Bravo Bahrain: Bidet Hoses!

Something I already know I’m going to miss when I leave Bahrain is the bidet hose by the toilet. Never have I felt so clean after a luxurious perch upon the porcelain throne. I don’t know when or where someone decided the West had to stick with simply toilet paper, but obviously Bahrain didn’t get the memo. The Japanese and their Toto toilets seem to indicate that Bahrain is not alone in its use of water for anus sanctification.

America, God bless her, hacked her way out of the wilderness with her own two hands, bearing her children along the way…and she used what she could to get the job done: leaves, sage, newspaper, and now, deluxe super soft toilet paper. I suppose in the western states this is somewhat understandable given water scarcity, but in the east they could have thrown a bidet or bidet hose in from time to time.

It’s just funny because Bahrain has pretty much used up its natural aquifers and gets at least 70% of its water from desalination; yet, they’re all about the butt hygiene. And at least for that, I applaud them.

In case you needed a visual on proper usage.

AFTERWORD

Turns out, after a little research, using a y-gate attachment, you can hook up a bidet hose to any toilet. Looks like this good idea is coming back home with me.

Happy Fourth of July!: Independence vs. Dependence

Happy fourth of July! I hope you all are enjoying, or planning on enjoying some delicious BBQ with friends and family, then watching some fireworks somewhere (maybe even lighting of few of your own). But, let's not forget that while those things are fun, tasty, etc., they are not what this day is all about. This day is about independence. It is about freedom. It is about making a choice to believe in the unlimited capacity of the human spirit.

This is not dependence day. We do not need the government to provide us with internet, healthcare, retirement benefits, or anything but the opportunity to get those things ourselves. Tell me - was the iphone created because some lawmaker appropriated funds to some government entity and told them to create the world's coolest phone? Tell me - did the best computers in the world come about because of the government? Tell me - Did we become the largest, most innovative economy in the world because of government regulation and intervention? No. It was because of freedom. It was because our forefathers believed that private individuals live happiest and produce the most when they are not tethered to an oppressive government. That is why we separated from England!

In America everyone can be great. We encourage, and offer the opportunity from the bottom up, not top down. Stifling success to spread wealth and make everyone equal just lowers the quality of life and possibilities for everyone. However, letting people be free to innovate, create, be self-motivated, responsible, and allowing them to believe in themselves will make everyone prosperous. It has for 230 plus years. Let's maintain that trend.

God Bless America! Happy Birthday Lady Liberty!

Happy Memorial Day!

I hope everyone is having a great memorial day. I know I posted about it before, but this day is a truly special one in the United States. Many think of it as merely an extended weekend in which to have barbecue with friends, but I would hope that many more know its true significance. 

Memorial Day is a national holiday in the US, and is designated as such so that we may honor those who have fought for our freedom and way of life for hundreds of years. We honor the valiant and noble young men and women who have donned the uniforms of our armed forces from every generation and every war - from the Revolutionary War to the present day wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. 

Our hearts go out to those who have lost loved ones, and our souls fill with pride and honor as we remember the great ones who have preceded us in fighting for such a magnificent dream. America is and should always remain a land of hope, freedom, justice, honor, and courage. 

It is such a simple thing in comparison to all that they have done - to honor their service on one day of the year. To wear the red, white, and blue. To wave a little flag. To salute the fallen, and to thank those active duty military members today. 

Today I helped coordinate the National Memorial Day Parade in Washington, DC. I think it was a marvelous success. All of the branches of the military were honored with bands, flags, musical numbers, honored guests, dignitaries and thousands of Washingtonians, Brazilians, Belgians, Kuwaitis, and many other nationalities. I wish you all could have been there, but I'm hopeful that you had your own parade or traditional celebration of some kind in your own hometown. God Bless you, America, and the Troops, both fallen and those still with us.

