While every other network is going to show Obama tooting his own horn about his first 100 days in office, Fox is keeping to their regularly scheduled programming. That is, Tim Roth's show "Lie to Me." Personally, I find 'Lie to Me' far more engaging than Obama's addresses, no matter how good a teleprompter reader he is. So, today's post is endorsing the show 'Lie to Me'. Here's the most recent episode (tonight will have a new one):
And, for all you Fox bashers out there, I think you might be able to give them some props for not cowtowing to the administration's constant requests for air time. When will the other networks man up?
PS - I couldn't help but notice that the show playing in place of Obama's address is 'Lie to Me' which is quite possibly the same you will be getting on the other networks not playing the show.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Swine Flu: Run for your life!
OMG! It's the swine flu! I'm so scared. I mean I spend most of my time in Mexico rolling around in the mud with pigs and cutting deals with rural pig farmers. It's almost as bad as the West Nile virus that killed hundreds of crows across the US. But it's not quite as bad as the avian flu that killed many Chinese chickens and caused thousands to be slaughtered by the government in the worst chicken holocaust since KFC was founded.
The authorities are cracking down.
But they're having some fun too.
The swine flu is worse than AIDS. At least people got AIDS from monkeys. I mean, I know it's an ethical question that no one wants to talk about, but is it better to touch monkeys or pigs? Perhaps Michael Jackson has an answer. I like monkeys better, but that's just a personal preference. There are a lot of sick pig obsessed whack jobs out there.
I know what you're going to say. "But these people didn't get it from getting jiggy with pigs. Pigs are just genetically similar to humans and so the disease was easily communicable." I'm not buying it. Sounds like something a pig lover would say.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Being a Facebook Fan
On facebook you can be a fan of lots of things. You can be a fan of Coca-Cola, Larry Bird, the X-files, or George Washington. But you can also be a fan of things that, while ridiculous, are nonetheless important to some like cuddling, sleeping, not being on fire, and drinking beer. Currently I am a fan of these things (some of them more than others):
So there you go. I am a fan of a lot of stuff. It seems that I should be a fan of more stuff. Like cliff-jumping, Base jumping, jumping in general, eating ritz crackers, playing catch at 8,000 feet, deli sandwiches, etc.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Rain Funnies
So it's raining today in Provo, so I decided to share some funny rain pictures, images, etc. I took some of them from ihasahotdog.com and icanhascheezburger.com and the rest I found.
Nice. He's so happy.
Brilliant.
I loved this one.
I always wondered the same thing.
Sad.
Why is it animals are so funny in the rain?
Some cat owner has serious issues.
This could be you jeep owners. Make sure you clearance is as high as your cajones are big.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Bad Milk.
Canst thou imagine the dismal shock?! 
No sooner had the cup pressed my lips, when straightway I was seized upon by the putrid liquid, and made victim to its noxious nature. Yea, it would not be excessive to say that as those first few rancid droplets touched my palette, whereupon my tongue lay innocently at wait, every fiber of my gut rejected them, yea, from the very depths of my bowels did my body writhe and contort in expedient refusal, so great was my reaction. “Wherewith have I been poisoned?” exclaiméd I in earnest bewilderment. In my haste, I had poured the foul beverage without knowledge or notice of its insidious pungency. Upon further investigation, I was overwhelmed by the repugnant emanation of the jug from whence I had poured. Yea, so beset was I by the acrid stench, that I was prepared to submit myself to that gulf of endless misery and woe, yea, the darkest cesspool whose only inhabitants exist in a tormented state of continual wailing and gnashing of teeth. Else I should throw the jug away. Henceforth, should mine carton remain unconsuméd upon the marked date whereupon it is it to be sold, I shall drain it to the very dregs, and lay waste to all contents therein. For it seemeth better in mine eyes to suffer the loss of rations, than to embrace that potentially vile, curdled drink. T’would be fruitless to unbridle my wrath upon the bovine species, whose tender succor oft quenches mine thirst most sweetly. Nonetheless, when the bitter taketh the place of the sweet, and betrayed am I of my dairy treat—Vengeance will be mine!
