Cardboard. Coming to a Grocery Store Near You

Apparently there is some massive subculture out there that advocates eating cardboard. I only discovered this today as I searched for random pictures that would hopefully incite riots of bewilderment. Here is a link to a website that sells shirts promoting the consumption of cardboard. I guess, in a nonsensical way, it makes sense. I mean, it's better that we eat cardboard than it eat us.

These people have already been consumed by cardboard. Don't let it happen to you or someone you love.

This could be your cardboard overlord.

Eat him before it's too late.

As it turns out, eating cardboard is also better for the environment. You produce less harmful bi-products, and don't have to worry about eating lots of other stuff. It thereby reduces farm costs (to zero), eliminating the need for irrigation (saving water), and allowing all livestock to roam free. It then frees up farmers to make more cardboard. Yay! And if that weren't enough, you will shed those extra pounds in no time. Dreams really do come true. With cardboard.

Flappy is the mascot of the cardboard council. He teaches children to eat more cardboard.

Colbert Becomes Scientology's New Galactic Overlord

I'm sure there are plenty of you out there who have not had a whole lot of meaningful endeavors recently. Well, weep no more. Your life has meaning! You don't have to put on those figurative galoshes or wellies and trudge the muddy mire that is your life. Those days are over. You can instead vote to have a new NASA space module named after Stephen Colbert, who is now also apparently the new galactic overlord of the scientologists.



Now, I'm no Scientologist, but now that Stephen has taken over for Xenu, I'm starting to reconsider. I'm not sure what I have to do to prove my worthiness. Perhaps I'll have to get on some nationally syndicated talk shows and jump on couches. I know at least Conan would be down for it.

To write in Overlord Colbert's name go to this link.