Saturday, May 17, 2008
Like, Love, Just do it.
I was talking to a friend the other day, as is my custom, and I asked her what I thought was a simple question with an easy answer. I asked, "Do you have your eye on anyone these days?" Translation: "Who do you like?" And, her response baffled me. I mean, I suppose there were only two ways to go on the question, but I generally assume the answer to be yes. So when she said no, I had to pry. And, upon a little prying discovered she did in fact like someone, but denied the possibility of it working out to herself, so refused to accept that she actually had feelings for this person. It was a self-protective attitude, that in my mind is not really self-serving, or hopeful.
We all like people. From day to day, moment to moment. It can be a physical attraction, an emotional attraction, or it can even be a spiritual attraction. There are many ways and reasons to like people. But, there is a distinct difference in my mind between like and love. Like is not deep. Like is not particularly committal. It's not. It's the possibility of future love, if the other side reciprocates and things work out. But it's okay to like people without reciprocation. And, here's a jump, but it's okay to love people without reciprocity. It hurts sure, but that's life. Life isn't running around in cloven meadows with flowers in your hair humming Beatles' songs (as euphoric as that might be, and I'm sure some of you and the cheeba may have actually experienced it on a regular basis). So, if you are asked if you like someone, it's okay to say yes. What are you afraid of? There is no need for fear. Let your heart go. Let it be wild. Let it be tempered only a little by your mind.
Now speaking from the other side, it is difficult to like or love. But rewarding. In your own mind you know why, who and how you'd like to see it turn out, but when you try to understand how they feel, unless they are straight forward (rare in my experience), you are left writhing in ambiguity and uncertainty. That's why being straight forward is kinder for both parties. If you are unwilling to say what you think and how you feel, you are not serving yourself or anyone else. It can torture people that you may not want a relationship out of, but with whom you still want to remain friends. So, the best way to deal with it is to be blunt. Don't play the game. There is no need for masks and hidden intentions. Be an open page, and expect the same. But of course, don't be surprised if you don't get what you want. But, fortunately there are people out there who feel the same and it's just a matter of time until things work out. Above all hope. And just live your life.