EXTREME TEXTING! LOL WTF. TTYL.

We live in a world of extremes. Extreme temperatures, extreme politics, and of course, extreme sports. But there is a way to become part of the extreme fun without going inside a volcano, fomenting an insurrection, or doing a 1080 on a riding lawnmower while jumping a tank of alligators.

How?

Extreme texting.

Not to be confused with extreme ironing.

No, I don't mean texting from your car while driving on the interstate (not extreme, just dumb). Neither do I mean sending texts from outer space. No. If you want to be an extreme texter you have to think outside of the box. Beyond 160 characters. Beyond human. For instance, let's say you wanted to involve space travel while texting. Well, no one cares if you send a text from space, but if you send a monkey or an overweight orangutan to text from the moon, that is extreme.

Becoming a zombie, and then texting is not extreme, especially if you work at Best Buy.

The possibilities don't end there though. You could also text from inside the belly of a shark. How? Figure it out. This is not rocket surgery. You could also text while doing a contortionist stunt while being launched out a torpedo tube on a submarine. And if that doesn't float your boat, then create the world's largest cruise ship/cell phone (ie: a cell phone that is also a cruise ship or vice versa) then become a jet pilot and launch missles at the keypad so that it sends a message to your grandma in Pocatello.

Texting while squatting on a manhole cover and eating icecream is pretty extreme (especially once the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles jump out and surprise her with some pizza)

Yeah. Sweeeeet.

Al Franken steals a senate seat

It's days like today that make me glad I don't live in Minnesota. It seems that Franken has been declared the winner after a shifty, inconsistently run recount that added votes to only his camp and subtracted votes from Coleman's. As it turns out, the message we can learn from this is that some people's votes can be counted multiple times without any one batting an eye, while others cannot have their vote count at all. That's democracy inaction. Here's an article about it in the Wall Street Journal.

However, it's not all about recount irregularities. As it turns out, the man in charge of the recount, Secretary of State Mark Ritchie, has used his sway to tell the canvassing boards to halt the count of the disputed ballots, and declare Franken the victor. Bear in mind that only a few weeks ago Franken was talking about having every vote counted. Now, as it turns out he only wanted votes in his favor counted, and when he got his politically motivated result, he wanted the process stopped.

I'm sure some of you think that I'm just bothered because Coleman did not win. That is not true. I would be fine with either candidate taking the seat with a legitimate recount. But that's not what happened here. This is almost like Chicago or Louisiana politics. No longer is the democratic process reified, but it is abused, extorted, thwarted, and in essence nullified. Unfortunately there is no legal ground to just hold another election, which, in my opinion would be the fairest course, given how miserably tainted the recount has been. So, it seems that if you have the secretary of state, and a couple of district canvassing boards on your side, you can make the election work out in your favor and steal a senate seat. It doesn't matter if the recount shows more votes than there are voters in the precinct. You've got your result.

What is your perspective?

How important is perspective? How important is attitude? Can one overcome the other? Are they the same?

I would insist that we all have different perspectives on life, politics, religion, sports, family, banana cream pie, teatherball, compost piles, milk jugs, and Marfan's syndrome. We develop our perspectives from within and without. We can only partially affect them. We don't choose what we see, or even always in what light we see it, but our attitude can spin it for us, and even change reality as we know it. Here are a few good examples to frustrate you:

Is it a cube? Is it a box? Are you a cube? A box? Or a square? 

The answer is yes.

On which set of stairs do you find yourself? Do you even take the stairs? Did you know that going up stairs is better on your knees than going down? Are you bald with no face like Escher's people in this drawing?

Are you looking at the painting? Or is the painting looking at you? Or are you looking at a painting of someone looking at a painting that is also looking at him, and possibly you? Do you prefer nyquil or codine?

Think about it. Just like the Flight of the Conchords prescribe.

Last Night's Amazing Thing

Last night something happened.

You might think, "Yeah, and so what? Things happen." Well this thing that happened was amazing. It was empowering. It was unfathomable. Well, maybe not unfathomable, or amazing. But it was life-changing, glorious, edible, fecund, green, and fascinatingly bourgeois. Well, not edible, or green, or glorious. Ok, what happened wasn't really that exciting.

The front blinds on our big window we drawn closed and all the lights were off in the house. Some might think that means we're asleep, or not home. Some might be wrong. My brother and I were in fact watching an episode of one of my favorite shows, Boston Legal. And, our blinds are missing one little piece that gives us inside a glimpse of our front lawn. So, as we were watching, my brother noticed out of the corner of his eye through the open slit in the blinds people frantically running back and forth on our front lawn. He didn't mention this to me until after the show of course, because he's so considerate. 

