Shirking the Blog

Quite often I find myself shirking my blog because I just don't feel like writing. However, that's not entirely true. Sure, sometimes I'd rather be wiling the afternoon away in a hammock with a good book, drinking pineapple juice and listening to the sound of a midsummer rainstorm, but most often I don't write because I just don't want to make the effort. Or I think I might somehow not write up to my readers' expectations. Hopefully, that is always the case. I hope most of my posts are anticlimactic, and a waste of your time. I mean, you don't pay me enough to get A+ effort all the time. What am I saying? You don't pay me.

I just want to put up a thought, blurb, photo, series of photos, a clip, a satirical story, or something entirely random that makes you chuckle, guffaw, shoot milk out your nose, fall out of your chair, get mad, or make you cry yourself to sleep.

Guffawing with milk is not recommended. Neither is chuckling while crying yourself to sleep (that's just messed up). But then again, who are my readers? Maybe I should just make the assumption that they are all just as weird, quirky, and strange as I have a tendency to be on this blog.

Here are some photos:

In the computer.

You know what happens next.

Morbid? Yes. Funny? Yes.

Horses know how to guffaw.

And Peter Griffin knows how to make the most of his milk nose laughter.

Greatest Invention Since the Watering Can!

Throughout the history of mankind there have been great inventions. Man is an innovative, enterprising, clever being. Yet, man has made many silly inventions. Chin rests so you can sleep standing up, glasses with funnels for putting in eye drops, fake breasts for men who also want to nurse their kids, chopsticks with a built in fan to cool your noodles all come to mind.

Great for those long metro rides.

Because I'm too stupid to put them in my eyes directly and I like to waste money on bad eyewear.

He's a natural.

Then the fan fell into her soup spewing the scalding noodles all over her face.

However, as it turns out, today man has made a real breakthrough. Miraclegro in conjunction with Scott's Lawn products and world renowned geneticists are heralding the latest and greatest invention in landscaping since the watering can. Yes, they have invented self-trimming hedges.

These hedges come in all shapes and sizes, and will trim themselves according to your command. They're great for any special event, or just for fun.

Some are concerned that it will take work away from professional landscapers, and will ruin an art form that so many people in Disney World and Country Clubs have cultivated for years. But most are excited. Like me. Trimming the hedges is not that fun. Now they can trim themselves. However, I worry that they might start trimming other things. Like my cat. Little Shop of Horrors comes to mind.