No sooner had the cup pressed my lips, when straightway I was seized upon by the putrid liquid, and made victim to its noxious nature. Yea, it would not be excessive to say that as those first few rancid droplets touched my palette, whereupon my tongue lay innocently at wait, every fiber of my gut rejected them, yea, from the very depths of my bowels did my body writhe and contort in expedient refusal, so great was my reaction. “Wherewith have I been poisoned?” exclaiméd I in earnest bewilderment. In my haste, I had poured the foul beverage without knowledge or notice of its insidious pungency. Upon further investigation, I was overwhelmed by the repugnant emanation of the jug from whence I had poured. Yea, so beset was I by the acrid stench, that I was prepared to submit myself to that gulf of endless misery and woe, yea, the darkest cesspool whose only inhabitants exist in a tormented state of continual wailing and gnashing of teeth. Else I should throw the jug away. Henceforth, should mine carton remain unconsuméd upon the marked date whereupon it is it to be sold, I shall drain it to the very dregs, and lay waste to all contents therein. For it seemeth better in mine eyes to suffer the loss of rations, than to embrace that potentially vile, curdled drink. T’would be fruitless to unbridle my wrath upon the bovine species, whose tender succor oft quenches mine thirst most sweetly. Nonetheless, when the bitter taketh the place of the sweet, and betrayed am I of my dairy treat—Vengeance will be mine!
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Boy Discovers China Digging Hole in Back Yard
At 8:30am this morning in the small town of Gary, Indiana, a boy by the name of Jed discovered a link about which some children have only dreamed. For centuries parents and old weird uncles have been telling little kids that if they dig a deep enough hole in the back yard, they will reach China. Many adults, and even some skeptical children thought this was a mere ploy, that is, until this morning.As it turns out, Jed managed to reach China after digging approximately 6 1/2 feet down in a spot in his yard in between the bird bath and the sand box.
Geologists, geophysicists, and farmers are baffled. Some astronomers are calling it a worm whole, while others think it's a smaller, more subtle fold in the space-time continuum. Jed's neighbor, Lewis Barnaby, a farmer, and part-time auto mechanic, had this to say:
"I told that boy he shouldn't dig too deep cuz he might snap a cable or hit the septic pipes. Well, thank goodness he missed those. But now I'm glad he dug that hole. I can go to the Beijing Olympics now for free. And, I love Chinese food."
Later Mr. Barnaby was told that the Olympics ended last summer.
Jed on the other hand was more realistic about the benefits of his new hole to China. He and his parents have already made a deal with a rural monastery on the other side of the hole to train him to become a monk.
"I think this a fabulous opportunity for cultural exchange. The town of Gary is going to have a renaissance of sorts. Soon enough you won't be able to count the number of cheap sets of furniture and gallons of tainted toothpaste coming out of that hole. And, I bet just about everyone in town buys one of those Zildjian cymbal hats," said Dr. Lubscrubber, archeologist and comedian from Indiana University.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Pepsuber
This was by far my favorite Superbowl commercial. Oh, and no, I did not watch the Superbowl, I just sifted through the commercials on hulu. The actor in this commercial is hilarious. He was in the show How I Met Your Mother, and probably some other stuff (Word has it that actors usually do more than one movie/show/commercial, but not necessarily).
Saturday, April 18, 2009
The New Guy
You've gotta love being the new guy. This little clip from Man Stroke Woman is what will most likely happen to you on your first day with your new job.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Smart Monkeys and Apes
As it turns out, monkeys are smarter than us. And apes are way beyond us. The proof is in the pudding. This chimp's name is Bart. He runs a grocery store that employs seven illegal immigrants and three high school kids. The incentives for employees are food fights on breaks, and finger painting for an hour two times a week. He also is very generous with bonuses, paying his top employees in banana creme pies and lower back massages. This next photo is Phil. Phil is a newspaper editor. Here he can be seen checking reading an advertisement that was placed perpendicularly to the text. He is not just literate, but extremely meticulous with his reading, often reading 50 articles before lunch, with only two percent of those making the final cut.
Our last smart ape is Bobby. He lives in Borneo and likes to go stick fishing. It is similar to spear fishing but less invasive to the fish. Bobby actually smacks the fish upside the head before catching them, thus stunning them. The typical spear fisherman causes irreparable bodily harm to the fish before catching it. Good job Bobby.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
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