When he told me that they were putting signs up I got a bit flustered. The reason I was bothered was because I thought it was an old room mate who I had gotten into a quarrel with over a political sign. So we went outside and ripped them all out and put them into a pile and waited. Not too long after we sat down to watch another episode, a dark figure came to our door. We peeked out the window. We couldn't make out who it was. The person was leaning on the door, so my brother walked over, gave the door a yank and we got our prankster. And, it wasn't my old room mate. I cannot say who we caught that night, but it was a victory for us. 

Props to the Prop that's propping the Prop

(Sasha Baron Cohen (Borat) crashes the party)

Out here in Provo, and I'm sure in other cities, counties, and states people have been promoting ballot initiatives. But, the interesting part for me is how many people here have no idea what initiatives or representatives are on their local ballot, but yet are deeply informed about California's ballot propositions. And, particularly prop 8. 

I am not saying that you cannot, nor should not be interested in other states' initiatives, but I find it somewhat hypocritical to be promoting one, while having little to know knowledge about your own. The argument could be made that I shouldn't listen to you on the mere grounds that you have no idea what is on your own ballot. Of course I don't entirely believe that, because your knowledge of local politics does not transcend your moral and religious convictions, which are indeed important. 

But here are some of the things that irked me a little bit, perhaps because of their zealotry, and perhaps because most of these people have never been politically inclined or willing to galvanize themselves over any prior issue, which may have had just as much import. These are some examples of facebook status lines and even text messages that I saw and received:

Voted! Yes on Prop 8!

Pray for prop 8.

Join with us and fast for prop 8

so and so has donated their status to remind everyone to vote Yes on Prop 8 today.

Yes on Prop 8!!!

hoping CA votes yes on prop 8!

is voting yes on prop 8!

*PrOp 8*8 pRoP

already voted Yes on prop 8 two weeks ago. And believe it or not, I'm not ignorant nor discriminatory... I even have two gay friends.

YES ON PROP 8! AND PROP 102 FOR ARIZONA!

reminds everyone to VOTE YES ON PROP 8!!!

VOTE VOTE VOTE! Mccain & YES to Prop. 8!!!!

is praying and fasting for the election. YES on Prop 8 and other important values!

Then there were people like me, who wanted to point out the perhaps unintended ridiculousness of it all:

Yes on 8... and 1A, 2, 5, 7, 9, 11 No on 3, 4, 6, 10, 12. Oh yeah... and John Galt for President.

And here was mine:

Michael gives props to props and those voting for props. He likes prop 345365462634523456345623.

So, any thoughts?

Election fatigue, again.

Politics.

The study of politics is a very important subject, that has unfortunately been smeared by hypocrites who paint themselves as angels and in truth are demons.  

People cringe when they hear the word, and often absolve themselves from conversations touching on anything even remotely related to their perception of what it is. However, politics are a part of our day to day life, our conversations, relations, and all interactions. There are the politics of the family, the politics of our immediate social circles, the politics of our home towns, the politics of our states and nations, and international politics. But what fatigues us is not its study, but rather the corruptive nature of competitive "balance of power" politics.

Most people at this point in the presidential election are fatigued. They are fatigued by the attempts of both candidates to paint the other in a negative light, using flimsy arguments and half-truths. Both are equally guilty. In commercials aired by both candidates, allegations have been made that cannot be completely dismissed, but cannot be completely denied. And, unfortunately, this is why they continue to distort facts. If they both can claim transparency, and be nothing but opaque, why should they stop, if it will win them the election? 

People in general do not want to do a lot of research by themselves to determine which candidate most closely adheres to their personal beliefs. They want it easy. They expect that campaign commercials, CNN and Fox will fill them in enough. Well, good luck with that. Here's a link provided to me by a commenter on my previous post that debunks and rates the truthfulness of different campaign smears from both candidates. Whether it helps or not I do not know, but I hope so.

Spin Doctors

Perhaps you remember the band 'Spin Doctors' who wrote a song popular in the late nineties called 'Two Princes.' Perhaps you don't. To make it easier, it's that song that says, "Just go ahead now," a lot, after just about every line in the refrain.  

Some of you like spin. Well, I just don't get you. Even if it does make for a cool song. 

I read an article today about a computer program that measured the amount of spin in politician's speeches. I don't know how the algorithm works exactly, but I do know it measures inflection on certain words like 'I', 'we', as well as 'go', 'going', 'hate', and 'enemy'. Here are the results:

So, whether you like it or not, spin is real. Some can use it effectively, like Obama, and others not so much, like McCain. Whether that is a real advantage is debatable. Either way, the Spin Doctors say: "Just go ahead now."

