The Metaphor of the Pet Fish

Try to pull a life lesson or sophisticated metaphor out of this:

At the beginning of this semester my brother agreed to take care of three guppies when a girl he hardly knew said her landlord wouldn't let her have them. So, we, or should I say I, ended up caring for these fish. I kept their tank clean, changed their water, fed them, and did all the normal fish care essentials. Unfortunately, I had to leave for winter break. While I gorged myself in holiday dinners and moped around my parent's house, the fish were back at school, all alone. I told a friend of mine to feed them and water my plants, and thought not much of it.

Then I returned. One of the fish was dead. Another was doing strange acrobatics and water Tae Bo that led me to believe he was also near the end of his days with us. A few days later he died. They were of course given their due respect with a proper fish burial, involving a net and a toilet. So now I have one fish. He has remained chipper, and one might even say "plucky." He eats well, swims well, and seems to enjoy being the king of his domain. 

So I suppose my question is this: Which fish are you? 

Are you like my last remaining fish who held on with faith until after the master returned and still lives in harmony on his fish throne?

or

Are you the fish who died before his return?

or

Are you the fish who held out long enough to see the master, do some stupid tricks to either save yourself or impress me, and then die shortly thereafter?

The Inauguration B-list

As many of you already know, Obama's inauguration on tuesday is supposed to be a big deal. I do not dispute that. It will be. And, with a price tag more than twice any previous inauguration it better be a big deal. But, I thought it might  be fun to dig a little deeper. We all know that Itzhak Perlman and Yo-Yo Ma will be there for the celebration, but what about all of those b-list celebs and other interesting people who no one seems to want to talk about? 

I have compiled  a list of possibly forgotten people who are sure to make this inauguration a memorable one:

Billy Blanks (the Tae Bo guy)

Eleanor Rigby (Of the Beatles song)

Falco (Austrian rap/pop/rock star from the 80s who made the song 'Rock Me Amadeus')

Richard Simmons (Flamboyant aerobics instructor)

Marty McFly (Character played by Michael J. Fox in 'Back to the Future')

Bruce Campbell (famous b-list actor who starred in 'Brisco County Junior' and 'Bubba Ho-tep')

Magnus Ver Magnusson (Icelandic Powerlifter who won Met-Rx World's Strongest man in '91, '94, '95, and '96)

Wilson (The volleyball who Tom Hanks' character befriended in the movie castaway)

Miles Standish Monument (a local South Shore Rock band named after a statue in Duxbury, MA)

Splinter (Famous Rodent Sensei of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)

And there you have it. Those are some notables that have not been reported in the mainstream media. Honestly, I do not know why they would not get a shout out. It would be an honor to meet any of them. If you are going to the inauguration be sure to keep your eyes out, and try to refrain from hitting around beach balls, because, it could be Wilson.