Opening Day: God Bless America

Although yesterday was supposed to be the big day, today is has taken its place as opening day for Red Sox baseball. Now I know some of you are Yankees fans. Some of you are Padres fans. Some of you do not care one way or the other. But, today I hope we can relish in the fact that although we are in a severe economic downturn, are facing two wars more than 10,000 miles away, and have looming issues with Russia, China, Iran, North Korea, and terrorist organizations, we can still prop our feet up, sit back, and sip a drink and watch baseball. God bless America, and God bless our troops.

Oh, and the Red Sox won.

Canada invades Sweden!

Beware all Swedish people! The Canadians are coming. And, they are coming in the form of red, gelatin candies. They are trying to disguise themselves as, you guessed it, Swedish Fish.

But these are not real Swedish fish my friends. The do not speak your language, or even the language of your fish. They speak a watered down French and a backwoodsy english. They are trying to get at your caribou, snowmobiles, skiing, and cruise lines. Yes they have their own, but they couldn't just stick with what they've got. They want Swedish caribou! Your precious reindeer friends will be absconded with in the 24 hour broad daylight! 

Don't be fooled by their misleading advertisements that say they are "soft and chewy" or "a fat free food." They're carefully and methodically numbing your senses with gooey gelatinous goodness. And, what's worse is - they're funded by Cadbury Adams USA LLC. That means that they have unlimited resources of American monopoly money. Two thirds of the North American continent is after you Sweden. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Candle Light Potato Dinners

There are many vegetables in the world, but only one potato (excluding the hundreds or even thousands of varieties). The potato is our friend. The average British person consumes 200 pounds of them a year. And, it is America's favorite vegetable. We eat them with our hamburgers as french fries. We eat them with our deli sandwiches as potato salad. We eat them with our breakfast as hash browns and in omelettes.

So then, why with the vegetable being so popular have we not reverenced it and given it a special place at our tables? Why must we sit at a dimly lit table by a veranda overlooking Venice with pasta and salad, instead of a giant baked potato? The answer is simple. We don't.

We can have a splendidly romantic evening with whoever we are wining and dining with just a little music, lighting, and a potato. I must say from experience, that it brings out the best in people. It goes down smoothly and agrees with the stomach much better than salad, making the opportunity for a perhaps more extended romantic evening. The potato has a special magic to it. It has texture and poise, and is beloved by millions. With a potato, you cannot go wrong. Perhaps this year, instead of a bouquet of roses for Valentine's Day, you get her something she'll really appreciate. A sack full of potatoes.

Independence Day

There are floats, parades, rodeos, mud wrestling bouts, pie-eating contests, flags, salutes, hot rods, hot dogs, hamburgers, fireworks, fire crackers, bands, orchestras, random government officials, and of course, much merriment. And that's it. It's all about the fun. It's all about the noise and rowdy exuberance.

The only reason we celebrate independence and years of strife, conflict, blessings and freedom is to have a decent excuse to throw a rager. We, as Americans need to party. We need a national birthday party complete with all the grandiose things and plenty of our rugged American shadiness. We need the Boston Pops playing as the Charles River lights up from firework barges. We need excess grilling, more burning of wood, charcoal, and anything that will make a fizzle. We need exotic dancers twirling patriotic batons and cowgirls decked out in Mary Kay and ribbons.


We deserve it. God bless America.

The Lexington Project

John McCain recently announced a bold new initiative if elected President of the United States. It is called the 'Lexington Project'. Similar to the Manhattan Project and other the Apollo Missions to the moon, it calls upon the American people to put in their best efforts and put their collective minds together to bring about a solution to a growing problem. That problem is Energy.


Most people, if not all, want cheap, efficient, reliable, and clean energy. Those who don't generally just want to line their pockets with the money of other people without just recompense. To achieve this affordable, efficient, and clean energy will take a lot of work. John McCain believes however, as I do, that our country can and should be energy independent by 2025.

