Thursday, March 12, 2009

Tofu that tastes like George Clooney

Cannibalism. It's mostly myth, extremely rare when it actually happens, and appalling to most people, except, well, cannibals. But I just discovered a little news that might help us all rethink cannibalism. As it turns out, PETA is trying to promote a new George Clooney-flavored tofu. While this might sound like satire, I assure you it is not. I wish it were. Oh the irony! 
On the one hand, you have an organization that proclaims the rights of animals from the streets to the roof tops with nude protests, banners, court challenges, and interesting melanges of all of those. On the other, it encouraged Ben and Jerry's to use human breast milk (so as not to exploit cows) and now is promoting a human flavored tofu. Here's where I tend to think the philosophy is starting to run over itself. The animal is put before the human. In order to save the animals, they would have us eat humans (or at the very least tofu flavored like George Clooney). 
Now you may be curious as to how PETA is going to make this George Clooney-flavored tofu. Well, one of PETA's supporters managed to get a hold of his sweaty gym towel, and, just as they make artificial chicken flavor for gravy, they will extract his "essence", replicate it, and make it into tofu. Now, I do know of quite a few women who say, "That George Clooney, I would just eat him up," but I somehow don't think those same women would be interested in tofu flavored like him. Just a guess. I could be wrong for some of you, but my guess is that PETA is not pinning their success on the actual product, but on the mere marketing value. It's like selling holy relics. Like saying certain water was blessed by such and such a saint and so it is special. Well I'm not buying it PETA. I may be all for treating animals humanely, but I'm not about to become a cannibal, especially when we're talking about Mr. Clooney.


katydid said...

and i thought only the aztecs were cannibals...

squirrelyearl said...

Such a weird idea. I agree entirely that they're trying to make animals more than humans.