A Tribute to Blondness

Stereotypes are unfair right? Of course they are...sometimes...sort of. I mean, there are plenty of really intelligent blondes out there right? Well, after seeing a few videos on youtube, I'm starting to believe that blonde stereotypes are almost as concretely based in reality as say, gravity. Here are a few samplings:



Yes, France is a country.



This one is famously stupid, but is classic. I writhe in pain every time I watch it.



This commercial is marvelous.

A common misconception is that men prefer blondes to brunettes. But, the statistics say otherwise. But even if that were true, with instances like these, what makes blondes more attractive? Is it because they have more fun? Sure they say blondes have more fun, but do they know it? Here's a blonde lady washing her car (obviously having fun):



That should about wrap it up for our tribute to blondness. I hope you've all learned something.

The Dangers of Sledding: A How to Guide

Sledding is a very dangerous past time. Almost as dangerous as wearing skinny pants on a regular basis. Let me tell you why in list form:

1. You might fracture a bone in your hand (that's what I did wednesday, yet some how I'm still typing)

2. Cooking eggs with one hand is a challenge.

3. Showering, dressing oneself, and styling one's hair takes some unique creativity with one hand.

4. Peeling clementines and other citrus fruits becomes extremely taxing.

Now, if I may, let me cite some good things about sledding (to the point of breaking your hand):

1. You can't wash your own dishes.

2. You have a good excuse not to tie your shoes.

3. When you slip and fall on your untied shoelaces and break your other hand, women will faun on you.

4. If you're lucky, one of your attractive care takers will fall in love with you due to the Florence Nightingale syndrome.

On this last note I will expound. Let me begin by saying that breaking any bone is a bother. It's inconvenient. It even hurts and itches from time to time (although one of my high school wrestling coaches always said if it's itching then it's healing - but healing or not I want to scratch it). But, even with inconvenience comes benefit. I, for instance, plan to milk this injury as much as possible. I might even dictate blog posts to people, have people read to me, tie my shoes, wash my dishes, and occasionally give me massages. And, even if I get some questioning look from whoever is helping me, all I need to do is grab my hand, wince a little and then look back at them gratefully saying, "I really appreciate it. You're my favorite." In a couple of days or weeks I should have successfully started a romantic relationship. I mean, nothing says romance like spoon feeding an invalid (That's me).

Haircut

My hair is a commodity. It is a natural resource. And I am not about to entrust it to any unlicensed floozy who calls herself a 'stylist'. My hair needs to be managed by the best. There should be an entire federal department dedicated to my hairs' needs. 

That being said, I'm going to get a haircut today. Hopefully for free. By an unlicensed woman with scissors. It could be dangerous. Blood could be spilt. Hair will most certainly be lost. But the cost os $0 is hard to beat, so I'm taking the chance.