Wednesday, November 5, 2008

All Hail Lord Obama!

Well, it's finally over. We can now sing praises to our new King. Obama the mighty savior of the USA! Now we won't have to pay for gas, the financial crisis will disappear, we won't have to pay for healthcare or mortgages and we will all work for the new national civilian defense force. If that weren't enough we will now have no sadness. Every single person is guaranteed absolute happiness through master Obama's new proposals.

Our mighty new Emperor will bring prosperity to all. He is leader. We all serve him with one heart and mind. He knows best. We will all get everything we ever wanted for our birthdays, and other holidays. A new holiday will be added to the calender: Lord Obama's birthday.

Your tap water will turn into your favorite drink. Your refrigerator will be automatically refilled with your favorite food, courtesy of Obama's intangible, but real love for all of us. You will become more physically fit by watching his speeches. Your yard work will do itself. You will receive twice your salary for half the work. You can have 27 wives or 32 husbands regardless of sex (you can also have both options). 
We will party all day wading in a velvet sea. And this could be our new anthem.

3 comments:

Gordon Brown said...

I thought McCain was going to "smoke" Obama. What happened?

Maybe buying to the kind of magical thinking (tax cuts are holy, drillbabydrill!, SarahBarracuda, invading brown people's countries makes them love us, gays are teh evil) is something the Right should investigate its own preference for.
Taking the beam out of thine own eye rather than swatting at the fleck in the eye of another, I believe is how the man put it.

On second thought, Republicans shouldn't give things a second thought, but should cleave ever more firmly to the principles which have left their party a pathetic shell of its self and alienated the overwhelming majority of the American people.

Michael Powers said...

How McCain managed to get as many votes as he did indicates that the party is very much intact, and people as a whole were not sold on liberal ideology.

There were three big things that lead to an Obama victory:

1. An economic crisis
2. A prolonged, unpopular war
3. A charismatic, well-spoken democratic candidate who ran on a seemingly republican platform of tax cuts and government accountability.

This race was the democrats to lose. You and I both know that. You might note that there was not the overwhelming sweep of house and senate seats that Pelosi and Reid expected. hmmm....interesting.

People were tired of Bush. But, I find it amazing that even with a 2 term President with an approval rating of 25% that McCain still managed to get 46% of the popular vote.

Oh, and I find it interesting that Obama's stance mirrors McCain's on Gay marriage. Well, that can't be! All republicans and conservatives are fool hardy bigots who hate gays, and democrats are overwhelmingly pro-gay.

The race baiting, and concentration on demographic distinctions has been promoted by your party this whole election, and, come to think of it, every election. Chris Matthews went so far as to say McCain's loss in Pennsylvania was a re-enactment of the battle of Gettysburg, with the republicans losing once again. Lest ye forget, the party of Lincoln was the republican party. The party that freed the slaves. The abolitionist party. We (as a country, not a party) won there. This was a not a repeat of Gettysburg. The party that stood for the confederacy was the democratic party.

The republican party has done more for the enabling of people of color and women than the democratic party hands down. Look at the various Presidential cabinets throughout history (The much maligned Bush put both Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice in as Secretaries of State, and appointed numerous hispanic Americans). Look at the supreme court appointments (Both Sandra Day O'Connor and Clarence Thomas by Reagan). And if you think we hate the environment, then I ask, "Which party created the National Park system? Or the EPA?" Oh wait. The republican party.

What will determine whether the democrats stay in power? Things that for the most part are out of their control, like the economy, terrorism, etc. Obama has his work cut out for him. If he handles it well, and isn't overwhelmed by events outside of his control he should win re-election, if not, then you will see a change of the guard once again.

Scott Earl said...

I definitely have noticed the massive love affair for Obama, but when you phrase it like that, it really makes it hit home even more so. Really it kind of reminds me of Shakespeare's Julius Caesar. Makes me wonder if there's a Brutus running around and if we'll see the rise of a Mark Antony as well.