PS - M. Obama is Michelle, for those of you who are confused. I was for about 3 seconds, thinking perhaps it was one of his Kenyan relatives.

I am a feminist

(These ladies pushing for women's rights look a lot more like Palin, than Hillary - baby and all)

Let me just start by saying, the Los Angeles Times is the most biased newspaper in America. Secondly, aside from the fact that it rarely seeks to be even remotely objective in its 'news reporting,' the quality of its news, sources, and even opinions leaves much to be desired.

I was reading an editorial from the LA Times this morning. It started off with a sneering remark from Gloria Steinem in reference to Sarah Palin: "Here's the good news: Women have become so politically powerful that even the anti-feminist right wing - the folks with a headlock on the Republican Party - are trying to appease the gender gap with a first-ever female vice president." NEWS FLASH to Steinem: You don't have to be a democrat, or a liberal to be a feminist. SECOND NEWS FLASH: You don't have to be a woman to be a feminist.

But if that were all Steinem had said I may have just chuckled, but she decided to hit the same old talking points about Palin. She's inexperienced, she is from a small state, her record. All of her points have been addressed thoroughly. Don't tell me Biden has more experience. If we're comparing legislative experience to executive experience she wins. And, executive versus legislative is like apples versus oranges. And, personally I think Palin will win any debate with him easily.

But let me get back to my news flashes. I am a devout feminist. I believe that women not only can do the jobs that men do, but should and can many times do them better. I also believe strong women who know what they want are the most attractive people the human race has to offer. Now, it is true that I am a registered republican. However, that is more for convenience than anything else. I more closely affiliate myself with the Libertarian party, and the conservative branch of it. More John Stuart Mill than Barr. But, as a republican I am painted as some chauvinistic, overweight, white, CEO of a Fortune 500 company. Guess what folks? I'm not. I am probably only one of those things, and being white isn't a crime yet in this country. And, I might get fat someday. But generally speaking, the republican party is made up of average everyday Americans who simply believe in limited government, strong families, religious freedom, free markets, and moral consciousness. Most people who have studied the history of the world, politics, and the United States know that our roots in this country go back to classic 19th century liberalism, which is almost a mirror of those attributes I just listed. 

We trust the government, but keep it in check because we don't entirely trust it. It needs to protect us from foreign oppressors and injustice, create a some what decent and functional infrastructure, but otherwise stay out of our business. That is the American way. Sometimes we forget that, and believe the government should rock us in our cribs in our infancy and then hover over our bedsides at death. That cradle to grave mentality is irresponsible and wrong. We have agency, our own minds, opinions, and capabilities. The government is just a framework. 

But, before I get too far along with my praise for the ideals of our forebears, let me return to feminism, and equality. Question: Which party freed the slaves? Answer: The republican party. Question: Which party founded the policy idea of environmental responsibility and the national park system? Answer: The republican party. Question: Which party put the first woman on the supreme court? Answer: The republican party. Question: Which party put more minorities in its Presidential cabinet for the past 3 decades? Answer: the republican party. Hmmm. So how is it that the democrats somehow get to lay claim to environmentalism, minority rights, and women's rights? The Answer to that is obvious. They like to take hold of the republican party's good ideas, then say the ideas were their's to begin with.

Well, I don't think America is stupid enough to be duped into believing that. All I want people to do this election cycle, and every other that follows it, is to be completely informed on the candidates, look at their proposals, and think which will do the better job at keeping America American. I tend to think the democrats are pushing for America to become another European country. In my opinion, that's a terrible idea. 

It's not a race issue.

It's not. For me it never was. I don't care what race, sex, or religion you are - that does not influence my vote. What does influence me are your ideas, your platform, your plan.

When Obama made the comment a couple months ago that his grandmother was a 'typical white person,' no one flinched. Why? Because it's okay to be racist against the majority, not the minority. And, if you share some blood of the minority, you are allowed to say non-PC things. Imagine if McCain had said, 'typical black person?' His campaign and political career would be over. And, that is stupid. There need not be a double standard.

Then, if that weren't enough, to pre-empt future racist commentaries from McCain's campaign, Obama made a statement more recently saying that racism would be used to defeat him. He said that before a single race-charged comment had been made by the other camp! He thinks he cleverly brought racism to the forefront while denouncing it. He made it an issue when it was not one. Why? Because if he can paint McCain as intolerant before he makes any intolerant remarks he is setting McCain on a pedestal - and everyone will watch for even the slightest non-PC falter. And, that's cheap politics. Why has no one pointed out Obama's racist comments, demeaning blacks, and even his own white grandmother? Oh, that's right, it's okay because he's part black. Justice never was a part of politics, just a bothersome nuisance.