Monday, April 21, 2008

Don't make my face bald

Jesus wore a beard.

Abraham Lincoln wore a beard.

Brigham Young wore a beard. God wore a beard. And using the word 'wore' just seems weird, because let's be honest, it's not an article of clothing that you can just choose to take off and put in the spin cycle with your socks. To get it off you have to apply razor blades. So, although we've developed varying strategies to make razor blades feel good against your skin, they are still razor blades, (unless some of you are forgetting this). Now shaving is not just dangerous, but annoying. Now let me tell you the situation at BYU.

To take a test, you must be clean shaven. To eat at certain cafeterias, you must be clean shaven. To go to some classes, you must be clean shaven. To go to the gym, you must be clean shaven. Let's be honest, it's written into the BYU by-laws. You must always be clean shaven. And, I don't have a particularly bothersome beard, but I know there are those out there that shave in the morning and have a Rip Van Winkle by sundown. It is kind of ludicrous. In my mind it is possible to look professional or even attractive with facial hair. I can understand the school saying, "Let's make sure we don't have any ridiculously bad-looking beards or haircuts," but outlawing them altogether is a bit much. If they want to make it fair, ladies should have to shave their legs before they take a test or go to class. Furthermore, there are some people who can't grow hair on top of their heads, and for them, a beard is all they've got. Let's not take that from them too.

BYU is run in part by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. All throughout its history, its most famous prophets had beards. From Moses to Christ, from Brigham Young and Sidney Rigdon to Heber J. Grant. The Almighty himself has a beard. Famous people throughout history have had them (And, believe it or not but some have even been successful in life). But, then why is it a crime? You know those t-shirts that say 'Skateboarding is not a crime?' I'm going to make shirts that say 'Beards are not a crime' or 'I'm trying to be like Jesus, beard and all' or 'Honest Abe had it going on; it's beard time.' Let me know what kind of slogans might be good.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

How about, "God created a few perfect faces, the rest he covered with hair".