What this means is that we continue to encourage the development of clean coal, and the prudent use of our oil, gas, and coal reserves. It also means that concurrently we must continue to develop green energy like ethanol, wind, and solar power. And, it means that we need to make a greater push to nuclear power, which, with our vast uranium fields, makes sense. To many, the energy picture is seen as mutually exclusive. Or we develop green solutions, or we stick with fossil fuels. This is a false dichotomy. We can use the fossil fuel we have in a clean way, while developing other energy sources and technologies. In fact, this is the only way we are going to be able to make a smooth transition. If we stopped using our fossil fuel altogether we would run out of plastic, automobiles, medicines, and everyday conveniences at an alarming rate. And, on top of that, vast oil and coal reserves which serve no other purpose than to be consumed, would sit idle.

This is not a call for increased consumption, but a call to consume less, and produce more. We need innovators to refine the process of converting excess wood, corn, garbage, and wheat bi-products into useful energy sources, thereby circumventing the problem of using the corn we eat, and the trees we use for paper. We need innovators to find ways of accessing our oil and coal deposits without depleting the environment. We need to find better ways to sustainable clean energy. There is progress being made, but it involves an educated and motivated populace. We can do it!


Currently we receive 40% of our oil from our own blessed country in the US. That number can be increased by careful exploration and extraction from both rich deposits recently found off the gulf coast of the US and the vast reserves we own in Alaska. There is also a new microbial procedure which makes old oil wells 90% more effective. It involves putting these microbes into the well, and having them consume certain chemicals and minerals that attach to the crude, allowing the crude to concentrate and push to the surface. This, my friends is innovation! Solar power is vastly unresearched and unused. Wind power is only mildly used. Alaska, in recent years and months has put more research into creating energy by tapping the raw power of its volcanoes! This is innovation. We need more of this. We need to stop throwing billions of dollars into the pockets of tyrannical regimes like that of Venezuela and Iran. We need to be energy independent to maintain our economic superiority and to be good stewards of this great land in which we live. I believe in America, and I know we can do it.

Sign the petition.

This Bud's not for you

I don't like the Belgian-Brazilian brewery know as Inbev. After having offered $46 billion for America's heart and soul, Anheuser-Busch, and getting a straight up "hell no," they are trying a hostile takeover of an American icon. Here is an excerpt from the article I read the other day about it:

"InBev, the world’s largest brewer, said on Thursday it would launch a hostile bid for Anheuser-Busch as its US rival rejected its $46bn bid as “financially inadequate”.

In court documents filed in the Court of Chancery in Delaware, InBev said it was preparing to launch a proxy battle seeking the removal of Anheuser’s entire board, citing “delays and apparent plans to attempt to block the acquisition”.

Shortly after the filing, Anheuser formally rejected InBev’s offer. August Busch IV, Anheuser’s chief executive, suggested in a letter to Carlos Brito, InBev’s chief executive, that the Belgian-Brazilian group was seeking to take advantage of the low level of the dollar and subdued US stock markets with an offer that undervalued Anheuser’s earnings potential."

That's not all. Read this:

"InBev’s court filing said that it had been told by Mr Busch before launching the bid that he was opposed to any offer, and that Anheuser was “not for sale”. Mr Busch, according to InBev, also said he and his board were committed to the company’s independence."

I say, "Here, here, Mr Busch, this bud's for you." Let's keep Anheuser-Busch's 50% of the beer market share in control of
America, not some Belgian-Brazilian interlopers who are only taking advantage of a soft market and a weak dollar.


The funny part is, I don't drink beer. I don't drink - period. However, I would hate to see such an American icon get sold off to another Multinational Corporation without a soul. Remember the Budweiser Clydesdales? Remember all the commercials about Budweiser being the King of Beers, and American made? Well, guess what, giving the stockholders 10 bucks more a share isn't worth selling out on America and it's favorite beer. Don't worry shareholders, Anheuser-Busch has a plan to slim down and become very profitable in the next couple years. Give them a chance. Inbev is trying a hostile takeover against August Busch IV and his entire board. They don't care about American jobs, they just want a huge stake in the American beer market at a low price. Don't give in. We need at least 76% of you to hold firm.

Here's the full article.