Science proves you weren't an idiot

You know when you hold some 'common sense' belief and then later in your life some academic study comes out and confirms it? Well, it's about to happen to you again. Remember when you were a kid? No? Yes? Still trying to forget? Well, as a kid perhaps you, at one point in your life, went to the beach. Perhaps you didn't. Either way, my hope is that a some point you found a shell and for some inexplicable reason put it up to your ear (maybe your parents, older sibling, or a scientist told you to do it, or maybe you're just a little genius). What you were probably told, or most likely discovered, is that it sounds like there is another ocean in the shell when you hold it up to your ear. Well, recently, and the Oregon Institute of Saberhagen, scientists discovered that this long held theory is actually true. There is indeed another ocean inside seashells.

Dr. Pietrov Ivanovich, head scientist of the 'Little Shell, Little Ocean' project had this to say:

"For many years I was conned into believing that what I was hearing in the shell was the echo of my own blood pumping. I was always dissatisfied with that answer. It was just unappealing. I needed a sexier answer. I needed to believe in love again. I needed to rediscover my inner child."

And discover he did. Using state-of-the-art ultrasound equipment and a spare wormhole and stethoscope that were lying around in a storage closet, Dr. Ivanovich and his team discovered that there is another ocean inside seashells. "Some naysayers will say, 'Oh yeah, but what about the animal that lived in the shell? Wouldn't it drown?' That's just silly. It's a sea creature, of course it wouldn't drown. And, it's not much different than a person who lives by the beach having a pool. It's like having two copies of the same book in different places so you can read it wherever you go, except, unlike books, this ocean is portable," said Dr. Elaine Fischer, one of the scientists on hand.

(This is doctor Fischer enjoying her little ocean)

After Dr. Fischer's remarks I reminded her that books are portable. She looked at me like I had three eyes, which, apparently is true, but I also think that she didn't know books were portable until that moment. However, regardless of her book portability innocence, she did get a firm handshake and some loving hugs from school children and kids who never grew up everywhere. We always knew it. Thanks for proving it. Seashells do have oceans inside them.

(That's not a shell, but a chocolate bunny, which has an ocean of chocolate inside of it)

The call of the ocean

I was listening to Hawaiian music in the shower this morning. The sound of the ukulele and the amazing vocal range of an almost 800 pound man named Israel Kamakawiwo'ole filled me with a longing for the ocean. The tropics. The beach. The surf. 

Part of this longing has to come from the fact that it is getting colder in Utah. That, and as it gets colder, the trees shed their leaves and I can see more of the barren desert that surrounds me. I get this feeling of distance from the sea. I almost believe it is gone. There is only a vast sea of brown earth. Oh sure, there are multiple shades of brown, but it's still brown.

I hate to see my surfboards idly leaning against the wall with nothing to do but hope. They were meant to ride the waves. I was meant to ride the waves. 

The ocean has always inspired men. It beckons like an unconquerable expanse. It is truly the last frontier, regardless of all of man's peregrinations and circumnavigations. We know very little about it. It's mystique and seemingly endless grip on the horizon fills the soul with wonder and contemplation. You can allow your mind to slip into an infinite blue that has no master. It liberates me. It is somehow home.

Well, I guess there's only one way to solve this problem. Ditch Utah. Go to the coast. Marry a mermaid. Live underwater with clownfish and sea turtles. And surf.

I am Victorious.

VICTORY! Well, for now at least. Here's the breakdown of my day.

7:00am - Woke up

7:30am - Woke up

8:00am - Woke up (for real)

8:02am - Wanted to take a shower but couldn't, someone was in there

8:05am - Dressed and finished French shower (smelling like roses, but still being as filthy as the Seine River)

8:06-8:45am - Intermittent reading for 9 o'clock class, as well as reading of todays news and eating random stuff and halloween candy

8:45am - Walked to class

9:00am - Got to class just as the bell rang

9:00am-9:50am - Tried to stay awake in class. Started off great for the first 10 minutes (Being close to the front didn't help)

10:00isham - Got home with intention to nap until noon, but got distracted by life

10:45am-12:05pm - Sort of napped, yelled at a showering brother listening to Phish, put on headphones and listened to ambient sounds and the ocean.

12:06pm - Ate some ham, cheese and spinach tortilla sandwiches. Washed them down with milk

12:35pm - nowish - Wrote a ridiculously long paper for a class midterm with interruptions (friends, emails, facebook, this blog, etc.)

Current Time: 5:48pm - VICTORY. Well, for now.

Homework left to do: Shoot myself.

Welcome to the Beach house!

Welcome to the beach house. 

We (my brother and I), have renamed our house to remind us of our homeland. The beach house. We have tropical plants, shells, shell mobiles, framed postcards of tropical beaches, surfboards, sweet posters of surfing, sailing, and tropical oases, a solar-powered fake stained glass fish lawn ornament in the window, a fish tank, and we are just now considering filling the fireplace with sand. Seeing as a sand-filled fireplace might be messy, we'll probably just make a custom sandbox to fit in front of the fireplace, and put hermit crabs in it. Contractually we aren't allowed to have pets, but I hardly think it fair to call hermit crabs or fish pets (depending on the fish or hermit crab I suppose). Hermit crabs are ornamental pets. They hardly move, and when they do it's usually a life changing event for all involved. 

Fish on the other hand are also mostly decorative, and at least to me are only exciting when they are aggressive or ill-tempered.

Now perhaps you ask why we decided on making it a 'beach house'. Well, we are in possibly one of the most land-locked states possible in the union. Surrounded by mountains, desert, stupid people, and occasional livestock and wild bears, 

Utah has fenced us in. But, our souls are escaping through our homestead. The ocean lives in the walls, in the bathroom, and now, even in the fireplace (kinda freaky for newcomers who need to visit the lou).