Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Omnibus Post: Touching it all
This week has been a blog post explosion. This will be my seventh. And, I'm going to address a number of issues. First, I have ads on this site. You might have noticed that. Feel free to click on them if you're interested. Window shopping doesn't cost a thing. I promise. I know not all of you out there are interested in mormon dating, lingerie, dog food or Barack Obama t-shirts, but maybe you'll find something that strikes your fancy. Maybe a site where Obama is eating dog food in one of his own t-shirts, on a date with a mormon while wearing lingerie. Weirder things have happened.
Second, I want to say that manly men still do exist, although they are scarce. And, you do not have to move to Montana or Texas to find one. Massachusetts is chock-full of them, as is Virginia, West Virginia, New York and any other place in New England. You've got a great history there. That's right, the men from those states defeated the British, the greatest empire since Rome. What did Texas have to beat? A bunch of straggly Mexicans. Not so impressive. Another reason the east and New England is better than either of the aforementioned states is because of our proximity to the ocean and the fact that we know how to live in it. The ocean makes up 2/3 of the globe, and Texans and Montana residents are land-lubbers.
Third, I do not have a great affinity for Cleveland right now. I am watching the Celtics vs. Cavaliers and we are down by 11. I effing hate Lebron, Varejao and all of their spot up jumping a-holes. It's our home court. We better eff 'em up good. As I have been typing we just cut it down to 6. Yeah B. There is no excuse for a loss. I want to crush those midwesterners and their aspirations to climb out of the mediocrity bowl. Garnett needs to step up.
Fourth, Ikea furniture is a joke. Engineered in Sweden, made in China. Cheap all around. People think it's cool. People also think McDonalds is cool. From time to time people are right, but Ikea and McDonalds lack class. Not that I'm the king of class, but when I break a cup or plate made by Ikea I don't really feel bad. And, I kinda want to do it again. I support America. I buy American when possible. To be honest, I'd rather support the Vietnamese than the Swedish. That's why I buy CK, Dockers, Kenneth Cole and Hilfiger.
Fifth, if you're gonna have a wedding make sure it's not just cake. I don't care if you have 10 different kinds of cake. I, as a poor college student, go to weddings for the food. And, if it has to be cake, there better be an attractive woman popping out of it. I need to be honest. I'm glad my friends are getting married, but I want to see a couple steaks, shrimp or at least deli sandwiches. I went to one recently that had nothing but sugar and fluff. Gag. I promise my wedding will have good food (if I ever get married).
Sixth, I'm sorry this sounds like a column of straight up bitching. That's not my intention. I just want to give you a piece of my mind. A hearty, healthy, Campbell's Soup, manly man from Boston who loves America piece. Eat up.