One-up this!

You all are probably well acquainted with the one-upping game that goes on with men. It's not attractive to women, and it generally doesn't make men new man friends. It can however gain a man cronies, lackeys, and wannabes, and the occasional ditz. I would never of course lower myself to such silliness. And, that's why I wanted to tell you all about what kind of car I drive.

Some people drive hondas, others drive BMWs, and yet others drive Maseratis, Ferraris, and Lamborghinis. Well, that's all good, but I drive the space shuttle. Yeah, you can brag about your 0-60 in less than 4 seconds and your top speed of 200mph. I can go 0-1000 in less than 4 seconds, and my top speed is 17,321 miles an hour. Oh, and for you truck drivers out there, my maximum payload is 55,250 pounds. Yeah, how 'bout them apples? Oh, and if that weren't enough for you, when I offer to take a lady to the moon, I mean it.