December 18th: A day in Pictures

Today I am posting a bunch of random pictures. Some might be weird, funny, stupid or all of the above. Enjoy:

First Section - Weird/Crazy People:

Yikes. Baby mad.

I don't even know.

You all remember this episode (It could happen to any of us).

Great Wig.

French kissing your pet chameleon (totally your prerogative)

And now the section of random monkeys:

That one monkey seems genuinely concerned about the other's obesity problem.

This monkey wears glasses and sports a chain.

Section of random inanimate objects and bad signage:

Well that's unfortunate (and it was ironically David Beckham's car)

This tree looks a lot like a woman (tree nymph maybe).

Thank you for the warning.

I really don't know what to say.

A lego version of Stephen Hawking

Soon to be my favorite book.

The cat section:

Sucker.

Hahaha. Life as we know it is over.

Tiny Tim not really Tiny or named Tim

During this holiday season we read stories, decorate, chop down trees and put them in our house, darn socks, roast chestnuts, have fires in the fireplace, go caroling, bake cookies, and do a lot of things we otherwise would not. We believe in toy making elves, and overweight sled riders who bring presents by going down the chimney. We believe in mistletoe's magical power to bring lips together, and we believe that flat screen TVs are a necessity. However, I'd like to go a little bit counter current. I know I never do, so this should shock you.

You should all be familiar with Charles Dicken's A Christmas Carol. It is probably one of the most oft-recited and most often readapted to TV specials of any other Christmas story. Even the Christmas story with "You'll Shoot Your Eye Out," "Fudge," and that stupid kid getting his tongue stuck to a poll doesn't come close to "bah humbug!" or Tiny Tim's "God bless us, everyone!" 

But, I have some news that might shock you. After some investigative journalism (and by that I mean the idea popped in my head with no references, research or anything), I have discovered the truth about Tiny Tim. As it turns out, his name was not really Tim, nor was he tiny. Tiny Tim was in fact an obese savant named Mark. Whether he was called Tiny Tim to be ironic, or to be endearing we may never know.

Tiny Tim did not in fact use crutches (although he tried several times to no avail). The best Bob Cratchit could do for his son was tie him up with the rope and winch at the town well. And this merely shows how good a man Mr. Cratchit was because, as you now know, Tiny Tim, or should I say Mark, was not crippled, but just overweight. But, to repay his father's kindness, Mark would make perfect clay models of animals with his teeth (that was his gift apparently). Then, Mr. Cratchit would sell these clay models and give the money to a nearby orphanage. 

Mr. Scrooge on the other hand was as big of a jerk as he appears in the book, and in TV adaptations. True to form, he didn't care much for his employees and in fact was very cruel to Mark. He had a fear of fat people and is believed to have come up with the name Tiny Tim to calm his nerves whenever he was pestered by Mr. Cratchit's humble pleadings for time off or bonuses.

So there you have it. That is the truth about the beloved Christmas tale. Merry Christmas! And as Mark the obese savant said, his mouth all full of clay, "God bless us, everyone!"

So what if me and the colonel know each other on a first name basis?

Obesity. It's a serious problem in this country. It's almost a world-wide epidemic. 

Now, that being said, it's bad enough to be called 'obese', but then why do doctors, lawmakers, and other people need to sub-classify some people as 'morbidly obese'? Either you're obese or you're not. Do we really need to attach scary adverbs like morbidly? It makes the person feel like they are not only fat, but part of a freaky haunted house at a bad halloween party. Guess what?! That fat isn't a halloween costume, and this isn't a Stephen King novel. Saying morbidly obese is just uncaring. 

So I think we should reclassify these people in a more PC way. 

Perhaps saying they are 'weight impaired'. Or, maybe 'the more blessedly obese'. Or 'the reason we have good NFL lineman'.

Running Revisited

Some of you might recall a post I wrote a couple weeks ago about running.  It basically said how I think running for the sake of running is pointless.  I said that if I'm not doing something productive with that running, like playing ultimate frisbee, lacrosse, or even baseball, there is no point to it.  Well, I'm starting to come around.

I've been running more lately.  Not every day.  But a lot of days.  And, even though I am reluctant to put on my running shoes some mornings, once I put them on and am out there running, I like it.  I feel like a locomotive.  The Queen song, 'Don't Stop Me Now' comes to mind.  So I've decided running can be therapeutic.  However, I run alone.  I think I might be able to jog with a buddy, but running is different.  I try to keep an even keel, solid pace, but I think my speed varies quite a bit depending on the distance I've traveled and how close I am to the end.  So, I think anyone running with me would probably get pretty frustrated.  Jogging on the other hand really isn't exercise, but a social event, and maybe it gets your heart rate up a little bit.  Jogging is for old people, people with bad knees, or people who are morbidly obese, or guys who want to have an excuse to go somewhere with good-looking women.  I know I used to do that.  All freshman year in college.

At any rate, I recommend running to most people.  And, if you have bad knees or a bad back go on the eliptical machine at the gym, or go swimming.