Last Night's Amazing Thing

Last night something happened.

You might think, "Yeah, and so what? Things happen." Well this thing that happened was amazing. It was empowering. It was unfathomable. Well, maybe not unfathomable, or amazing. But it was life-changing, glorious, edible, fecund, green, and fascinatingly bourgeois. Well, not edible, or green, or glorious. Ok, what happened wasn't really that exciting.

The front blinds on our big window we drawn closed and all the lights were off in the house. Some might think that means we're asleep, or not home. Some might be wrong. My brother and I were in fact watching an episode of one of my favorite shows, Boston Legal. And, our blinds are missing one little piece that gives us inside a glimpse of our front lawn. So, as we were watching, my brother noticed out of the corner of his eye through the open slit in the blinds people frantically running back and forth on our front lawn. He didn't mention this to me until after the show of course, because he's so considerate. 

When he told me that they were putting signs up I got a bit flustered. The reason I was bothered was because I thought it was an old room mate who I had gotten into a quarrel with over a political sign. So we went outside and ripped them all out and put them into a pile and waited. Not too long after we sat down to watch another episode, a dark figure came to our door. We peeked out the window. We couldn't make out who it was. The person was leaning on the door, so my brother walked over, gave the door a yank and we got our prankster. And, it wasn't my old room mate. I cannot say who we caught that night, but it was a victory for us. 

Baseball Gods

Have you ever met a mortal God? 

Have you ever met a mortal God that plays baseball?

Ok, maybe it's not fair to ask whether you've met one, but perhaps you've seen one before. They are rare, and often have strange names. I saw two last night:

Covelli Loyce "Coco" Crisp and David Jonathan "J.D." Drew.

You probably weren't watching, but if you were it didn't look good for the Red Sox last night. Down 7-0 in the seventh inning of an elimination game in the American League Championship Series against the Tampa Bay Rays, the Red Sox looked anemic. For the third game in a row their starting pitcher had imploded and they were down 2-0 in the first inning, then 5-0 only in the third, then 7-0 in the 7th. I was flipping channels in between BYU's game and the Sox. Both games looked very bad to me. BYU was down 23-0 after the first half against TCU, and the Red Sox looked to be goners for this year, going down without much of a fight, Tampa Bay players playing with huge grins on their faces ready for a World Series showdown with the Phillies.

Then something miraculous happened. With two men on, the energizer bunny of the Sox team, 5' 6" Dustin Pedroia hit a single and got the Sox on the board. Only one at-bat later, "Big Papi" David Ortiz, who had been without a home run in his previous 61 at-bats hits a towering shot to right field. All of a sudden the game is 7-4. 

The next inning with 1 man on, JD Drew, God among men, clutchest man to ever live comes to the plate against the Ray's reliever Wheeler. Well, let's just say it wasn't Wheeler's night. Drew crushed the ball and made the game 7-6. But, if that weren't enough (and it wasn't) Wheeler got 2 outs and looked like he was going to wrap things up when my favorite outfielder/chocolate cereal came to the plate. Coco Crisp. After battling for 10 pitches, he sliced a beautiful single in play with Mark Kotsay at second and tied the game at 7-7. Coco was tagged out trying to extend his single to a double, but the damage was done. 

But, it looked like it wasn't going to be the next inning as Justin Masterson was pitching with one out and 2 on in the top of the ninth. Then, quite masterfully, Masterson induced a grounder from the Rays' go-to guy, Carlos Pena. One 4-6-3 double play later we were all tied up in the bottom of the ninth.

The Rays' little boy of a man JP Howell was pitching. And, he managed to get two outs, but not before 3rd baseman Evan Longoria botched getting Kevin Youkilis out at first on a routine grounder. The ball went into the seats after Pena couldn't hang on to the errant throw. Youk took second. Then Jason Bay (supposedly Manny's replacement, but a lot better of a person) steps to the plate. The Rays manager Joe Maddon decides to intentionally walk him, bringing up once again JD Drew, with his career 4-7 average against lefty JP Howell. It was lefty versus lefty. And my money was on the baseball God whose name rhymed with 'Screw."

And, he didn't disappoint. He sandwedged a shot into right field just over the extended glove of Rays outfielder Adam Gross. GAME OVER. Red Sox win 8-7 in the biggest playoff comeback in MLB history since 1929, and the biggest ever elimination game playoff win ever.

I have seen mortal Gods who play baseball. 

Coco Crisp and JD Drew.

Now the most beautiful names on earth. Who knew?

Red Sox vs. Yankees

The Yankees didn't become a storied franchise until Boston foolishly sold Babe Ruth to them. The team with more history from the get go was the Red Sox.  The Red Sox had 5 World Series victories prior to 1918. How many did the Yankees have? None. We give them our best player, all of a sudden they win some. So don't tell me we're just bitter and have never been nice to the Yankees.  

On another note, after Johnny Damon opted to play for the Yankees for more money that the Red Sox were offering after 2005, the Yankees haven't won a series. The Red Sox won the last one in 2007. Silly Johnny (you looked better as Jesus). In fact, the Yankees haven't won since 2000. Of course it's only an 8 year drought as opposed to the 86 year drought Boston had, but with a little faith from the Fenway faithful, we might be able to extend New York's bump in the road.

But, before I go deep into this, let me remind you that I have nothing against New York. I love Mets fans. I even tolerate Dodgers fans (a team that used to be located in Brooklyn, but got moved to LA). But, I cannot tolerate Yankees fans.  I speak in general, because I have some good friends who are Yankees fans, but they, to me, are legitimate. A lot of people are just fans because they like the hats, they think that 'being from New York' is a good enough reason, or they had a boyfriend who was a fan. Those are all lame rationales. The real fans have Yankee blood, are die-hard at the games, and would get into a fight for any reason with a Red Sox fan. And, the same goes for any fan of a Major League team. But, even with the die hard Yankees fans, who would you pick to win in a fight:

a) a team who has won 26 World Series titles, feels entitled to win every year, buys whatever player looks best for exorbitant sums, and has more celeb and wall street fans, or - 

b) a team who has only won 7 World Series titles, had an 86 year drought (where it came very close a couple times only to be cursed), and whose fans are pub owners, dock workers, and a smattering of southies?

I think I take the more punished fan base with more blue collar types. Boston fans can beat the crap out of Yankee fans. Think about it. Do Red Sox fans fear being pummeled in New York if they go to cheer on their team? Now, thinking in the reverse, do New York fans fear going to Boston to cheer for the Yanks? The answer to the first is an obvious no, but the second is an obvious yes. Fenway is a smaller park, and sits deep in the heart of Red Sox Nation. In New York you still have Mets and Dodgers fans, and the people are more apathetic about their team. They've become desensitized because of their success. They feel entitled. And until that attitude stops, they will not win.

There is a reason the Yankees are called 'The Evil Empire.'

Pictures taken from: here and here and here.

Forgive me Ohio

Turns out I have estranged my Ohio friends. Not a shock to me. I apologize. That post was written in anger, frustration and bitterness. Ohio has good things. The Wright brothers, Neil Armstrong, The Drew Carey Show. I do not have anything against Ohio sports, I am just consistently frustrated with them losing. As I am frustrated with any of my teams losing. My alma mater, BYU, is a consistent choke artist and joke. It drives me crazy. I apologize to Ross, Man's Man, Bryant, Sayaka, and any others who claim Ohio as home. I love Ohio. But more when they aren't playing my teams in the playoffs. I am a masshole.