The Foreign Service Officer Test

This July will be a busy month for me. As will August, but let's focus on July. For work I am researching and developing a good groundwork to present the Envision the World Project to investors, and that will consume my time until about mid-July. At around the mid-month mark I also am going to visit my family cabin (and of course continue working there on presentation and business related aspects of the ETW project). But, the big event that I'm going to be involved in will happen on the 14th. The Foreign Service Officer Test.


For those of you who have never heard about it, it is the most selective federal exam that exists in the US. It consists of two parts and is run by the same people who make the ACT. The first part is the written test, and 3 hours are allotted for its completion. The subject matter consists of grammar, writing, economics, world affairs, and vocabulary. The pass rate on the written portion is 30%. Not that encouraging. However, let's say that I pass hypothetically speaking, then, I have the opportunity to take the oral exam six months later. Now there aren't many ways you can study for the oral exam other than perhaps asking someone who has taken it. But here's the stunner: 10% of those who go on to take the oral exam pass it. So looking at the total percentage of people who pass the FSOT, the total is 3% of those who take it. So of course I have grown to have little sympathy for those who are preparing to take the GRE, GMAT, LSAT or any other standardized test. The FSOT is by far more intensive and difficult. But, for some strange reason I still am doing it. I am going to drive up to Sandy and from 10am-1pm at some community college, put my pencil to the paper and hope for the best. I mean, if you pass you're set for life as a career diplomat for the US government.

In preparation for the test I am reading the Economist religiously, and I ordered a little packet of sample questions from the State Department. Whether this preparation will do me any good remains to be seen. If it doesn't pan out, I'm pretty sure I've got back up options, and, even better, I can take the test as many times as I want (paying 50 bucks a pop) and can only take the oral exam in a select location 1 or 2 times a year. So...I'm crossing my fingers.

Abu Dhabi buys New York.

Well here's some good news for those of you who think there isn't any: Abu Dhabi, the massive middle eastern investment firm, has just bought the Chrysler building in New York. Yippeee!!!! There's nothing better than abusive sultans and their buddies who live off oil largesse buying up art deco icons that dominate the New York skyline, while most of their fellow countrymen starve. It's just so thrilling. I hear the next thing they're buying is the Washington Memorial. It will look so nice with an onion head hat on top of it (I always worried that someone would get hurt with that pointy spire).

But, I saw this glorious day coming. The Manhattan GM building was sold off to the Kuwaitis and Qataris weeks ago. I love it. With our real estate slump, these guys are a Godsend. I hope they replace the horse cops in New York with camel cops. That will be great. And maybe they'll sell flying carpets on street corners...and crazy gypsies will tell Shaharazade and her 1001 Nights to passers by. Living the dream New York. Living the dream.

You Saucy Meatball

Along the lines of spaghetti and Italian pasta, some of my buddies and I have a different language interaction than most of you. For instance I might call my friend a saucy meatball, a meat sack or something. Some might find it strange, but that's only because they don't understand or are jealous. I've found that men in general have lots of inside jokes and even have covert languages among friends. My friends and I are no exception. For the longest time, a couple buddies from High School and I used the word 'icecream' to signify something. Let me give an example:

"Dang man, that's some sweet ICECREAM over there."

So, yes it was a good thing. Now here's another interaction:

"Hey meatball, we going to the gym?"

Response: "I'm already here meatsack."

And another for you:

"Dude, he's a poacher."

Taken at face value, these little phrases are, for lack of a better word, retarded. Or, perhaps nonsensical. But at any rate they mean something. And that something is far more important than the phrase itself. It is generally coupled with winks, nodds, neck jerks, grunts or angry stares. This way, women are left confused and stay out of the loop. And, even when you think it'd be nice for them to be in the loop, they can't get in even with some subtle hints. For guys, less is more with communication. With girls, more, more, more.

Keep Friends Close, Enemies Closer

You know that saying that goes: "Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer"? Well, recently I thought about a certain Presidential candidate and his idea of international diplomacy. Some of you may already be aware. Barack Obama has agreed to meet with the leaders of Iran, Syria, North Korea, Venezuela and Cuba without preconditions. And, on top of that, he refuses to re-visit Iraq to reassess the situation, and refuses to meet with General Petreaus. You might see the strange logic in this. Or, perhaps you think this is a stroke of genius.


Of course it's genius people. We legitimize regimes that do not pay attention to international sanctions and agreements with the highest form of diplomacy available: a Presidential visit. And, then we slap our own people in the face. Our ally Iraq, Maliki's government and our troops clearly are less worthy of being spoken to than a man who denies the Holocaust, or another man who has already tested nuclear weapons right near our ally Japan. Obama has got this one right. He's keeping his enemies close like bosom buddies, and keeping his friends at arm's length.

But, perhaps there is another option. Maybe, keep your friends close, and talk to your enemies when they start obeying international law....just a thought.