The Art of Jaywalking

People and animals the world over have been doing it since the Romans first came up with decent roads. Yes, that's right: Jaywalking. Why, even dinosaurs did it while migrating across Pangea (especially the diplodocus, he had no respect). However, as risky as it can be, it doesn't seem to be going away. In fact, I'd say it's a rather celebrated past time. Perhaps not quite as celebrated as baseball in America, but more so than the birthday of a family's middle child. Some people are better than others, (as evidenced by the unfortunately high amount of pedestrian casualties), and some animals are better than people. Therefore, there is even another tier within the jaywalking clique that is even more exclusive. It is reserved entirely for giraffes.

Enjoy the art of jaywalking:

No officer, I do not drink and drive.

A free tattoo? Sweet.

Egret, please show some common decency. This is not a marsh. Cross the road in the designated area.

INSOLENT CAMEL! No jaywalking, or strutting, or whatever it is you do.

Why don't you write a song about it.

You just couldn't wait could you? Over eager maybe?

Giraffe, how dare you! I told you to go to the giraffe X-ing.

Oh, now I'm convinced.

Ok man, this time you've gone too far.

I hear this little jaywalking  incident didn't go over so well. You've gotta pick your moments.

Seriously giraffe?! You're out of control.

What?! Cross-dressing man nun jaywalker?

I killed a baby giraffe.

So of course I hunted and killed many exotic animals at the wild animal park. And my favorite one to kill was a baby giraffe. It's mom kept making hawing noises and hitting me with her hooves, but I got the shot off. I'm mounting it on my wall.

In other news I went surfing this morning. I went to Huntington Beach. It was overcast and sprinkling from time to time. The surf was horrible. There were no consistent sets; it was very choppy and two "do-gooders" almost ran off with my surfboard and bag while I was out carving what pipe I could find. However, the water temperature was good. 61 degrees. I loved it. The temperature that is. I'm betting tomorrow will be better as we head towards Big Sur and ride some stuff on the central California coast. We'll stop by Morro Bay, Cayucos, and maybe San Simeon.



A little word to the wise for romantics: Don't wait for people. If your boyfriend says he's going away for two years, kiss him goodbye and look elsewhere. There are too many good eggs in this basket we call earth to waste your life away waiting for a nice speckled brown egg to come back to hatch and roost with you. It's stupid. Even if you do "wait for him, " which to me is absolute BS, you will probably go out with other guys, have other relationships and live your life. So, don't look at me funny when I think you're a complete moron for dumping your boyfriend, saying no to James Bond and trying to get back together with this guy who's been away for two years. First, it's stupid. Second, you broke up for no good reason. Second again, you broke two hearts at least. Third, you don't even know if the guy you waited for is the same one you are trying to get back with. And fourth, you are a different person too. Don't cut yourself short. There are always more fish in the sea and life is worth living. Don't wait. Carpe Diem! But at the same time, if you do wait and it doesn't work out...c'est la vie. You can't always get what you want, but if you try some time, you get what you need. I heard that somewhere before....