Oh CUTE!

English is an interesting language.

Well, some people seem to think so anyway. And, I guess I fall into the category of "some people". But something that makes English so interesting is that it is a living language. It lives in the same way Frankenstein's monster does/did/I don't know if he's still alive. I say that because of how much it is driven by popular culture, vernacular, and is in essence a flowing amalgam of bits and pieces from many other languages and cultures beyond merely those of the British isles and places that were at once part of the British Empire. Ok, let's get to the point.

The word CUTE has become in a way, it's own sub-language. It's versatility is frighteningly unoriginal:

Here is the way in which it was at one point, and may sometimes still be used:

- That baby/puppy/halloween outfit* is CUTE.

*all terms can also be exchanged for butterfly wallpaper, floral arrangements, kittens, etc.


However, here is the way in which it is now used:

- He's CUTE. - (in reference to a boy/man - who should in fact never be considered cute, unless he looks like a puppy holding a floral arrangement while wearing a children's halloween costume - and in that case I believe the correct terminology would be FREAK. A man/boy used to be called attractive, handsome, good-looking, etc., but now, he has unfortunately been relegated to puppy status. If that were all, then no worries, but cute is a universal coverall as we shall see)

- That's so CUTE! - (when referring to any object that has a favorable color scheme or design, when one could just say, "I love those colors, such and such compliments the other, and/or that is a clever or creative way to use yellow and blue/pink and mint green/etc. and etc.)

- Oh what a CUTE sign! - (When the sign is actually not cute at all, bearing no resemblance to a newborn baby, puppy, and containing nothing resembling a kitten with a bib and pacifier. Most often the sign contains a clever turn of phrase, is witty, or is just cleverly being offensive while also subtly attempting to be innocuous)

- Oh CUTE! - (When referring to anything, ever, for any reason at all)

So there you have it. Is there a remedy for this generic way of describing things. Yes. Will anyone really make any concerted effort to come up with a more in depth way of evaluating their sentiments about people, places, and things that will avoid the temptation of cute's simplicity? Probably not dude. I mean dude. Really dude? Dude.

Puppy and Kitten Prank

Not too long ago, my friend Joey and I decided to do a prank. We were walking along the road side as is our custom at times, and we saw a lot of advertisements on telephone poles. Some of them read "High paying summer sales!," while others said, "5 Free pizzas!" And, on the whole I knew most of those ads were entirely ineffectual. However, that did little to stop us from doing the prank.

Everyone loves puppies. They're cute, fluffy at times, and all in all, adorable. Women faun over them, kids chase them, and even guys get noticeably gentler with puppies. And, on that same note, most people feel similarly about kittens. So, Joey and I decided to make puppy and kitten ads, looking up the most adorable pictures possible online. And, what made it good was that we put my brother's phone number on the kitten ad, and we put my friend Nick's name on the puppy ad. The ads said something like, "Adopt a puppy," or "Kittens for sale." So we made the ads, and printed up a bunch of copies, putting them on bulletin boards at local businesses, telephone poles, and all over BYU campus. Then, we waited.

After a couple days of no response from either Nick or my brother, we tried to pry in a round about way. I don't remember how we asked them, but I'm sure it was something like this: "Hey, have you been getting any strange phone calls lately?" And the response was something like this: "I don't think so...wait, actually, just yesterday I had a voicemail message about some kittens or something." I tried to contain myself. "Oh," I said. "That's weird." So it turns out they only got a couple calls, and my brother hardly answers his phone so they were mostly voicemail messages. Joey and I were hoping for a better turnout, but it was still pretty funny. Definitely funny enough to do again. I recommend it.

For more funny puppy stories go to this Strongbad email.

*If the picture is not in the public domain I apologize, but it's back-linked to the site of origin and you are getting free publicity.