous habits

Connoisseurs of the Finer Things

It may come as no surprise to you that I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Yes a mouthful). However, we are generally more commonly referred to as Mormons or LDS. I'd say that might save your mouth and mind the aggravation of memorization and your short hand the unease of remembering where to put a hyphen in the name. And, as you may also know, us Mormons have a fairly strict diet code that calls for us to, among other things, eat meat sparingly, eat plenty of grains, not drink alcohol, coffee or non-herbal teas. Because of this, it is amusing to me to see the sorts of things that other members of my church become connoisseur's and aficionados of (and yes, I realize I just ended that sentence with a preposition). Here is a list of what my friends (and myself) tend to be connoisseurs of:

*Chocolate
*Cheese
*Meats
*Baked Goods
*Juices
*Sauces

Now the reason I am sticking to just food products is because the educated elite (upper middle-class, yuppie types) tend to view themselves as something far superior to the rest of the world because they can recite different champagne and wine labels and years and tell people whether it has an earthy or fruity taste. To further their snub of the rest of the world that spends more time trying to scrape enough money together in order to buy a bowl of rice to feed a family of twelve, they boast of their knowledge of exotic coffee beans and capuccino and latte combinations. So, of course, to keep up with the Joneses, the LDS community have become purveyors of the aforementioned goods. As it turns out, chocolate is grown all over the world, from Brazil to New Guinea to Aruba and refined in Switzerland, Germany, Belgium, England and the US. And of course, depending on where it is grown, it has certain flavors. Chocolate from New Guinea has a bittersweet fruity flavor, while chocolate from Brazil has a richer smoother flavor.

Now I'm not going to go too deep into all of the combinations, flavors and possibilities of all of these foods, but suffice it to say, the LDS community is not missing much without wine and coffee. For instance, with juices, with just mango alone there are more types than even apples. Some exotic fruits that you may not have heard of are acerola, acai, mangosteen, ciriguela, chibutchicaba. And all have a plethora of health benefits and taste selection to offer. I'll go into more detail about this in later posts, but I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Attention Spans

Well, I know that we all have tons of spare time on our hands to read inordinate amounts of posts, articles, blogs and the like all over the internet, but I decided I'd write a little blurb just to experiment with the attention span of any of my readers. That means I am making this post short so that you all can do those really important things like add ridiculous facebook applications like 'Knighthood' and 'What Beatles Song Describes Your Life Right Now.' Wait, maybe I'm the only one who does that. Do you want to know how pathetic that is(rhetorical, do not respond)? I think that daily I sift through hundreds of news articles, blog posts and facebook profiles a day. I think for sports stories I read anywhere from 10-15, for odd news stories probably 30 or so, and for the rest (politics, world news, celebrity gossip, etc.) I usually top the 100 mark. Now you might think "How does he have the time?" Well, it's easy when you have classes that so often bore you to tears and you take notes on a laptop. Not to say that I don't also take notes, but I've learned how to multi-task. In fact, my last post on this thing was done during my Political Science class on international terrorism. There is a blog to that here It's kinda lame and jargon filled, but it's interesting nonetheless. So anyway, let me know if this post was too long for you, and tell me how much news you tend to digest daily. Or just tell me how much you read, because I'm also reading another 5 books simultaneously and just finished 'The Kite Runner' by Khaled Hosseini, which I strongly recommend.

McCain, my reluctant choice.

I know many of you out there know I was anything but pleased to have McCain as the "presumptive" republican nominee, but I must now come out and say, I'm okay with it now. I was bothered by McCain's attempt to allow illegal immigrants to gain legal status while millions of others who were doing it the right way got shafted. I was bothered by the fact that he has constantly plagued American businesses, especially Pharmaceuticals with anti-big business legislation. Big business is what keeps America employed (despite its many drawbacks). I was bothered by the fact that he almost defected to the democratic party. I was bothered by the fact that he had no real world economic experience. I was bothered by the fact that he's a grumpy, weird old man.

