The Tonsils, Appendix, and Wisdom Teeth Conspiracy

I am a proud owner of both a set of tonsils, and one appendix. Unfortunately "they" took my wisdom teeth. This in part explains why my IQ has dropped from when I was a child. However, I am sure to be an anomaly. Many people have no tonsils, no appendices, and no wisdom teeth. And, given that the appendix is an organ that used to help us fly, and tonsils are remnants of a second set of teeth like in the Alien movies, and wisdom teeth used to activate previously unknown parts of the human brain, "they" are winning. 

But who are "they"? Some might have us believe that "they" are a clan of ninjas. Others might have us believe that "they" are black market organ/body part cartels. And still others might like us to think that "they" are the government. I'm inclined to think that's what "they" want us to think. The truth is probably much darker. Perhaps they are a black market ninja cartel that traffics useless organs and body parts and is propped up by the government. Which government you ask? Does it matter? Well, possibly. And it's probably the Venezuelans, ie: Chavez.

You might be asking yourself, "Why do I care about wisdom teeth, appendices, and tonsils?" Or perhaps you think that your doctor just took them out to save your life, all the while making an easy grand off your teeth, appendix or tonsils, making you dumber, less likely to ever fly on your own, and preventing you from taking over planet earth as an alien. Well I hate to say it, but it matters, and this issue is more pressing than you know.

I will cite some examples. My room mate had his appendix removed the first day of this semester. Then a friend of his thought she had to have her appendix removed too. It was like a virus. When I had my wisdom teeth removed my freshman year of college before I went to Brazil, the dentist said only one could have possibly caused trouble for me, but he took three. Then all of my other friends got their wisdom teeth out about the same time, with similar stories. Of course the dentist's cover is that he just wanted more money, which is true, but the dentists are making even more money on top of the money they charge per tooth. And who pays that money to them? "They". 

And, when the dentist said one of my wisdom teeth could have caused trouble, what did he mean? Was it trouble for me? Or trouble for "they"? You see, if I had kept my wisdom teeth I could probably have found out the master plan of "they". But "they" got to me first. Just like they got to my room mate, and to anyone else who gets their appendix removed. Did "they" think that we would mobilize an army of flying genius aliens and monopolize all the Citgo stations? Maybe. Maybe. 

At any rate, we're onto you Chavez.

The Lexington Project

John McCain recently announced a bold new initiative if elected President of the United States. It is called the 'Lexington Project'. Similar to the Manhattan Project and other the Apollo Missions to the moon, it calls upon the American people to put in their best efforts and put their collective minds together to bring about a solution to a growing problem. That problem is Energy.


Most people, if not all, want cheap, efficient, reliable, and clean energy. Those who don't generally just want to line their pockets with the money of other people without just recompense. To achieve this affordable, efficient, and clean energy will take a lot of work. John McCain believes however, as I do, that our country can and should be energy independent by 2025.

What this means is that we continue to encourage the development of clean coal, and the prudent use of our oil, gas, and coal reserves. It also means that concurrently we must continue to develop green energy like ethanol, wind, and solar power. And, it means that we need to make a greater push to nuclear power, which, with our vast uranium fields, makes sense. To many, the energy picture is seen as mutually exclusive. Or we develop green solutions, or we stick with fossil fuels. This is a false dichotomy. We can use the fossil fuel we have in a clean way, while developing other energy sources and technologies. In fact, this is the only way we are going to be able to make a smooth transition. If we stopped using our fossil fuel altogether we would run out of plastic, automobiles, medicines, and everyday conveniences at an alarming rate. And, on top of that, vast oil and coal reserves which serve no other purpose than to be consumed, would sit idle.

This is not a call for increased consumption, but a call to consume less, and produce more. We need innovators to refine the process of converting excess wood, corn, garbage, and wheat bi-products into useful energy sources, thereby circumventing the problem of using the corn we eat, and the trees we use for paper. We need innovators to find ways of accessing our oil and coal deposits without depleting the environment. We need to find better ways to sustainable clean energy. There is progress being made, but it involves an educated and motivated populace. We can do it!


Currently we receive 40% of our oil from our own blessed country in the US. That number can be increased by careful exploration and extraction from both rich deposits recently found off the gulf coast of the US and the vast reserves we own in Alaska. There is also a new microbial procedure which makes old oil wells 90% more effective. It involves putting these microbes into the well, and having them consume certain chemicals and minerals that attach to the crude, allowing the crude to concentrate and push to the surface. This, my friends is innovation! Solar power is vastly unresearched and unused. Wind power is only mildly used. Alaska, in recent years and months has put more research into creating energy by tapping the raw power of its volcanoes! This is innovation. We need more of this. We need to stop throwing billions of dollars into the pockets of tyrannical regimes like that of Venezuela and Iran. We need to be energy independent to maintain our economic superiority and to be good stewards of this great land in which we live. I believe in America, and I know we can do it.

Sign the petition.