Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Canada invades Sweden!

Beware all Swedish people! The Canadians are coming. And, they are coming in the form of red, gelatin candies. They are trying to disguise themselves as, you guessed it, Swedish Fish.
But these are not real Swedish fish my friends. The do not speak your language, or even the language of your fish. They speak a watered down French and a backwoodsy english. They are trying to get at your caribou, snowmobiles, skiing, and cruise lines. Yes they have their own, but they couldn't just stick with what they've got. They want Swedish caribou! Your precious reindeer friends will be absconded with in the 24 hour broad daylight! 

Don't be fooled by their misleading advertisements that say they are "soft and chewy" or "a fat free food." They're carefully and methodically numbing your senses with gooey gelatinous goodness. And, what's worse is - they're funded by Cadbury Adams USA LLC. That means that they have unlimited resources of American monopoly money. Two thirds of the North American continent is after you Sweden. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

1 comment:

squirrelyearl said...

Those silly Canadians! Conquering other nations through candy, not a bad idea. I'll have to use it sometime.