Chicken Extermination Order

So a couple days ago there were marching orders in Hong Kong to kill all the chickens. Apparently they were afraid of the bird flu again, and rather than take any chances, they ordered all the chickens that are typically bought and sold at markets and the like, slaughtered. I mean, sure, they were going to be killed anyway, but now they are being killed and going to waste. When I heard about this I began to wonder. What if there was some deadly disease that threatened to wipe out mankind and the carriers were our favorite flea bags, man's best friend, the dog? Would we, consciously make an extermination order? I mean I know some of you who hate dogs are awaiting the day, but for the rest of us, could we do it?

And, on a similar, albeit entirely different vein, what if a certain section of society had some incurable illness that threatened to decimate the world population? Would we exterminate them? Chances are good that the answer is no, however, there was at one point a leper colony on the island of Molokai in Hawaii, so maybe we'd just isolate them. Maybe we'd build them a fortress of solitude like the one Superman has in the north pole. There are so many possibilities.

I think many of us might cringe about the prospect of such things, but the fact is, chickens are being killed in Hong Kong. An entire population of chickens will be forever erased. It's true that they were all on death row anyway, but what if some of those chickens were innocent? What if some of those chickens were free from bird flu? What if there is a cure, and if we had only invested some time we could have saved the chickens? Save the chickens, save the world. Save the cheerleader, save the world. Sounds eerily familiar.

Don't eat me grease monkey!

"Oh no I couldn't."
"Why not? It's delicious."
"Oh, but it has so much fat."

Have you heard this before? Maybe the first person is you. Maybe you're the second person. Either way, you've given in. And good for you. If you're going to eat a tray of brownies, a gallon of ice cream, or a bucket of fried chicken, don't do it half-arsed. Gorge yourself in the sugary, fattening goodness.

I love to see people deny themselves the savory delectable treats of life in one moment and then turn around and eat something far worse. It makes me smile. I can't say that I haven't done it myself. An example I will give occurred just the other day. A friend of mine named Betty* came over to my house with her room mates. Fortunately for me, and my room mate Cletus*, they brought warm, deliciously gooey brownies. And, I had some high quality milk to wash it down. We chatted, and made merriment for a while, and then got down to business. Everyone had at least one brownie...but there were left overs. So, Cletus had another and I had another 4 to finish them off. I felt I had done my duty. Now, before I had done this, the other ladies were offered those same brownies, but for some odd reason, apparently they just didn't taste as good as they had before, or perhaps they were full...or maybe they just realized they didn't like the color brown. All very good reasons. So, we finished. And then, much to surprise and utter joy (slight exaggeration), Betty suggested we got to a fast food restaurant to eat some burgers. Wow. What a novel concept. So we went, and everyone ate a burger and me and my room mate ate 1 1/2 burgers (I know some of you are wincing right now at how healthy our choices were that night). But now, at this point, I was definitely not in need of any more food. You might even say I was full. And, I would have thought that the others there with me felt the same. I was wrong. Betty then said, "Why don't we go get some more burgers"....at such and such a place. At this point I couldn't help but see why all of her weekly exercising had gone to naught.

Please don't tell me you can't have another brownie, and then go off and lube your digestive tract with fryilator grease. If you are hungry for unhealthy garbage, eat it. Don't pretend to not like it only to eat more of it later. You are not getting any benefit from your pseudo-denial. But, you do make me chuckle. Give in fatty. Give in.

*Names changed to protect their gluttonous habits