Smells Like John B

What, this blog still exists?

I know, I know. I've been derelict in my blog writing. Well, I was on vacation and no one else wanted to do it. But for the sake of time, let's skip the excuses and the jolt back to life by the Satire Report by the proverbial defibrillator.

I watched this hybrid music video combining the Beach Boy's "Sloop John B" with Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit". Worked pretty well. So you get "Smells like Sloop John B", or, I would call it "Smells like John B." Just has more of a zing to it and possibly offends more people:

Good Vibrations

I'm picking up good vibrations. 

There is a weird vibration from time to time that surges through my house. It shakes the floor, the windows, and consequently me and the furniture. And, of course it can only be one thing:

Someone is tunneling under my house. And, that someone is probably a spy. Just like the British and Americans did in Berlin under the wall to listen to the Russians in East Germany, someone is listening to me. And, aside from being worried, I'm actually quite flattered. 

I think that I should pretend that I don't know the spy is there. What I will do is make delicious pastries, roast beef, throw parties, and tempt the spy to come out of hiding. I'll make references to free extra passes to Disney World, extra sky miles to that I can't use to go to Australia because I'm busy, and a new dodge viper I won that I'm going to give to a charity as a tax deduction. If the spy is sane, he or she won't be able to resist.