However, I have now seen the light (this may have a lot to do with my options). Both Hillary and Obama want to bring socialized medicine to America. Obama has the "audacity of hope" to create 2 million new jobs in the public sector (hmmm...kinda like overtly bureaucratic poorly run nations like Russia and France). Hillary even made the comment that, "It's time for the government to fix the economy." I nearly spat out my gum. Since when does the government control the economy? Don't get me wrong, the government has certain controls over things like interest rates, trade embargoes and the like, but what controls the economy is big Joe down at the deli, consumer confidence, your investment portfolio and what color Kmart chooses to use to advertise its blue-light specials. On top of it all, both Obama and Hillary want an immediate pullout of troops in Iraq regardless of the situation on the ground. Let me get this straight. After we invaded the country, toppled its corrupt but stable regime and trudged around without a decent strategy against the growing insurgency leaving it in social and political anarchy, and finally got it right and are working to fix the mess WE caused, WE all of the sudden are going to leave. That's like me going over to my friends house, ransacking his pantry, then sweeping up part of the mess, peeing on the rest and running away. That's brilliant. That brings me to McCain.

McCain is a battle-tested, torture-endured military man. He knows what it takes to win a war. He knows what it takes to survive. He sees the big picture. He wants to see more political reconciliation in Iraq. He wants to see more work on rebuilding and creating new infrastructure. He wants to allow the Generals to have the full support of the government to do what they need to do in order to bring internal stability to a war-torn, secularly, religiously and ideologically divided nation. Many might think his support of the surge is for political expediency. Others may think his support is political suicide. To me his support shows he GETS the big picture. McCain knows we erred. Hindsight is so nice. But we cannot live in the past and undo what has already been done. We need to look forward and fix what we can and leave Iraq better than we came in.

On another note McCain admitted he was wrong on how he approached immigration. Good start. Hopefully he stays that way. McCain also is vehemently opposed to pork-barrel spending (all those little multi-million dollar earmarks that allow congressmen and senators to take home projects to their home states and districts with our federal tax money). This is good. We need a government that can run smoothly, effectively and transparently. We need to know where and how our money is spent. Furthermore, the correct way to slim the debt is not only through careful and well-regulated spending, but tax cuts. We should only pay what we have to, and nothing more. McCain was reluctant to call the Bush tax cuts a good idea, but now that he's latched on to them, he most likely won't be swayed back so easily (because he's a grouchy, stubborn, stick-to-his guns type of guy). For these reasons, and many others McCain has my vote. For those of you who think Obama is cute and has a nice voice, I can't really argue. Yes he's charismatic. However, he's also a socialist with staffers who worship leftist guerilla Che Guevarra. Not a good reason to vote for him. He's a political neophyte. McCain is old, wise and as stubborn as hell. I'd take that over a supple, 46-year-old shaven chest from Chicago's south side any day.

John McCain

I realize it has been a while, so my apologies to the two of you who occasionally read from my satirical ramblings. I have decided that for the next couple of days I am going to give a snapshot through my eyes of each of the Presidential candidates. My first will be of John McCain.

That gritty smile and dimpled cheek that hangs over his left side like Jay Leno's chin charms and captivates the elderly and few remaining veterans who support him. His little wink and that twinkle in his eye reminds me of Santa Claus crossed with Bob Newhart. Captain of the "straight-talk express" he toots the horn and talks about pork-barrel spending and how he loves the surge. He winces at such 'a' words as "amnesty," but he does so now, because he doesn't believe in it. Fining criminals and letting them roam the streets in front of millions of law abiding citizens who want to do the same isn't a free ride...it's the American way. We're all immigrants right? He makes everyone happy, including most independents and democrats, but the party he's running for doesn't seem to give a damn. Maybe it has something to do with his extra-marital affairs with Ted Kennedy and Joe Lieberman.