Robot Policemen

Back in the day, people used to make fun of mall cops and security guards by calling them "rent-a-cops" (well, actually, people still do), but now there is something far worse. You know we have become lazy as a society when robots are giving you speeding tickets. That's right. You heard me. Robots. Robots with cameras are out in force in several cities across the US. I mean, the cops can't be bothered with actually pulling people over any more. No, they need more hours free to stop potential shoplifters at Seven Eleven.

(This one bears an uncanny resemblance to the one that took my picture)

Just recently one of these robots took my picture. I was following someone and they ran a light. I probably should have waited (and hoped that they wouldn't ditch me), but I kept on following. Well, the robots didn't like that. The regular police didn't see me run any light. Not one police officer came out with their flashy badge and stenopad to write me up. Nope. I just got a fine request sent in the mail a couple weeks later. LAZY. I bet it was a robot secretary that mailed the fine from the robot cameraman at the intersection. Next thing you know T-1000 is going to put his silver liquid metal spike hand through your face for not telling him what he wants.

The moral of this story is that robots are taking over and there's nothing you or I can do about it. We will probably all be annihilated and only John Connor will be able to save us. That is why I must now go back in time to save his mother and father him, changing my last name to Connor so the story fits.

Fear of Public Speaking

(Above image taken from this site)

I know some of you have heard of a top list of what people most dislike. Many of them go something like this:

1. Traffic

2. Work

3. Public Speaking

4. Death

It is an interesting list. People dislike public speaking more than death. A bit extreme? Perhaps. I however, am a very staunch outlier. I love public speaking. Public speaking is my superficial domain. When I stand up in front of a group I can be bigger than myself, gather attention with my inflection and pauses, and be lauded for my eloquence.  In common conversation with friends and family I cannot have the same dramatic effect. So I relish in it when I can get it.

On another note, I wanted to post the Schmidt Sting Pain Index of painful insect bites, that I'm sure most people would prefer to public speaking:

1.0 Sweat bee: Light, ephemeral, almost fruity. A tiny spark has singed a single hair on your arm.

1.2 Fire any: Sharp, sudden, mildly alarming. Like walking across a shag carpet and reaching for the light switch.

1.8 Bullhorn acacia ant: A rare, piercing, elevated sort of pain. Someone has fired a staple into your cheek.

2.0 Yellowjacket: Hot and smoky, almost irreverent. Imagine W. C. Fields extinguishing a cigar on your tongue.

2.x Honey bee and European hornet: Like a matchhead that flips off and burns on your skin.

3.0 Red harvester ant: Bold and unrelenting. Somebody is using a drill to excavate your ingrown toenail.

3.0 Paper wasp: Caustic and burning. Distinctly bitter aftertaste. Like spilling a beaker of hydrochloric acid on a paper cut.

4.0 Tarantula hawk: Blinding, fierce, shockingly electric. A running hair drier has been dropped into your bubble bath.

4.0+ Bullet ant: Pure, intense, brilliant pain.  Like fire-walking over flaming charcoal with a 3-inch rusty nail in your heal

Tarantula hawk image taken from this blog 

Public Domain

I have an interesting note to share.  As you know, I am quite fond of posting random, weird, but hopefully applicable pictures to this blog. To get these pictures I do a google image search.  I then link the pictures to the site where I got them from.  In my mind, it's free publicity for them, and I have a cool picture to illustrate my point. Well, recently I got a little anonymous comment from someone telling me that a picture I used wasn't in the public domain, and said I should contact 'so and so' to get rights to display it.  Well, I'm not about to pay them on top of the free publicity I gave them...so I deleted the picture and put one up that I believe was in the public domain.  But, I honestly don't know.  From what I understand, most bloggers don't worry a whole lot about it.  I'm not a picture pirate.  I am bringing your work to light for free, and linking it back to your site, giving you more traffic.  

Arnold would say, "Stop your whining!" And I would have to agree. Seriously.  My blog is in the public domain.  Quote from it as you please.  Print out posts you like.  Put them under your pillow at night for the satire fairy.  Put them in your family bible.  Have them reprinted in your local paper.  I credit the pictures by backlinking them, so I'd expect a little of that too, but my blog will always be free.  Down with the man!  Open source baby!