Potato Guns Standard Issue with New Defense Budget Plan

Under the new defense plan promulgated by the DoD and Secretary of Defense Gates, the army will be equipped with "more cost-effective, tactical weaponry, over the armageddon scenario type weapons of the past," he said.

Well, he certainly was not mincing words with cost-effectiveness. Witness exhibit A:

Here we have (I can only presume) Captain Stubing, and his new potato gun. Standard issue now.

However, the larger guns are rather cumbersome for close range combat, so the defense plan also put a smaller version into production:

The best part is that you can get, as advertised, "300 shots from one potato". Talk about efficiency. Now, I don't know about you, but if I were Al Qaeda, I'd be wetting my pants right now. F-22s have got nothing on potato guns.

Happy Memorial Day!

I hope everyone is having a great memorial day. I know I posted about it before, but this day is a truly special one in the United States. Many think of it as merely an extended weekend in which to have barbecue with friends, but I would hope that many more know its true significance. 

Memorial Day is a national holiday in the US, and is designated as such so that we may honor those who have fought for our freedom and way of life for hundreds of years. We honor the valiant and noble young men and women who have donned the uniforms of our armed forces from every generation and every war - from the Revolutionary War to the present day wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. 

Our hearts go out to those who have lost loved ones, and our souls fill with pride and honor as we remember the great ones who have preceded us in fighting for such a magnificent dream. America is and should always remain a land of hope, freedom, justice, honor, and courage. 

It is such a simple thing in comparison to all that they have done - to honor their service on one day of the year. To wear the red, white, and blue. To wave a little flag. To salute the fallen, and to thank those active duty military members today. 

Today I helped coordinate the National Memorial Day Parade in Washington, DC. I think it was a marvelous success. All of the branches of the military were honored with bands, flags, musical numbers, honored guests, dignitaries and thousands of Washingtonians, Brazilians, Belgians, Kuwaitis, and many other nationalities. I wish you all could have been there, but I'm hopeful that you had your own parade or traditional celebration of some kind in your own hometown. God Bless you, America, and the Troops, both fallen and those still with us.

The New Draft!

Due to new demands on the military and low recruitment numbers, the President has re-instituted the draft. And there is no beer involved this time. Anyone who's name rhymes with Dick, Rupert or Marv is now called from the spinny wheel thingy. And all of you draft dodgers from Vietnam who lived in Canada for the war, or those of who still call yourselves Canuks are now called to report to service. This also means wildlife. All moose, geese, and pheasants must get in line too. Mounty's behind them.









The draft will go on indefinitely as the President sees fit. Don't cry about it; you can still bring your Molson Ice and maple syrup. You will be assigned to report to Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. Your mission will be to fight the enemy. The enemy being either the Cubans or whoever we have imprisoned there without cause. Good luck men. Serve with honor and you will get extra rations of beans and Marlboro lights.