Bashing the Pencil.

I think it's about time someone told you the truth about pencils.

They're lame.

You want an explanation? Try writing with one. We're talking endless sharpening, graphite on your hands (if you write a lot, and especially if you're a lefty), and splinters if you try to sharpen it without a legitimate sharpener (teeth usually are not, but every mouth is different). Now, I'd like to remind you that I'm only speaking of regular pencils. Don't even get me started on mechanical pencils (worst invention since the solar-powered flashlight). Remember these inventions?

(Yes, these are chocolates in the shape of pencils)

You might think I'm being harsh on pencils, but that's life. And, they're friggin' pencils. They can take it. And, they're not going anywhere any time soon. It's just that I ran out of writing implements the other day so I had to use a pencil, and it was like having the guy with the world's longest fingernails rasp on the roughest chalkboard ever made each stroke I took.

(What the heck is this? Seriously.)

And yes I know there are people who will come to the pencil's defense. Some people use them exclusively for their art. Some people use them to make science projects, obstacle courses, projectiles, and even use them as jewelry. Well, I am not one of those freaks. You might say I'm a different type of freak. The variety that doesn't care for pencils. I'm not an anti-pencilite. I just would rather use a pen. Or maybe a keyboard. And there you have it.

Go ahead pencilites. Convince me to join the ranks of your devoted graphite and wooden cult.

I don't even know what this is.

This however, is obvious.

The Void

This is blog post is a creative experiment. I figure if artists can break a urinal off a wall and call it art, then I can call this blog post the void. And by that I mean I will write nothing after this sentence (except after the artwork ends):

Wow. How breathtakingly fulfilling. I've discovered the meaning of life. I hope you feel enlightened. I'll tell you one thing. Picasso, Monet, and Rembrandt never came close to doing what I just did. Well, actually, Rembrandt kinda did with his sketches...

You could call that void a representation of the nothingness left in the wake of liberationist ideology (which ends up in a spiral of relativism). Freedom for the sake of freedom is nothing. There needs to be purpose, meaning, value, substance. Or, we could call the void the endlessness of space within finite confines (which is true in a sense). If you kept dividing the space by two you would never run out of space. Or, let's say the void is your brain on drugs. 

I'm so creative and artistic and good for kids.

Being a writer is a great way to get ladies

Today we begin with a quote. A quote that is more true than any other ever said. Even more true than Rene Descartes' "I think therefore I am". The quote is from Saul Bellow:

"All a writer has to do to get a woman is say he's a writer. It's an aphrodisiac."

Let me start by saying I have that quote on my facebook favorite quotes part of my bio. But that does not make it any less true. While many people consider themselves writers, there are only a few that are truly writers in the sense that Bellow means. A blog you might say, does not qualify someone as a writer. That might very well be true by itself in the same way that someone who writes a book, or pens a poem, is not necessarily a writer.

Why? Well, from my experience, most literate people can write, and do so to prove it from time to time. Some people are prolifically terrible at it, while others are secretly Shakespearian geniuses. I do not profess to be either, yet, I also don't profess to be a muddler who sits on the unenviable stool of mediocrity, unwilling to grovel with the commoners, but not tall enough to reach the stars. That being said, let's get to the meat of it. Why are writers (the real ones) so sexy?

Well, I tend to think it comes from their ability to express things in unique ways. They open up new worlds to us. They create fantasies, visions, and elucidate our aspirations and fears. They take us up and down through a whirlwind of words and thought showing us man's depravity and his capacity for excellence. But on the other hand, they're just innately better (I'm not going to prove that, just take it at face value).

Writers are subject to the same passions, vulnerabilities, lapses of judgment, and bouts of depression as anyone else. Perhaps even more so. And, perhaps because they are so often so close to the precipice women feel they can love them. Here today gone tomorrow. They live life through the pen and see things that others don't. But, you don't have to commit yourself to a writer. I suppose in a way you can't. A writer is only committed to his writing (a good one anyway). But doesn't that make writers a one trick pony? No. writing is not limited to itself. It envelopes everything else. It absorbs every follicle, dust mite, or great expanse that it wants. And, for any writer to articulate himself well, he needs to know it, see it, be it. His mind is a prism and the world is redefined through it. But just as the mind reinvents the world, both the world and the mind are catalysts depending on the moment.

But now for the real reason writers are so great. They are generally not the most amazing physical specimens, but yet, they offer a beauty that far surpasses the physical. And, if they are attractive people, their artful ability to paint the sky with words wraps them with a metaphorical Armani suit, complete with some fabulous cologne. 

I don't even need to make the suggestion that ladies should go after the writer. The ladies come to him. 

Inebriate Life

Sobriety is overrated. 

Some of the best art, music, and literature all came about while the author was semi-conscious, inebriate, high, doped up, or otherwise encumbered. That is not to say I condone making oneself delirious with illicit substances, but what it does mean is that I do not fear it, and recognize that it even happens with those who consider themselves "sober." Just think about it. If you're really tired, you're body starts to act as if it were drunk. Your speech becomes slurred; everything is funny; you're more relaxed; your social inhibitions start to fade. And, it's not a bad thing.

How many times have you woken up in the middle of the night with a fabulous idea, only to discover the next day that it was nonsensical or only half-conceived? 

But, on the other hand, sometimes those ideas are brilliant. There is a small path and gateway in between the conscious and subconscious mind. One side makes the other relevant, and both can act in a limited but ingenious concert. 

I write my best poems at night after just going to sleep. I solve logistical life problems often after being konked out a little while. So, in my less than sober insomniac state, I solve the seemingly insolvable problems of the conscious "real world." 

And, sometimes its just fun to ride a magic rocket ship with your dragon friends.